January 28, 2012
Saturday Blonde Joke
Woody sent me this.
Year end statistics on airport pat-down screening from the Atlanta
Airport TSA office
Terrorist Plots Discovered 0
Transvestites 133
Hernias 1,485
Hemorrhoid Cases 3,172
Incontinence 6,418
Enlarged Prostates 8,249
Breast Implants 59,350
Natural Blondes 3
Saturday Boobage 1-28-2012
Continue reading "Saturday Boobage 1-28-2012"January 27, 2012
AOTW 1-27-2012
More ashholiness this week. Jug Hussein Ears Downgrade made a campaign speech disguised as a SOTU speech. Don't know if Chrissy Matthews got a tingle up his legs or a tinkle down his legs. From what I hear, the speech sucked. He can't run on his record so he is announcing what he plans to fuck up in the future. I did see the response by Mitch Daniels. That's whom I want for president. Maybe if the Republicans win the White House he could take Geithner's job at Treasury,
Hey! What about all those gummint employees who owe back taxes. I'm shocked! Many of them are congressional staffers. I'm shocked! Or they work for the White House. I'm shocked! Their role model must be Timmy Geithner. After all, taxes are for the little people.
But no. This week I'm gonna give it to the perpetually aggrieved Sheila Jackson Lee. She may be clueless and incompetent, but she sure does know how to play the race card.
Dem congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee on MSDNC's Martin Bashir program this afternoon says "I think Mr. Gingrich should be ashamed of himself"....He is "using race to divide." Newt is using "code words"
No. The people who are "using race to divide" are people like Sheila Jackson Lee, the Congressional Black Caucus, and the Dimocrat Party. To these people, any criticism of Oblamebush is racist.
SHEILA JACKSON LEE: "These are code words and it's inappropriate...Let me say that the code words are as far as I'm concerned words that generate and signify race. You recall Martin, comments made by someone other than the president when he was a candidate in 2008 caused him to make a significant speech on race to say race is a factor in the united states, but I work and will represent all people. Here we have Newt Gingrich, taking the opposite road, if you will, it's I will use race to divide"
Jesus H. Christ! Is there anything that isn't a "code word" to these people? I got an idea. Why don't you guys make a list of "code words" that we aren't supposed to use? These dipshits play the race card on a daily basis and I'm getting sick of it. We elected a president who promised to transcend race but instead we got this skin skinned asshole who has his surrogates slamming down that worn out race card over and over again.
Plus Dana points out that liberals are obviously racist as well.
So which is actually racist?a) Criticizing dependance upon government for personal sustainability or;
b) assuming that all those who are dependent upon government are black?
This is a trend with progressives, this prejudiced association of welfare and black Americans.
Why not? It's the progressives that keep them poor, uneducated, and relying upon the gummint for assistance.
And Sheila Jackson Lee sez, "I work and will represent all people", which is, of course bullshit. She's a typical
Who is the real racist here? It's Sheila Jackson Lee. She's also the AOTW.
Truth In Advertising
MoK sent me this commercial. Be sure to listen to it all the way through.
January 26, 2012
Book Review
I'm three books behind in book reviews. I was gonna review all three in December, but as you all know, I had a minor inconvenience last month. As it turned out, in light of the Republican response to Jug Hussein Ears Downgrade's campaign speech SOTU speech, this book review is timely.
This is the guy I want as president! He inherited a deficit when he was elected as governor of Indiana but instead of blaming his predecessor during his entire first term, unlike someone we know, he rolled up his sleeves and he turned the budget deficit into a surplus and actually streamlined gummint. This book explains how he did it.
I have to admit, that I had to chuckle a bit while reading it since he referred to his fellow citizens of Indiana as hoosiers. In St. Louis, where I grew up, that is what we called white trash.
In the first chapter, he gives a very brief history of democracy and notes that the Founders did not want to create a democracy with mob rule. We are not a democracy. We are a constitutional republic with checks and balances to limit the size and scope of gummint. The Founders were terrified of democracy. John Adams was afraid that republican virtues would erode away in two generations. As Ben Franklin said when asked what the Founders had created, he replied, "A republic, if you can keep it." It did last more than two generations, but in my opinion, we are in danger of losing it now.
Daniels writes of the "red menace". Nope. He's not talking about rat bastard commies, he's talking about debt. That is currently the largest problem we face today. We cannot continue piling up debt at the rate we are now. Throughout history debt has toppled many empires. His second chapter chronicles the fall of many of these empires due to the "red menace", and he concludes that chapter with the following.
One thing is sure, if we as citizens are not up to it, our politicians will never be. My money's on us, but it's fair to acknowledge that the jury is still out. Once again, exitus in dubio est.
For the Latin deficient that translates to "the outcome is dubious".
Daniels believes in his citizens and he uses his fellow hoosiers as an example. Most of the rest of the book covers many of the changes he made in Indiana. One was making union dues voluntary. Within a few months, 90% of the gummint union workers quit paying dues. Needless to say, that got the union bosses panties in a wad.
Long before Obummercare, he reformed Indiana's health care system. Without going into detail, the rest of the book covers the many changes he made, like making the DMV more efficient and eliminating onerous regulations. He recalls one story where a manufacturing plant chose Indiana over Kentucky. It seems that to require the regulatory reviews and to approve all of the permits would take a year in Kentucky. Indiana took less than a month. As he points out to environmentalists, we need money to support your regulations. Let's give business a chance to grow and increase the tax base, then we will have more money to spend on "saving the environment".
It would take me too long to chronicle all of the Indiana success stories under Daniels, some of which were unpopular at first, but Daniels did not have any trouble getting reelected. The citizens saw what a good job he did. Of course, if your policies are successful and promote growth, thus leading to more employment and a budget surplus, the citizens will reward you with another term. To see what he did in detail, read the book!
His last chapter is titled Change That Believes In You and puts forth his ideas to fix our federal gummint and its budgetary woes. In this chapter, he explains some of his ideas to fix our economy and get our fiscal house in order. He brought up many of these things in his SOTU response to Obungler's speech. Of course, many of these will be demagogued by politicians of both parties; for example, his ideas to reform Medicare and Social Security. As he points out, our current Social Security system cannot survive in its current form. Same with Medicare. We can either address those issues now or we can continue to kick the can down the road until they collapse under their own weight. Both systems are broke. There is not a Social Security Trust Fund or a Medicare Trust Fund. The politicians of both parties have raided them to mask the size of the real deficits and given them IOU's. Politicians of both parties will deny this, but they are lying.
As I said at the start, this is the man I would like to see president of the United States because I believe he is the man to fix our broken economy. After reading his book, most people will agree with me.
Review over.
Right now, I don't care if our next president knows anything about foreign affairs. That's what they would say about Daniels. But foreign affairs is the job of the State Department. That's the Secretary of State's job. Our current Secretary of State is incompetent in foreign affairs as well. Remember that stupid reset button that Thunder Rodent Thighs gave the Russian dignitary? They got the Russian word for "reset" wrong. Dontcha think they could have found one person in the State Department who could speak Russian? They could have asked Condi Rice. She speaks fluent Russian. Putin is laughing at Obummer and Thunder Rodent Thighs. Our enemies have no respect for Olamebush and see him as the lightweight that he is. I expect the president to hire the best foreign policy experts to man the State Department and foreign affair advisers to give him good advice. The Obamessiah has failed at both. His naivete about how the world works astounds me. We don't want our enemies to like us. We want them to respect and fear us. Do you think Putin and Aramalamadingdong fear and respect Obozo? The only thing they worry about is dying of laughter at his simplistic world view and his inflated opinion of himself.
How To Bitchslap A Clueless Liberal
And if you asked this liberal heckler what she though about Franklin Raines and Jamie Gorelick looting Fannie and Freddie she would cover her ears and say, "La la la. I can't hear you!" Or about the role Bawney Fwank and Maxine Waters took in preventing any reforms to Fannie and Freddie, and about a month before they collapsed, Bawney said they were doing fine and should lend even more money to deadbeats, she would also cover her ears and say, "La la la. I can't hear you!" Facts don't matter to rat bastard commies.
Nice bitchslap by Newt. It's nice to see the Republicans have one candidate with balls who won't pander to the LSM like McRINO did back in 2008. What RINO's like McRINO never understand is that the LSM only write good stuff about you when you "reach across the aisle" and double-cross the people who elected you and your fellow Republicans. The press loved McRINO in the primaries. As soon as he got the nomination, out came the knives.
You don't win elections by being nice to your opponent. See Bush 41 against Clinton and McRINO against Jug Hussein Ears Downgrade. You win by attacking. See Reagan against Carter and Mondale and Bush 41 against Dukakis. I miss Lee Atwater.
January 25, 2012
Failing Rhetoric, Failed Record
So was the SOTU speech recycled bullshit? You be the judge.
From Willie in the comments.
And don't forget that Oblamebush said that if didn't fix the economy in three years, he deserved to be a one term president.
Make it so.
He Is Confused
I got a funny comment by some liberal Kool-Aid drinking troll on my SOTU preview. I started to answer him in the comments, but decided that he was worty of some ridicule on the front page.
1. Actually the rich pay less than 35% average versus 15% average for the rest of us. And given they make way more than 3x income, and have way more than 10x as much wealth, I'd say they absolutely deserve to pay higher taxes. Oh, and don't forget Mitt and Newt are prime examples of rich people paying lower taxes than the rest of us.
you are confused - Great screen name since it pretty much describes you. You obviously have not read much of this site. I am not "not-rich". See my pic on the left sidebar? The SRF stands for Snotty Rich Fuck. I am very wealthy and want to keep it that way so I can afford good health care after your hero destroys our health care system.
1. You are wrong on your figures. Why does that not surprise me? I would provide links to support my position but since you are confused it would do no good. And what about the 46% who pay no taxes? I would like a little responsible behavior from them, like not having children they cannot afford and expecting me to pay for them. And they call people like me greedy, someone who worked hard and followed the rules. BTW, I started out poor. Hard work, investing, and not living beyond my means allowed me to become an SRF. Same with my sister. What bothers me is that we're prolly the last generation to do better than our parents and I blame politicians from both parties. They're both moving us toward socialism, it's just the Dimocrats want to do it faster than the Republicans.
2. Policies that support less than 2% of the country at the expense of the remaining 98% are clearly "extreme" but he didn't say it anyway.
The policies are actually supporting the 46% of the country, not the 2%, since the 46% pay no taxes and it's the 2% who create the jobs and provide most of the money for Congress to blow.
3. He didn't claim it, but anyway, let's just keep buying oil from Iran then, sounds like a great idea...
Why don't we build the Keystone pipeline, which your hero just prohibited, so we can buy more oil from Canada instead of Venezuela and the Middle East? It will also supply 20,000 construction jobs, many of them high paying union jobs. Why don't we drill more? Yeah. I know he said that we would, but don't listen to what he says. Watch what he does. He is totally against more drilling for oil. You know how to tell if Obungler is lying? His lips move.
4. Any decent businessman knows that you make many bets in a portfolio and some are duds. It's called capitalism.
"many duds" Like half a billion dollar duds. Even when it was failing he wanted to throw even more dollars at it. It's not called "capitalism", it's called "crony capitalism", and I will rail against it no matter who the president is and what party he is a member of. And the guy behind Solyndra was a major Obungler bundler. I was against the GM and Chrysler bailouts. They were duds that should have gone through bankruptcy. It's called "capitalism". And in real capitalism, the market determines the winners and the losers, not the gummint. And when Bush was president, I railed against steel tariffs, the bloated transportation bill, and the bloated agriculture bill.
5. He didn't claim credit for Bin Laden, in fact he used it to call for teamwork...
That's the first time he did that. When he announced that the SEALS had whacked OBL he used "I" in the announcement many times. Remember that Oblamebush is a narcissist and it's all about him. Just listen to any of his speeches and count the number of times he uses "I", "me", or "my".
Update: Neal Boortz noticed that he said "I" 42 times. Thanks to my sister for pointing that out.
6. ...just like he didn't blame Bush but called for cooperation to solve the economic problems.
You mean he didn't talk about the bad economy he inherited? That would be a first for him.
7-12: from here on in you're just ranting or twisting the truth.
See your number 6. about cooperation. You have to remember when Obarky says "working together" it means the Republicans have to give him everything he wants. I stand by my statement that Obummer is the most partisan president in my lifetime. How much input did he give to Republicans on Obummercare? None. At that fake meeting he held with them, he talked more than all the Republicans combined. He's a talker not a listener. Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid were all passed with bipartisan support. Obummercare was rammed down our throats using legislative tricks. As a cripple, that really pisses me off since I don't want to see the best health care in the world destroyed, just like I don't want to see my country destroyed by a rat bastard commie.
The really sad and weird part is that being both "cripple" and not-rich you already do, or in future would, actually benefit from more equality in taxation and more equitable healthcare support. I really would like to understand why that is, but I doubt you'll have the courage to allow my post and respond to it. May God have mercy on you.
Here ya go dude. Here is your "brilliance" on display for the rest of the blogosphere to see. As my readers well know, I am not "not-rich". I'm in the top 5% and I'm proud of it, especially since I grew up poor. And you obviously know very little about health care. I do. I also know many people in the medical profession who know exactly what Obummercare will do to our health care system but that is the plan. Totally destroy our current system and replace it with gummint run single payer.
And I really would like to educate you, but you obviously have a closed mind and am a supporter of the Obamessiah, so I know that it is an impossible task. As an atheist, I don't have to worry about God having mercy on me, but if there is a God, I hope that He can somehow make you use your mind and not follow blindly as Jug Hussein Ears Downgrade continues the destruction of our noble experiment, the freest, richest, most powerful country in the history of the world. I pity you if you're still alive when that happens since the country will be broke and the health care will be crap. Hopefully, I won't be around to see it.
Thanks for playing.
January 24, 2012
Computer Memories
This brings back memories from when I was an IBM Field Engineering CE (Uh. Uh. Uh. He said Feces). from 1978 to 1985 when I moved to Atlanta and started teaching mainframes. That's what we looked like. Suits. We had to wear suits even while doing manual labor like running large interface cables. At McAuto, the account I worked at, we didn't have to wear suits on nights and weekends.
SOTU
Am I gonna be watching and blogging about tonight's SOTU? Nope. All it's gonna be is a campaign speech by the lying, TelePrompTer reading SCoaMF. I can pretty much tell you what's gonna be in it.
1. The "rich" need to pay their "fair share". As if they're not already doing it. The top 1% who make close to 20% of the income already pay close to 40% of the taxes. What is their "fair share"? 50%? 60%? 70%. If Oblamebush and his merry band of rat bastard commies (AKA Dimocrats) had their way, it would be 100%, which would see the rapid exit of capital from this county. Meanwhile close to 50% of the people pay no taxes whatsoever. Are they paying their "fair share".
2. Republicans' policies are "extreme". Yet another focus group tested word.
3 He's created 2.7 million "green jobs". Where did he get that number? Did he pull it out of his ass? Of course, the LSM, which is the propaganda arm of the Dimocrat Party, will not call him on this. The number of American employed has actually gone down during his administration. In Spain, where they tried this "green energy" bullshit, 2.7 jobs were lost for every "green job" created. We'll see the same stuff here.
4. He'll call for more "investments" (AKA spending) in more "green energy" companies like Solyndra which will mean even more money thrown down the "green energy" rat hole.
5. He'll take credit for whacking OBL which is ironic since the info to get OBL was obtained using methods he opposed and the people who did the whacking (SEAL Team 6) were people he excoriated while in the Senate.
6. The economy that he inherited from the evil Chimpy McHalliburton Bushitler was worse than he thought but as long as we keep on with his policies, which the evil, extremist Republicans oppose, we'll see a boom.
7. As proof that his policies are working is the drop in unemployment which he'll not point out that one of the reasons unemployment has dropped were people who have given up on finding work in the wonderful Obummer economy.
8. Republicans are for dirty air and dirty water.
9. He'll take credit for the Arab Spring.
10. He'll take credit for everything good and blame everything bad on Republicans.
11. We need to work together and eliminate the partisan rhetoric ignoring the fact that he is one of the most partisan presidents I have seen in my lifetime. This thin-skinned whining SCoaMF couldn't take half the crap that was thrown at GWB.
I'm sure there will be even more bullshit that I haven't covered. Also, Dimocrats will jump up and give him a standing ovation on every topic he covers even though, overall, the speech will be boring and mundane.
There are reruns of The Big Bang Theory on TBS tonight. I think I'll watch them as they will be more entertaining than watching the lying, TelePrompter reading SCoaMF. I may tune in to see Mitch Daniels, who is giving the Republican responce. He's the guy I would like to see as president. I read his book, which I should have reviewed over a month ago, but I had a little health issue that prevented me from doing it.
Shakespearian Ron
Ron updates Macbeth.
First, the original.
Enter the three Witches.1 WITCH. Thrice the brinded cat hath mew'd.
2 WITCH. Thrice and once, the hedge-pig whin'd.
3 WITCH. Harpier cries:—'tis time! 'tis time!
1 WITCH. Round about the caldron go;
In the poison'd entrails throw.—
Toad, that under cold stone,
Days and nights has thirty-one;
Swelter'd venom sleeping got,
Boil thou first i' the charmed pot!
ALL. Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.
2 WITCH. Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the caldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing,—
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
ALL. Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.
3 WITCH. Scale of dragon; tooth of wolf;
Witches' mummy; maw and gulf
Of the ravin'd salt-sea shark;
Root of hemlock digg'd i the dark;
Liver of blaspheming Jew;
Gall of goat, and slips of yew
Sliver'd in the moon's eclipse;
Nose of Turk, and Tartar's lips;
Finger of birth-strangled babe
Ditch-deliver'd by a drab,—
Make the gruel thick and slab:
Add thereto a tiger's chaudron,
For the ingrediants of our caldron.
ALL. Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.
2 WITCH. Cool it with a baboon's blood,
Then the charm is firm and good.
Ron's updated version.
Enter four RINOs.1st Rino. Three years now has PotUS failed.
2nd Rino. Three and one more ‘til he’s jailed.
3rd Rino. Say we all: ‘tis time he’s nailed!’
4th Rino. Round to get the votes we go;
First the leader we must know.
Slime that in the past did grow,
At front runners we need throw.
Dig amongst the closets dank,
Learn the secrets foul and rank.
All. Accusations we must mumble;
Ere we make the leader tumble.
2nd Rino. Throw away the Ace of Trump;
Castigate the pizza chump.
Scorn the lass’s Christian trust;
Pillory the Newt for lust.
Criticize the Mormon Mitt;
Ridicule the Paul nitwit.
Throw Santorum to the gays;
Who is Huntsman, anyways?
All. Shoot each other in the butts;
Let folks see us all as nuts.
3rd Rino. Speak what voters want to hear,
Without making meaning clear.
Promise benefits galore:
“Wealth and progress I’ll restore!”
Mention taxes in each town,
Saying that they’ll all go down.
Hold the Constitution high
When the cameras go by.
Climb a platform wide and deep
Built of words vacant and cheap.
All. Wait! Just who is the enemy?
Why should we all disagree?
4th Rino. Now that we all look like jerks,
Dems will win with knowing smirks.
January 23, 2012
The Road To The Superbowl
Hey NFC teams. You wanna know how to get to the Superbowl? Figger out how to play the Falcons in the Falcon's first playoff game. The last three teams to do that, the Cardinals, the Packers, and the Giants, have done that and wound up in the Superbowl. That's how I knew the Giants would win yesterday. The road to the Superbowl goes through Atlanta if the Falcons make the playoffs.
Three Vents
Three vents caught my eye in this morning's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation.
The first one.
Newt favored impeachment for adultery. Would he be impeached?
The lie worked. It just shows that if you tell a lie often enough it becomes the truth to some people. BJ was not impeached for adultery, as the Dimocrats and their propaganda arm, the LSM, would have you believe. He was impeached for lying to a grand jury. It was similar to Nixon who wasn't gonna be impeached for Watergate, but for the coverup. Nixon resigned rather than putting the country through what Clinton did. Nixon had honor. Clinton had none. He felt no shame or remorse for what he did. What do you expect? He's a Dimocrat. Kennedy had no shame or remorse about Mary Jo Kopechne. Near the end of his miserable life, he even joked about it. Yet another slime-ball worshiped and honored by Dimocrats and the LSM. Disgusting!
The next one.
The 1 percent just keeps getting more of the same sized pie, that is not capitalism, it's gluttonism.
Yet another economic ignoramus produced by a failing liberal dominated educational system. Over the last 45 years, I've witnessed the rapid decline of our gummint schools. The libs have done their job well. The fact is, the pie is not static, it's dynamic. Under Jug Hussein Ears Downgrade, it might seem static, since there has been little or no growth. I know. It's all Chimpy McHalliburton Bushitler's fault, even though we experienced growth and very low unemployment under most of his administration. Unfortunately, the Dims took over Congress in 2007 and the decline started. And then the electorate finished the job by electing prolly the worst president in my lifetime. No longer will Jimmah Carter be the worst president. In the future he will be known as the white Obummer. What we need to do is grow the economy and make the pie larger. Unfortunately, that won't happen under Oblamebush. And just wait until the rest of Obummercare kicks in in 2014. We're doomed!
The last one.
GMAFB! When the media is the propaganda arm of the Dimocrat Party what should a candidate do? Sit there and take it? If Newt is a scoundrel candidate for fighting back against the propaganda arm of the Dimocrat Party, I want to see more scoundrel candidates like him. At last, a candidate with balls. John King got taken to the cleaners by Newt. The audience loved it as did the voters in South Carolina. Compare how the LSM treats Dimocrats and Republicans. They are always tougher on Republicans. We knew more about Sarah Palin two weeks after McRINO selected her as the VP cansdidate than we'll ever know about Obozo. The LSM protects its own. See Bill Clinton. The Dimocrats and their willing accomplices in the LSM told us over and over again that it was "all about sex" and attacked Ken Starr and it worked. See the first vent.
Monday Pun 1-23-2012
A twofer from Richard.
#1. Not really a pun
Two trucks loaded with 1,000 copies of Roget's Thesaurus collided as they left a New York publishing house last Thursday, according to the Associated Press.
Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied ...
#2. Really a pun.
Webster's dictionary editors met to decide how to abridge the new edition.
"We are listing too many old words that no one uses any more They've got to go," said the chief editor. "It's time we faced the fact that...