Happy Mother's Day

I wrote this on Mother's Day in 2002. I link to it every year.

Sunday Metal

Here's the original from Brownsville Station.

57 States

Did you know that we have 57 states? Why do I know that? Because Jug Hussein Ears told me so.

So now we know why he doesn't wear a flag pin on his lapel. It looks like this.

Stole it from the LA Times of all places.

Now just imagine if McRINO had said this.

More On Global Warming

Maybe we should call it glo-bull warming. Mike sent me this from the NOAA website.

The average temperature in April 2008 was 51.0 F. This was -1.0 F cooler than the 1901-2000 (20th century) average, the 29th coolest April in 114 years. The temperature trend for the period of record (1895 to present) is 0.1 degrees Fahrenheit per decade.

Quick! Call Pope Albert I of the Church Of AGW! Wait a minute! This is "climate change". That's the new mantra. Anyway, we're supposed to have a cooling trend for the next ten years.

And look! We just had a volcano erupting and shooting ash into the stratosphere.

SANTIAGO, Chile - The long-dormant Chaiten volcano blasted ash some 20 miles into the Andean sky on Tuesday, forcing the last of thousands to evacuate and fouling a huge stretch of the South American continent.

A thick column of ash climbed into the stratosphere and blew eastward for hundreds of miles (kilometers) over Patagonia to the Atlantic Ocean, closing schools and a regional airport. Citizens of both countries were advised to wear masks to avoid breathing the dangerous fallout.

Y'know that could cause global cooling. Time to build some coal fired power plants and piss off Jon Acuff who wrote the following letter to the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation. You have to wade through some letters about the incompetence of the Atlanta city gummint (go figger) before you get to his but I'll post it in its entirety.

Would you buy a 20-year-old car that was being sold to you as new? What about a 20-year-old computer? Why then would Cobb EMC want to be part of Power4Georgians, a coalition to build coal-fired power plants in Georgia? It's bad enough that Georgia already has the two most polluting coal-fired power plants in the country. Now, Cobb EMC and Power4Georgians want to add another, using the same outdated, polluting technology that was used 20 years ago.

The best part of the deal? The primary use of this "new" dirty power will be for sale to other states, since Georgia has no shortage of power, only water, which these plants use enormous amounts of. Doesn't this speak directly to the allegations of mismanagement and poor decision-making by Cobb EMC?

Jon, you ignorant asshole! We're gonna need all the coal fired and nuclear plants that we can build. The electricity has got to come from somewhere to power all of those electrical cars that you libs want. Ditto if we move into hydrogen. It takes electricity to make hydrogen. For your information, coal fired plants have become much cleaner than the 20 year old plants that you are talking about. The gummint has set stringent emission levels for all new plants that are built.

Jon, you are stuck on stupid.

As is the Nebraska Nitwit.

Saturday Bach

I heard this on the radio the other day and figgered it would make a great Saturday Bach. It's the Prelude from the Lute Suite #4

Saturday Blonde Joke

A visual one.

Sent to me by some angels.

Saturday Boobage 5-10-2008

Ken Li

Bou found this. Actually someone sent it to me awhile back and I forgot about it. It goes along with the Misheard Lyrics post from yesterday.

AOTW 5-9-2008

I was thinking of giving it to BJ for losing it in West Virginia but I decided against it. Instead, I'm giving it to Chuck "the Schmuck" Shumer for his stupid statement about ANWR that I wrote about earlier this week. Following Chuckie's reasoning, we shouldn't do anything about global warming since Pope Albert I of the Church of AGW said we have only ten years until it's too late. Wait. Bad example. We're gonna have global cooling for the next ten years. So I guess we have twenty years before we hit the point of no return. Fuck it! I'll prolly be dead by then.

Anyway for being part of the problem with high energy prices rather than being part of the solution and for being a putz on top of that, I'm giving Chuckie the AOTW Award.

Thunder Rodent Thighs In The Bunker

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Got this from Ron.

NSFW!

Update: Doug Ross has a great picture from the bunker.

Caption Time

Dick sent me the following picture that he got from here. She is having a captioning contest.

Honest! My smile will not break this camera!

It's A Miracle

Holy crap! The Atlanta Urinal and Constipation published an editorial I actually agree with. Was that a pig I saw flying by my window?

U.S. Sen. James Webb, a Virginia Democrat and Vietnam combat veteran, is championing legislation to improve college tuition benefits for those who volunteer to serve their country in the U.S. military. Under his proposal, today's veterans would get roughly the same benefits offered those who served during World War II.

"For all who have been saying that this is the newest 'Greatest Generation,' " Webb argues, "this is the easiest way for us to prove that."

Webb's approach has won support from members of both parties, with 57 senators and 292 congressmen —- including 89 House Republicans —- as co-sponsors.

I agree totally with this. Our military is 100% volunteer and we do not do enough for them. This is the least we can do.

However, the bill is opposed by Republican leadership in Congress, by GOP presidential nominee John McCain and by President Bush on grounds that it is too generous and could hurt re-enlistments.

And you guys are wondering why you are losing elections? This is just one of those reasons.

However, as Webb and others point out, up to 75 percent of soldiers and Marines already return to civilian life after their first enlistment. Those who "re-up" are probably committed to a military career, where they could get tuition assistance from the military while on active duty.

True. My nephew reenlisted. He plans to make the Army his career.

Shame on you Republicans who do not support this bill! It may be a Dimocrat ploy to make you look bad (This editorial was written by Jay Bookman who is a liberal and has been against the war from the start.) and if you don't support it, it will make you look bad and deservedly so.

Our men and women in uniform —- less than 1 percent of the American population —- bear a vastly disproportionate share of the burden of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Giving them the chance to earn a college degree is not too great a reward for that service.

Hear! Hear!

Misheard Lyrics

From my friend Pres.

Lorraine Kelly is not that hot, but she does have some nice boobage. And she talks just like Eric's wife, the lovely Fiona. And if I remember correctly, Prosper lives in Lorraine France.

More Monty Python

I got this one from Steve

Ten Years

Chuck "the Schmuck" Shumer opened his mouth the other day and this is the bullshit that came out: "Even if we started drilling in ANWR we wouldn't get any oil from there until ten years from now."

That is one of the dumbest things I have ever heard Chuckie say. On a side note, don't you think someone ruined a perfect penis when they put ears on him?

Chuckie's statement is like saying, "Even if you put money in an IRA or 401K you wouldn't be able to access it until you retire."

The Dims have been using this "ten years" argument for not drilling in ANWR for 14 years now. Just think, if BJ hadn't vetoed ANWR 14 years ago, we would have been getting oil from it now for 4 years.

Thanks BJ. Thanks Dimocrats.

Got it from Braden.

Obviously Dimocrats don't see the point. ANWR is an Arctic desert fer chrissakes. The indigenous people want drilling there. The people in Alaska want drilling there. The people opposed are buttheads like Kennedy and Chuckie who have never been there and have no intention of going there.

The freaking ecotards are gonna be the destruction of this country.

Assholes!

Liberalism

Pretty much says it all. Sent to me by Greg.

Conservatives Are Happier Than Liberals

That's no secret. We are.

Individuals with conservative ideologies are happier than liberal-leaners, and new research pinpoints the reason: Conservatives rationalize social and economic inequalities.

Regardless of marital status, income or church attendance, right-wing individuals reported greater life satisfaction and well-being than left-wingers, the new study found.

Conservatives also scored highest on measures of rationalization, which gauge a person's tendency to justify, or explain away, inequalities.

The rationalization measure included statements such as: "It is not really that big a problem if some people have more of a chance in life than others," and "This country would be better off if we worried less about how equal people are."

That's right. There is a reason that some of us are SRF©s and some of us are losers. It comes down to hard work and not relying on the gummint to help us out.

Of course, it's obvious to the most casual observer, and to anyone who reads the comments of this blog, that we are all much more happier than the Nebraska Nitwit and any of the liberal trolls who blunder through here.

And we also have better looking women. That's another reason we're happier. Time to repost this.

Monty Python Thunder Rodent Thighs

Come on back Jug Hussein Ears, you pussy! It's just a flesh wound!

From Pete.

Blownstar

So, do any of you want to meet me, CharlieDelta, and Kerrcarto? All three of us will be in Kerrville Texas June 27-29. Yep! It's the 3rd annual Blownstar Meetup with the Blown-Eyed Blodgers. At least one half of the Elderly Brothers (me) will be there. We're still trying to get Jimbo the elderly half of the Elderly Brothers to commit. You'll get to hear me sing Pretty Fucked up and Gay Cowboys.

More info here.

Musical Roller Coaster

From Mike.

It Ain't Over Until It's Over

But it appears to be over for Thunder Rodent Thighs.

On a side note. I took a day off. I'm OK. Just didn't feel like posting.

She's now loaned her campaign more money. I like to see a Clinton spending some of her money rather than other people's money.

She barely won in Indiana and got her ass handed to her in North Carolina. I like the fact that she's staying in. Make Jug Hussein Ears spend more money. She might even go to court to try and get the Florida and Michigan delegates seated. That's what Dims do when they can't win. They sue.

As long as she stays in, the campaign is fun to watch. Matthews and Oberasshole are pulling their boners for Jug Hussein Ears and Thunder Rodent Thighs is delaying their orgasms. I imagine Thunder Rodent Thighs has prolly prevented a lot of orgasms in her life. Ask BJ about that. Why do you think he cheats on her?

So now it's on to West Virginia. I'll prolly be in Minnesota on Tuesday. More on that later.

Give Peas A Chance

So now according to a Swiss ethics panel the killing of flora morally wrong.

You just knew it was coming: At the request of the Swiss government, an ethics panel has weighed in on the "dignity" of plants and opined that the arbitrary killing of flora is morally wrong. This is no hoax. The concept of what could be called "plant rights" is being seriously debated.

A few years ago the Swiss added to their national constitution a provision requiring "account to be taken of the dignity of creation when handling animals, plants and other organisms." No one knew exactly what it meant, so they asked the Swiss Federal Ethics Committee on Non-Human Biotechnology to figure it out. The resulting report, "The Dignity of Living Beings with Regard to Plants," is enough to short circuit the brain.

Well, just like there were war protest songs in the 60's, we now have plant protest songs. Here's one of them, courtesy of Ron who also sent me the link to the article.

Mental Illness

I opened up Sunday's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation and came upon this tidbit.

Q & A / ROSALYNN CARTER, former first lady: 'It's morally wrong not to treat' mental illnesses

I agree. I just wish that she would get her anti-Semitic butthead of a husband help for his mental illness.

Former first lady Rosalynn Carter's interest in improving mental health care began when her husband ran for governor of Georgia in the 1960s.

Prolly 'cause she wanted him to get some help before he screwed up Georgia. My friends who lived here back then said he was a rotten governor.

Soon, one of her main objectives may be realized. The U.S. House in March passed a broad bill that requires insurance "parity" —- comparable coverage —- for mental and physical illnesses.

Good. Now maybe she can get Jimmah some help for his mental illness.

But there are still hurdles. A bill passed earlier by the Senate that requires parity is not as far-reaching.

Maybe not.

Carter, who is writing her second book on mental health, spoke with The Atlanta Journal-Constitution a few days after the House vote.

Working title: Living With Mental Illness, My Life With Jimmah.

After

My sister asked me to post a picture of what the area by the wax myrtles looked like. It's a shame I don't have a before picture so y'all could see what I accomplished last week.

I'm getting pine straw installed on the entire Great Berm of Dunwoody later this week.

Monday Pun 5-5-2008

Sent to me by many readers and is a repeat for the occasion.

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was
manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of
the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be
the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever
delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New
York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly
awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so
great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still
observe to this day.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of
course, as

Best Behavior

So I had dinner with Michael and Cindy and another couple last night. He is a soon to be retired history professor at Emory University and she is a retired medical librarian. Of course, they are both liberal.

Cindy cautioned me to be on my best behavior. So what did she do? She had me come early and made me watch Jerry Wright's speech at the National Press Club that she and Michael had recorded.

Did I mention that we'd be drinking a lot of wine? For the record, I took a 2000 Pontet Canet Bordeaux. It's drinkable now, but will only get better. I have four more bottles of it that I won't touch for another two years.

I have met this couple before. He is an expert on Roman history and has written books and has been on a couple of those history programs where they cut to experts during the programs. I get along with him because I love Roman history. I had also read his latest book since the last time I had seen him.

Sometime during the dinner, we were talking about the Roman Empire and making comparisons to the United states today. He brought up the fact that the creation of Iraq, was a blunder by the Brits after the breakup of the Ottoman Empire. Michael has maintained all along that after the invasion we should have broken up Iraq into three separate countries: Kurdland, Sunniland, and Shi'iteland. That's what the Brits should have done after WWI. He agreed.

Then we started veering into politics. He's an Obama supporter. I was quiet. In fact, I was on my best behavior. Michael and Cindy were very impressed. Fortunately, we didn't stay on politics too long. For the record they both agreed that Jerry Wright is an asshole.

See. You can take me out in public.