Our cafeteria here at the TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name) site where I work just posted a notice that to serve us better, they would close the cafeteria between 9:30 and 11:30. Excuse me, but how is closing the cafeteria for two hours in the morning gonna provide me with better service? I'm a creature of habit and my second cup of coffee is scheduled at 10:00 AM, and since the cafeteria will not be open then, you bastards are not providing me with better service!
When did this shit start anyway? You can be sure that anytime someone tells you that 'to provide better service', they're gonna do sumpin' that's gonna piss ya off. Dammit, we live in a service economy and the sometimes the service really sucks. When you say you're gonna provide me with better service, howza 'bout actually giving me better service? Otherwise, tell me the truth. Here's the truth. Because we provided shitty service and rotten overpriced food and we're not making a profit, we're gonna lay people off and cut back on our service and make everything even worse.
When I first moved to this site seventeen years ago we had a fantastic cafeteria. The food was good and reasonably priced. Of course, the reason for that was TCIDNN subsidized it as a perk for the employees. The cafeteria was so good that people came from other TCIDNN sites to eat here. We had incredibly long lines during the lunch hour. It was so bad, that those of us who actually worked in this building were put on a lunch schedule to try to even out the flow. But all good things must come to an end.
We got a new administration services manager who fixed the long lines problem. First, she changed vendors and second TCIDNN quit subsidizing the cafeteria. The food sucked and it also cost more. Overnight the problem with the long lines disappeared. I happened to mention to her secretary that she did a real good job solving the problem. Now that the cafeteria sucked, no one came from other buildings to eat here. Unfortunately, the manager overheard me, and the next day my manager had me on the carpet. I tried to explain to him that it was a joke (Which I guess it wasn't.) and the administration services manager needed to get sense of humor. May as well have asked for a brain too.
Since then, we have changed vendors many times 'to provide us with better service' and everytime we have, the 'better service' sucked. We used to eat on real plates and use real silverware. First we got rid of the plates and moved to fine paper plates. Then, since the silverware would cut the plates, we moved to plastic knives, forks, and spoons. And did I mention that the food sucked? Did I mention that the service sucked? Did I mention that the food cost too freaking much? So now, more people bring their lunch or go out to eat, so the cafeteria doesn't get much business. Duh. And now, to give us 'better service', they're gonna piss more people off by closing the cafeteria for two hours in the morning. Thanks a bunch you dumb bastards!
And the coffee. How much does it cost for a freaking cup of coffee? Jesus H. Christ! It's mostly water. And here's a neat thing. If you use your own cup it's ten cents cheaper. So a 12 ounce styrofoam cup is 80 cents but if you bring your own cup, no matter what the size, it's seventy cents. Also, on short weeks there is no cafeteria service at all, so there is no coffee. As a result, personal coffee machines have sprouted up throughout the building. I'm about ready to bring one in myself. 'Better service' my ass.
And as long as I'm on this subject, how about that bullshit phrase, 'You're call is important to us'? Listen up, buttwipes! If my freaking call is so freaking important, howza' bout having someone answer the freaking phone so I don't have to obey a machine and punch a bunch of buttons and wait on hold listening to stupid elevator music??!!! I didn't call to listen to Barry Manilow singing Mandy and constant repetition that my 'call is important please stay on the line.' I got more important things to do with my time. I'd like to find the asshole who invented the automated response system and glue a telephone receiver to his ear and make him listen to goddamn elevator music until he went insane. Aarrggggh!!! It drives me crazy!
So please don't provide me with any better service. By their definition of better service, they'll close up shop and move out of the building.
And answer the freaking phone. Act like my call is important.
Aarrgggh! I give up! I can't take it anymore. Make him stop!
I hate you Mandy!
Posted by denny at September 23, 2002 02:21 PM