Bitch Slapping II
To the delight of my sister, I present another edition of bitch slapping where I demonstrate my white hyperbole by cyber bitch slapping people who have royally pissed me off. For the last session of bitch slapping go here.
Let's start off at the World Summit on bashing the United States poverty and the environment. The Mullman has an interesting take on it. What he left out was less than five miles away from this bullshit summit where people are gorging on gourmet food and creating mountains of waste, people are living in poverty and drinking water out of standpipes. And, here on his Secret Decoder Ring are links to his sources. So to all 40,000 of you hypocritical bastards who are living it up and trashing the enviromnent, here's a big ol' ... Whap! Damn, my hand gets tired bitch slapping over 40,000 people. Shoulda saved this one for last.
I cannot believe I did not bitch slap Bill Clinton last time. Good ol' brave Bill Clinton who told a Jewish group in Canada that if the Iraqi army crossed the Jordan River (not much chance of that happening) he would pick up a rifle and fight and die to protect Israel. I don't know which was the most sickening: the fact that he threw that bullshit out there or the fact that he received a standing ovation. Bill, you lying sack of shit, step right up and ... Whap! And you stupid schmucks in the audience, did you believe that bullshit? If so, then you deserve a big ol ... Whap!
And let's hear it for Billy McKinney who increased the turnout of Jewish voters to vote against his daughter in Georgia's 4th Congressional District, by saying, the night before the election, that the reason the race was so close (which it turned out not to be) was Jews, J-E-W-S. Well, Billy, I got sumpin' to say to you: You are a racist bigot, B-I-G-O-T. Whap!
Helen Thomas, the senile, clueless, reporter for some news organization. Who cares which one. Sweetie, you are a washed up ol' WTD (waitin' to die). You don't have Clinton to worship any more and you've become a dried up old hag. I'm afraid if I bitch slap you you may just blow away, but I'm willing to take that chance. Whap!
Al Sharpton wants to run for president. Please! Please! Please! Run Al run! Run Al run! We can ask him about the Tawana Brawley fiasco and the Steve Pagones lawsuit. For those who don't know, as the lamestream press did not cover it, Steve Pagones was the district attorney in Wappinger Falls that Tawana Brawley accused of whatever it was that was supposed to have happened to her. Pagones sued Reverend Al, C. Vernon Mason, and the other yahoo who was involved in the fiasco, and won. I was up in Poughkeepsie, New York when Pagones won his suit. No news organization outside of Poughkeepsie picked it up. Liberal bias? Nah. Anyway, Reverend Al said he didn't have any money. C'mon. Look at his suits and the fancy medallion. And his kids go to private schools. Gimme a break. Hey Rev! ... Whap!
Phil Donahue. So MSNBC has lousy ratings. Here's an idea. Bring back Phil Donahue. Yeah, that's the ticket. Fox is kicking ass because, quite frankly, people are getting tired of the liberal bias of the lamestream media. So, to compete with Fox, we'll get an over the hill liberal. Jesus, he ain't even a Dimocrat. He's a Green fer crissakes. I cannot watch him because it's just too, too pathetic. I didn't see the show when he had Ann Coulter on, but I read the transcript. It was brutal! My friend Cindy called me last week and told me to turn on Donahue because he had Louis Farrakhan on. I told her I'd find the transcript and read it. Watching an over the hill liberal like Donahue is just too sad. Go join Helen Thomas in the old folks home. Whap! And to the brilliant MSNBC execs ... Whap!
Sheila Jackson Lee. We can always count on her to be about the dumbest member of Congress. She toured the Houston Space Center during the Mars Lander mission. As she was watching the little robot on the surface of Mars she asked if it were anywhere near the flag the astronauts planted. Sheila, there's a village somewhere that's missing an idiot. Whap!
James Carville. 'Gimme some gumbo! Tax cuts for the rich! Ah want mah gumbo! Bush stole the election!' I got some questions. Does he ever shut up? What does Mary Matalan see in him? Does he get a rabies shot every year? How did he keep his mouth shut long enough to have sex and father children? Enquiring minds want to know. Whap!
Jesse Jackson. Does anyone really listen to Jesse Jackson anymore? Does anyone really care? Ya know, this is almost a waste of a bitch slap. Oh well .... Whap! Whatever.
Paul Begala. The other half of Carville and Begala. I just love seeing Chris Kattan on Saturday Night Live do Begala when they do the Hardball satire. Everytime I see Begala I just think of him being someone's bitch in prison. 'Hi, mah name is Bubba. You gonna be mah bitch.' So, it's so appropriate to give him a big ol' ... Whap!
And last, but surely not least, we have New York City Councilman Charles Barron who said,
"I want to go up to the closest white person and say 'You
can't understand this, it's a black thing' and then slap
him, just for my mental health," Barron announced as 2,000
to 3,000 reparations supporters looked on.
And then he said it was 'black hyperbole' and he was joking (yeah, I even have white friends). Charlie, you are not only an idiot, but you are a fucking idiot. So here's some white hyperbole you stupid, racist sonuvabitch. Whap! That's a white thing! And here's another Whap! for good measure.
Damn! My hand is sore and tired. See y'all tomorrow.
Posted by denny at September 4, 2002 08:22 PM Category: Bitch Slapping