Guess what? There is a Vast Left Wing Conspiracy (VLWC). I've found their site. It's from the same people who gave us the 'I Believe Cynthia' drivel that I wrote about June 29. Sorry, links before July 1 do not work because I changed my archiving frequency to monthly, and don't know how to change the prior weekly archives to monthly. But, back to the VLWC. They have a 12 Step Program for wimpy Democrat politicians, put together by Reba Shimansky. So without further ado, let's check it out.
1. Do not be intimidated by Bush's high approval ratings-they are a mile wide and an inch deep. In spite of brainwashing by the media, there is no great affection of Americans for the White House bum-George W. Bush.
Media brainwashing? What media is she talking about? Maybe CNN (the Clinton News Network). Or how about NPR (National Proletariat Radio)? I know, it must be that Bush shill Peter Jennings. Or it could be that noted Republican supporter Dan Rather. And I know perky Katie Couric is one of George W. Bush's greatest fans. Wait a minute. It just came to me. Must be Molly Ivins. I think Reba's just upset that Bubba's ratings never got as high as Dubya's or stayed as high as long. Maybe the American public like Bush because he is an honorable man, unlike Bubba who is white trash. Do you remember him bragging about his pickup truck with astroturf in the bed?
2. Never refer to Bush as our wartime President. We are engaged in a campaign or fight against terrorism-this is not comparable to World War II. Also Americans do not like to change leaders during wartime and the use of this term will guarantee Bush a second term. Furthermore, wartime Presidents do not have the time to campaign and raise money for their party the way Bush constantly does.
She's right. This is not comparable to World War II. In World War II, we knew who our enemies were and where to find them. Also we didn't have to worry about attacks on the continental United States until 9/11. We know we are dealing with fanatical people and, if they can get their hands on one, they will smuggle in a nuclear device and embark on their anticipated tryst with the 72 virgins and take a lot of innocent Americans with them. But Reba, this is a war. It's just a different kind of war. And, listening to a Democrat gripe about the President's fundraising is a hoot! Pot: 'Hey Kettle, you're black.' Kettle: 'I'm rubber and you're glue. Everything bounces off of me and sticks to you.' Now children, let's not fight. Reba's just mad because Bush is raising more money than Clinton did and he doesn't have to rent out the White House to do it.
3. Challenge the media when they refer to Bush as a compassionate conservative. Bush likes to project an image of being a different of Republican but his 17-month record shows that he is a foot soldier of the radical right. For example he says he is in favor of a Medicare drug program but only wants to invest a token amount of money to fund it. He should be held accountable for his record of radical right extremism.
Huh? This is the best she can do? We have a President who signed the biggest farm bill in history. And since when did the radical right champion steel tariffs? The radical right would not even have had a Medicare prescription drug program. Listen up you liberal twit, I'm waiting for Bush to govern from even the moderate right. If it weren't for the tax cuts and the foreign policy, I'd think he was a Democrat. Sorry, bitch, but that dog won't hunt. (bitch - dog, get it? I'm just explaining this in case Instapunditwatch or Reba happen to read this. I'm still getting referrals from her. Thanks for the traffic.)
4. Put Bush on notice that Antonin Scalia would be an unacceptable choice to replace William Rehnquist as Chief Justice and if Scalia is selected it will be filibustered to death. Democrats must remind Bush that Democrats have never gotten over his stealing of the presidency and we regard Scalia as his co-conspirator.
And Democrats never will get over his 'stealing' of the Presidency. 'Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends'.... (thanks Andrea). No fair! No fair! Only Democrats are allowed to steal elections. And dammit! We sent our pro at election stealing, Richard Daley, down to Florida. If he couldn't steal it, then Bush must have won. We could go over this many times, but according to the US Constitution, Bush won. After the election, all the recounts that the Dems wanted showed Bush won.
5. Hold Bush responsible for the sluggish economy. He was given the booming Clinton economy, which he has destroyed thru his mismanagement and tax cuts for the rich. We now have deficits instead of the Clinton surpluses as far as the eye can see.
The 'booming Clinton economy' had tanked before the election. Oh, and we gotta get 'tax cuts for the rich' in there. Why does everytime I hear that I think 'Four legs good, two legs bad'?. OK, if 'tax cuts for the rich' are so bad, why don't y'all campaign on raising taxes? 'If I win this election, I promise to raise taxes.' Mondale did it and he was a rousing success. C'mon Reba put your heart in it. 'Soak the rich!' No, Democrats always promise to lower taxes. Remember Bill Clinton promising a middle class tax cut in 1992 and then in the summer of 1993 going on TV and saying that he'd tried everything else and had to raise taxes and this was the hardest thing he had ever done? Actually, the hardest thing he's ever done is sleeping with Hillary or maybe the one or two times he's ever told the truth.
6. Never praise Bush for his handling of his so-called war on terror. We still have not captured Bin Laden and the war in Afghanistan is still going on. His leadership has been a failure.
So Bosnia, where Bubba sent troops, is a failure because the troops are still there? And she's right, we have not captured bin Laden, but we haven't heard much from him either, have we? If he's alive, he's probably living a life of ease in some luxurious cave in Afganistan. Bush has been a hell of a lot more effective than Bubba who blew up an aspirin factory in the Sudan and a tent and some goats in Afganistan. At least he did sumpin' rather than promising justice, biting his lip and getting a blowjob from Monica.
7. Demand the release of the Aug 6th CIA memo, which warned Bush that Al-Qaeda would be hijacking planes on US soil. Bush could be (sic) have taken some pre-emptive measures instead he did nothing and 3000 Americans were killed. Bush, not the CIA or FBI is to blame for 09/11.
Reba, you ignorant slut. Please. I'm begging you. Please. Tell me what pre-emptive measures could anyone have taken to stop 9/11. Some Muslim men are gonna hijack some planes. Better keep a sharp lookout and single out men of Middle Eastern descent at airline check in counters. 'Excuse me, I'm Reba Shimansky from the Democratic party. We cannot allow you to do that. That would be ethnic profiling and that is bad.' No. Throwing common sense out the window for the sake of political fucking correctness is to blame for 9/11 and if we have any more 9/11's we can also blame it on political fucking correctness because, even after 9/11, and knowing that the most likely hijackers are gonna be men of Middle Eastern descent, we still cannot single out men of Middle Eastern descent for additional security checks because we might hurt their feelings! Let's search little old ladies in wheelchairs, Al Gore and Ray Charles. Jesus H. Christ! What is wrong with this picture?
8. Cheney's failure to release the notes of his Energy task force meetings must be made a campaign issue.
Whereas Hillary's failure to release the notes of her health care meetings was OK.
9. The electorate should be reminded of the influence that Enron had in the Bush administration in terms of formulating energy policy and hiring of personnel.
Huh? How does she know that if we're still waiting for Cheney to release his notes? 'Truth? We don't need no stinkin' truth! We make shit up.'
10. Democrats should give Bush the same respect and deference that Republicans showed to President Clinton, who unlike Bush was a legitimately elected President.
'Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends...' Bush stole the election ... blah blah blah. 'tax cuts for the rich ... blah blah blah ... save Social Security ...blah blah blah ... starving women and children ... blah blah blah ... (insert your favorite Democrat mantra here) Listen Reba, respect is something that has to be earned. Billy boy is white trash. He was accorded the respect due to any President. Unfortunately, he started trashing the office from day one. History will show him to be the most corrupt President, with the most corrupt administration that this nation had ever seen. Maybe if Trent Lott had had a spine, and the Senate and the American people could have seen all the evidence against that fat, lying hillbilly (I apologize to any hillbilly who's offended) he might have been thrown out of office. And if he had been, Al Gore would be President now and you wouldn't have had to go through the trouble of writing these 12 steps. Of course, then I wouldn't have had a blog for today.
11. Domestic issues such as shoring up Social Security and Medicare should be made campaign issues and not placed back on the backburner because of Bush's scare tactics.
The mean evil nasty Republicans want to eliminate Social Security and Medicare and kill off all the old people. Don't forget to bring up the poor and the homeless. And don't forget to say. 'It's for the children'. Calling John Lewis. It's time for you to get up on the floor of the House and say, 'They're coming for the poor. They're coming for the elderly. They're coming for the children.' Actually John, we have to wait a little while longer. We're a few months behind schedule on the concentration camp construction program.
12. Do not approve any of Bush's conservative judges. There are enough rightwingwacko judges on the federal bench.
We certainly don't want any judges on the bench who actually believe in the Constitution. And don't forget, there can never be enough leftwingwacko judges on the federal bench.
So now you know Reba's 12 step program for wimpy Democrat politicians. It's the usual drivel that we have come to expect from the Democrats. Reba, after reading this bullshit, I've come to the conclusion that what you need is a good ol' healthy bitch slap.
Reba Shimansky! Come on down!
Whap!
Posted by denny at July 16, 2002 12:47 PM