Well just let me count the ways.
But first, since I was originally gonna fisk a Molly Ivins column, but was beaten out by James on Monday (a grappa toast to you, Mr.DiBenedetto), I've dug into my archives for my very first takedown of Molly. It's right here.
Today, I want to talk about Microsoft. I hate Bill Gates. I really do. My friends, knowing that I am a libertarian, asked me how I felt when the gummint went after Microsoft. As a libertarian, I was pissed. As a user, go git 'em! Yeah Yeah Yeah I don't have to use Microsoft. I could buy an Apple product. And I must admit, Apple has amazed me. A proprietary business model usually fails. A prime example is the Beta format on Sony VCR's. Beta was far superior to VHS, but since it would only run on Sony VCR's, VHS won. Apple still has a small core of dedicated users who rave about their product.
I'm also not that happy with IBM. They had a five year headstart with OS/2, and didn't take advantage of it. They had a multitasking OS, as I said, five years before Windows 95. And it didn't crash as much as Windows 95, either. But, as usual, the rocket scientist managers in the PC division of IBM, let Gates take them to the cleaners. I loved OS/2. Unfortunately, it got caught in a catch 22. Not too many people wrote programs for it since no one ran it. And no one ran it because no one wrote programs for it. It could run programs written for Windows prior to Windows 95. But after Windows 95, that started to go away. Bummer. I had to either go Windows or Apple. Even IBM gave up on it. About the only place IBM runs it is on the service processors and the hardware consoles for their mainframes, uh, I mean high end servers. And, I've heard that that OS will soon be replaced by Linux. OS/2 RIP.
As a techno prima donna, as described by Scott Adams, in the Joy of Work, I sometimes am reluctant to embrace new technology. When I had a coax attached dumb terminal, capable of four SNA sessions, I could be logged on to four separate systems and I didn't have to worry about my bloody PC locking up. Don't get me wrong. PC's are neat, but I hate to have to reboot three times a day. Us old fart mainframe programmers are just not used to that. It's inexcusable. Now, I've heard that XP is a hell of a lot more stable. Geez, I sure hope so. Maybe if Microsoft weren't a virtual monopoly and had some decent competition, they'd be able to give me a stable OS.
The reason I'm pissed now is I'm running Windows 98 (motto: You shoulda waited for Windows 2000. This release sucks) on my home PC and it is a piece of crap. I swear, some of their code must look sumpin' like this:
check reg(fu) /* check fu register */
if reg(fu)=ff /* threshold */
set counter(po)=0 /*set piss off counter to 0*/
then go to routine(fu) /* go to fu routine */
else continue /* continue normal operation */
exit
/***************fu routine************/
routine(fu)
pull date
if date=even
then go to routine(bsod)
else go to routine(lockup)
exit
/**************Blue Screen of Death Routine*****************/
routine(bsod)
here
get image(bsod) /*get bogus blue screen of death image*/
wait /*wait for user interrupt*/
go to here /*loop back to top. Eventually user will power off or give three finger salute*/
exit
/******************Lockup Routine****************/
routine(lockup)
here1
freeze /*freeze and wait for three finger salute*/
input (altctldel)
put up waiting for app menu
go to here1 /*loop back to top and randomly decide when will actually reboot or force user to power off*/
exit
And now the boot up after crash routine
routine(bootupac)
do lots of disk accesses
display Windows 98 logo
go to routine(scandisk)
exit
/**************scan disk routine**************/
routine(scandisk)
say 'Because Windows was not properly shut down one or more of your disk drives may have errors.'
say'To avoid having this happening in the future, shutdown Windows 98 using the Shutdown option'
run scandisk
pull counter(po) /*see if this is first time thru. If so, make him do it again. If not, come up ok*/
if counter(po)=0
then add 1
go to routine(fu)
else go to continue /*continue normal boot up*/
It just drives me up the wall!
I tried to install some tunneling code on my home PC that would allow me to tunnel thru my ISP and get to my systems at work. Unfortunately, it was only supported on Windows 95 and Windows 2000. Did I mention I'm running Windows 98? But what the hell? Why not try the 95 code with 98. I can always remove it right? So I did. It didn't work. I removed it. Internet Explorer now didn't work. This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down. Illegal? No! It's not illegal yet! The lawsuit is still being appealed! No problem, I'll just download the latest and greatest, IE 6, and install it. I did. Now when I fire up IE, it's not illegal anymore. Now, it just says there's a problem, takes a dump, and asks me if I want the error sent off to Microsoft. Sure, why not? So off it goes to Microsoft, where it will probably be a source of amusement. 'Ha Ha He's hosed. He's either gonna have to reinstall or get a new OS. More money for us.'
So, I decide, maybe the install of IE 6 didn't go right. So I go to reinstall and I get a message that IE 6 is broken. Would I like to have it fixed. Hell yeah! Fix that sucker. So I watch the progress and I get, all fixed and I would have to restart my computer. No problem. I'm a pro at rebooting. Do it all the time. I reboot, dial up my ISP and start up IE. 'IE has a problem and can no longer continue. Would you like to have the error information sent to Microsoft?' Sure why not. It can join the other error info that's sitting there in Redmond being ignored.
My other browser is Netscape 4.7. I went to Netscape 6.2 at work, but I'm afraid to do it here because if that gets hosed, I'm stuck. I do have a laptop I can use, but I'm a rotten typist and my blogs would take longer to write.
Now I'm thinking, maybe I'll just dump all my apps and reinstall 98 from the CD's that came with the machine. But, if I'm gonna go to all that, I may as well just go out and buy XP.
Or, I could wait for Microsoft to go over my dumps and send me a fix.
Yeah, and Cynthia McKinney is gonna shut up.
Posted by denny at July 3, 2002 01:17 PM