My spy at Barbra Streisand's mansion has managed to purloin another one of her faxes and here it is for your reading pleasure.
From: Barbra Streisand
To: Senator Jim Leebermann
Senator Leibeman, let me tell you how happy I am that you are in the race. I look forward to you being the second Jewish president. Everyone knows that Bill Clinton, besides being the first black president, was also the first Jewish president. After all, Hillary's grandmother married a Jew, and Bill married Hillary, so that has to count for something, right?
And, while, I'm on the subject of Bill, why don't the Democrats run him again? I mean, he could have done a much better job of campaigning than Al what's-his-name. And, why isn't he running in 2004? After all, he's the best president this country has ever had. I just don't understand this.
So, Jake, I hear that you are known as the 'conscious of the Senate". I don't understand what that means, John. Could you explain it to me? Does this mean that you are awake while everyone else is asleep? At least I know that Hillary is wide awake. Why don't you ask her to be your running mate? That would be great to have two Jewish candidates.
Jeremy, are you strong on the environment? I recently sent a fax to Dork Gotfart about that very issue. I confess, I was planning to support him until you tossed your yalmulke into the ring. Since you're Jewish, and I am too, I am now supporting you. I am an expert on the environment and have many interesting ideas, such as Moon power. No one has done any research on Moon power, and I don't know why.
And I want to say that we need to ban SUV's except for special people. For example, my chauffeur says he needs one so he can fit me and my large ego in the car. I keep asking him what ego means in Spanish and all he does is chuckle. Maybe you know what he is talking about. Do you know any Spanish?
So, Joshua, I look forward to supporting you. I'll always be here to provide you with helpful advice.
Gotta go. Jose is bringing the SUV around so me and my ego can go shopping.
Luv ya,
Babs