While I was on vacation, it's nice to see that Babs' fax machine wasn't. Here's her latest.
From: Barbra Streisand
To: Nancy Palooka, Home Minority Leader
Naomi: You go girl! Finallly we have a woman in a position of authority! I can hardly wait until you become Speaker of the Home. You sure do look a lot better than that Donald Hatshirt fella. And who did your surgery? He did a fantastic job! You don't look a day over 60! I was just thinking. You and Ted Kennedy would make a really cute couple.
But enough of the girl talk. I'm really worried about the upcoming war with Irack and I posted some of these concerns on my web site, myname dot com.
(editors's note: Here is the link - GOC)
1. How many body bags does the military expect to send home to America? I mean, do we even have a body bag industry anymore? Won't we have to get them from South America or somewhere like that? And won't they come from sweatshops?
2. What is the cost of the war in billions of dollars? One advisor to the president estimates the war would cost up to $200 billion, but he was quickly replaced by a more conservative successor. Golly! We should just gove peace a chance. Why don't we offer Sadman Husayne $100 billion dollars to be nice and then we wouldn't have to go to war.
3. Are there estimates for how long American troops would have to stay there? Are they remotely realistic? A lot of knowledgeable people predict a very long and expensive haul. I mean, look how long it took us in Afganastan. We've been there forever!
4. What are the costs in civilian lives and social and environmental destruction (i.e. is Saddam going to burn oil fields again)? As you know, I give a lot of money to environmental causes so that makes me very knowledgeable about the environment, so if Samdam does blow up oil wells, I know I'll have to give a lot more money for that. Maybe Ted Turner can help. He's moving to Florida so he doesn't have to pay state income taxes, so maybe he can donate the money he saves to the environment. I don't understand why he doesn't like to pay taxes. I love it! It's my duty as an American.
5. How much of this war is about oil? I'm sure if we ask real nice Samsam will sell us all the oil we need. We don't need to go to war. And anyway, we should be able to create enough energy using the sun, the wind, and the moon. WE don't need all this oil. That's what Ralph Nadir told me.
6. How much of this war is a vendetta against "the man who tried to kill my dad"? I don't understand this because no one tried to kill my dad, but Michael More told me this so it must be true. Don't you think he should go on a diet? Not my dad, Michael Moore.
Well, Norma, I have a lot of other questions, but it's time for Jim and I to get in the hot tub. I sure hope that you will answer this fax as, for some reason, Dork Gotfart, Tim Dashhole, and Jimmy Looberman haven't replied to the faxes that I sent them.
Luv ya,
Babs