Awright! I'm back! I mentioned I had the blahs last night. These were a result of having to write checks to the federal and state gummints for my taxes that both gummints are gonna waste anyway. And to you fucking anti-war assholes who want to withhold the portion of your taxes that go to the military, can I withhold the portion of my taxes that go to West Virginia? Can I withhold the portion of my taxes that supports a crack whore who only knows how to download babies that she wants me to support? Can I withhold the portion of my taxes that go to the Department if Education whose only claim to fame is desroying the public school system?
And besides having to pay my taxes, I have a big Visa bill as a result of Doofus' medical expenses. So, I couldn't afford to buy a gun for the April 15th Buy a Gun Day. Dammit! I'm really pissed about that.
But here's sumpin' that really pisses me off.
A Southwest Airlines flight attendant's use of a popular children's rhyme - "Eenie, meenie, minie, moe" - has resulted in a federal racial discrimination lawsuit against the airline filed by two African American women asking for unspecified financial damages.
Huh? What's this all about?
One of the two women suing over the allegedly offensive nursery rhyme claims hearing the rhyme caused her to be bedridden for three days and suffer from "unexplained memory gaps," according to court documents.
Yeah. The unexplained memory gaps are a result of one of her two functioning brain cells being unable to communicate with the other functioning brain cell. Let's read on.
Southwest Airline passengers Louise Sawyer and Grace Fuller allege they suffered racial discrimination on the flight in February 2001 when flight attendant Jennifer Cundiff said over the plane's intercom, "Eenie, meenie, minie, moe; pick a seat, we gotta go." The two women say they were the only passengers standing in the aisle at the time.
OK. I actually know why they think they were offended. But I'm in my fifties. Let's have a show of hands of anyone under the age of forty who has the slightest idea of what these thin skinned idiots are bitching about. Anyone? No? OK let's read on.
Sawyer and Fuller said that as soon as they heard the rhyme, they were reminded of the racist version that starts with the phrase: "Eenie, meenie, minie, moe; catch a n***** by his toe ..."
So, naturally, the flight attendant is a racist. Calling Jesse Jackson. Calling Al Sharpton. Where the fuck is Johnny Cochran? Jesus H. Christ! This is as bad as the Washington DC city council accusing the guy who carped about the niggardly budget as racist. Will you people get a fucking life?
A more modern version of the nursery rhyme substitutes the offensive phrase with the words, "Catch a tiger by the toe." The rhyme is traditionally used by children to pick someone who will be "it." According to at least one word and phrase historian, the original rhyme using the n-word dates back to about the mid-19th century.
Yeah, and I heard both of them, but if I were to have recited 'catch a nigger (Holy shit! I'm in big trouble now. I wrote nigger. That's all right. I'll just claim to be a Dimocrat. Then I can use any racial slur I want.) by his toe' my parents or any of my teachers would have knocked me into the middle of next week. Back when I went to school, teachers were allowed to discipline students and they did.
Anyway, here we have an example of people just looking to be offended. This just pisses me off. Oh yeah, I know it's all about slavery™ and the 400 Hundred Years of Oppression™ bullshit. Can't y'all just give it a rest? Do you not realize just how stupid it makes you look? Guess not.
Sawyer and Fuller, who are sisters, had also originally alleged physical and emotional distress as a result of the nursery rhyme but earlier this year, Judge Vratil dismissed that aspect of the lawsuit, narrowing the complaint to the issue of discrimination.
Ok Listen to me closely. Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. Especially when no one has even called you a fucking name!
"The court agrees with the plaintiffs that because of its history, the phrase 'eenie, meenie, minie, moe' could reasonably be viewed as objectively racist and offensive," Vratil stated in court papers. "The jury, however, must decide whether Cundiff's remark was racist or simply a benign and innocent attempt at humor."
Or if these two incredibly thin skinned and stupid women are fucking idiots! I know how I'd vote. This is one jury I would love to be on.
Cundiff, who is white, disputes that Sawyer and Fuller were the only ones standing on the crowded flight. Cundiff said she had been using the rhyme on several different flights as a humorous way to get passengers to sit. Southwest Airlines employees are known for their folksy manner and casual atmosphere.
And in an earlier statement said she had never heard the other form of the nursery rhyme.
Scott A. Wissel, the Kansas City, Mo., attorney representing Sawyer and Fuller, declined to comment for this article.
Probably because he realized just how incredibly frivolous this lawsuit is. He's probably practicing keeping a straight face while litigating.
But according to court documents, Sawyer said she was "infuriated by the [nursery rhyme] comment" and said fellow passengers giggled after it was said, making her feel alienated.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They probably realized you were a fucking idiot. But, wait. It gets better.
Fuller believes Cundiff intentionally singled out her and her sister. "It was like I was too dumb to find a seat," Fuller complained in the court papers.
I don't make this shit up folks.
Fuller, who has epilepsy, said she was so unnerved by the nursery rhyme that her hands trembled during the trip and she has experienced "unexplained memory gaps" about the flight ever since.
The two functioning brain cells not being able to communicate.
Fuller also maintains that the nursery rhyme incident caused her to be bedridden for three days because she suffered a "grand mal seizure." However, Fuller said she could not medically verify the incident because as a result of lacking health insurance, she did not seek medical help for the seizure.
Is this great or what? Now she can also blame the gummint for not providing health care.
Cundiff wrote a report about the incident as part of a Southwest Airlines' internal investigation.
"The statement I made on Flight 524 was not racist or discriminating, and I am offended that because I have white skin, suddenly I am a racist," Cundiff wrote. "Maybe those that run around pointing fingers yelling racist should stop and turn that finger around."
Oh no! It sounds like this person needs to go to Diversity Training. Doesn't she know that only white people can be racists? Look out Southwest Airlines! You're gonna be hearing from Jesse Jackson.
Southwest agreed with Cundiff and does not believe the phrase was racist or that she acted inappropriately. Even though Southwest did not ask her to stop saying the rhyme, Cundiff said she stopped because of the controversy.
Did not believe the phrase was racist? Oh man, you guys are gonna be in deep shit now. Jesse's gonna be all over you.
Wissel said he is trying to get the courts to prohibit Southwest Airlines employees from using the nursery rhyme and force the airline to provide employee training to prevent future racial controversies.
See. What did I tell ya? Here comes Diversity Awareness Training.
If I were the judge in this case I would say to the plaintiffs,"Eenie, meenie, mine, moe, get your worthless asses out the do'".
And I would say it with a straight face.