Yesterday my friends Michael and Cindy had me over to their house for dinner and I have a confesssion to make. With the cheese course we drank a (gasp!!) Burgundy. It was a 1992 and it was already paid for so we couldn't really throw it out. Let's just say we were helping to remove French wines from Michael's cellar. Yeah! That's the ticket. And I have another confession to make. I have two cases of 2000 Bordeaux sitting down at Green's. These were futures I contracted for year before last. You don't expect me to stiff a good friend like Michael do you? And Parker says these wines are as good as the 1995's and Michael told me that some of them have already doubled from my contracted price. The downside is they won't be ready to drink for another 5 years or more, but that's what wine cellars are for. And who knows? In another five years we might be friends with France again. I doubt it, but I'm pretending to be a liberal and I'm lying to myself.
After dinner we watched two shows on the History Channel about Saddam Hussein and golly, we're all wrong about him. He was a product of his childhood. His mother didn't want him so he was raised by his uncle, until the uncle had to go to prison. Young Saddam then went back to live with his mother and stepdad who physically abused him. When the uncle got out of prison, young Saddam went back to live with him. His uncle had him stealing goats for a while and gave him a gun when he was ten years old. The gun promptly murdered someone. The liberals among us will attest that it had to be the gun that did the crime and Saddam was a victim of the gun. Evil, evil gun! And if only Saddam had been given more self esteem in the Iraqi school system he would have turned out all right.
If you get a chance to see either of these programs do. They should be required watching for Tim Robbins, Susan Sarandon, and Mike Farrell. Since Mike is so anti-capital punishment the Jews hanging in the square and the firing squad execution, with Uday walking by the bodies and shooting a gun at them to ensure they were dead was a nice touch.
Some of the tortures were original. They especially liked using ceiling fans. One nice little exercise involved tying the arms to the fan, turning on the fan and holding the legs until the body twisted so much that the back broke. It is incomprehensible that such cruelty existed. How can humans do that to other humans?
Did anyone read Ann Coulter's column last week? She talks about how disappointed the liberals are about the three week quagmire. And, dammit, since nothing else seemed to go wrong in the war (no massive civilian casualties, no massive soldier casualties, no Vietnam) all they can bitch about is the looting. Ann writes:
Now the biggest mishap liberals can seize on is that some figurines from an Iraqi museum were broken – a relief to college students everywhere who have ever been forced to gaze upon Mesopotamian pottery. We're not talking about Rodins here. So the Iraqis looted. Oh well. Wars are messy. Liberalism is part of a religious disorder that demands a belief that life is controllable.
At least we finally got liberals on the record against looting. It seems the looting in Iraq compared unfavorably with the "rebellion" in Los Angeles after the Rodney King verdict. When "rebels" in Los Angeles began looting, liberals said it was a sign of frustration – they were poor and hungry. As someone noted at the time, apparently they were thirsty as well, since they hit a lot of liquor stores. Meanwhile, the Iraqis were pretty careful about targeting the precise source of their oppression. Their looting concentrated on Saddam's palace, official government buildings – and the French cultural center.
Much wailing and gnashing of teeth (Fortunately, no rending of garments. There are some people I definitely do not want to see naked.) about all the destroyed antiquities. Oh the horror! The dastardly American military did not protect the museums! But now, I came across this article in Monday's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation.
Baghdad, Iraq --- The vast majority of the Iraqi trove of antiquities feared stolen or broken have been found inside the National Museum in Baghdad, according to American investigators who compiled an inventory over the weekend of the ransacked galleries.
A total of 38 pieces, not tens of thousands, are now believed to be missing. Among them is a single display of Babylonian cuneiform tablets that accounts for nine missing items.
The single most valuable missing piece is the Vase of Warka, a white limestone bowl dating from 3000 B.C.
Huh? How can this be? 38 pieces? Is that all? Holy shit! What are the liberals gonna bitch about now? Next thing you know, we're gonna find documentation that there are links between Saddam Hussein and al Qaeda. What? We have? I'm shocked! Shocked I say! Well, I guess we can always fall back on WMD's and, of course, the liberal mantra, "where is Osama bin Laden?" Barney doesn't like to hear me say this, but if we haven't seen hide nor hair of the asshole, it makes me think he's on the run. And if he's on the run, he's scared shitless. How come no videotapes?
And for those of you wanting to hear updates on our German project at TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name), I missed last week's conference call because I was sick. Sometimes being sick is a blessing. And this week's conference call, which I didn't even realize was scheduled, was canceled. We essentially have two proposals on the table: one is for $1.5 million per year and the other is for $1.75 million a year, and, according to my team lead, the project manager pretty much told 'em to pick one or none. What? Some negotiating skills? What's going on here? I stay home from work one day and the project manager grows a set of balls! What's up with that?
And finally, I have joined the Slutertarian Party and I am a Party official. I am officially the Secretary For Keeping Out Obnoxious Fktards (SECFKOFF). I realize I'm not doing a very good job by allowing barney to stay (and yes, barney, I just sank to your level), but I just love reading xCavTrooper bitchslap him. The only person who thinks barney is winning is barney. But then, the things that liberals do best is lie to themselves.