The latest Carnival of the Vanities is up at Common Sense and Wonder and I'm in it. I'm flattered as this is the second time.
I was in last week when Clubbeaux compiled it and I neglected to link him. I aplogize. I'm getting old. But he should be getting lots of hits this week with Bill Whittle and Den Beste, uh, disagreeing with him.
Imitation is the highest form of flattery.
Last night's rant was inspired by Andrea Harris. I will be posting Rules for Trolls shortly. I will also be posting FAQ's.
Tonight's post is in the style of Acidman. He's labeled some of his stuff crap. I guess I enjoy reading crap.
If someone asked me if I had two bloggers to sit down and have a few beers with, they would be Acidman and Kim du Toit. Those two bastards would drink me under the table.
I'm on Kim du Toit's blogroll. I have never met him personally but we have corresponded. I am honored to have him as a friend. I would hate to have him as an enemy. I wouldn't mess with his wife, Connie, either. I think she's cool. One day I shall meet both of them in person. And yes Kim, you grouchy old bastard, I will be able to get up the stairs into your second floor apartment.
Rachel Lucas and I started blogging about the same time. I've been doing this a little over a year. Counting my blogspot domain, I have had about 45,000 hits. She's had a gazillion. She writes better than I; she's smarter than I; and she owns guns. I am honored to have her as a friend. I would really hate to have her as an enemy.
I love Kate. I joined her Slutertarian Party. I read her stuff. I wish she'd read mine, but I'm not gonna beg.
That brings up links. I am flattered when people link to me. If, however, someone delinks me, I don't really care. This whole linking/delinking stuff is a pile of crap. I write this blog for me. If I receive an e-mail saying I've just been delinked, I'm gonna go to my pantry and open up a big old can of I don't give a flying fuck.
How come I can't think up funny stuff like this?
My sister and my friend Brian hate it when I use fuck.
My sis' neighbor likes it when I use the word fuck.
I love it when people call Addison a cracker. Heh. Heh. Heh. I think Addison does too.
I wish Toren Smith would start blogging again.
I hate the French. If you have a problem with that I still have that can of I don't give a flying fuck open.
I love it when people call my sis' neighbor a white racist bigot. Heh. Heh. Heh. I think he does too.
I think Bill Clinton is a scumbag. Wait a minute. I know Bill Clinton is a scumbag.
I think Hillary Clinton is more of a man than Bill Clinton. I don't want to see the proof.
I think Tom Dasshole is a dwarf.
The only campaign finance law I believe in is full disclosure.
I believe all gun control laws are unconstitutional except the ones prohibiting felons from owning guns. If I want an assault rifle, I don't want it to blow away Bambi. I want it to blow away the sonuvabitch who's breaking into my home.
I am in love with Linda Cardinelli. Scooby-freaking-doo!
If you think I have a foul mouth, just remember that profanity is the crutch of the inarticulate motherfucker.
If you plan on insulting me, please try to find something that will amuse me. Calling me a Nazi, a racist, a bigot, or simply stupid lacks originality. I will ridicule you. If you think this is unfair see This Is My Blog
President Bush is informed that a meteor will strike Paris at 1130 PM unless we launch a missile to destroy it. He now has an incredibly difficult decision to make. Should he stay up and watch the destruction of Paris live or should he tape it and watch it the next day?
Molly Ivins is an idiot. Godammit! Misha got to this before I could.
My sister makes the best apple pie in the world. She's moving to Asheville, North Carolina. Three hours away! Yummmy!
Last minute addition. Why can't I think up shit like this?
If you are a blogger and you want people to read your shit, get the fuck off Blogspot. I don't want to wait two hours for your blog to load. And the permalinks are usually permafucked! (Why can't I think of shit like that? Did Kate say that? I think so. I gotta start writing this shit down.) Neither does anyone else unless you write really well. We can't all be Tim Blair. Yeah, I sound like a reformed hooker since I spent 6 months on Blogspot myself. My hosting service is $11/month and I know someone who will set you up on Movable Type for a fee.
Gotta go read what the smart people are writing and work on my FAQ post. See ya tomorrow.