I'm half in the bag. Actually, more than half in the bag. In honor of the lovely Kate, I knocked down a couple of Stoly's on the rocks and half a bottle of wine, so I'm in no condition to write anything rational, so I thought I would share an e-mail I got in response to my post on taxes last week.
I have written many times about just how hard it is to fail in this country, and I got an e-mail from someone who took all the steps that I suggested, but still had problems. One step I did not include was step 4: Never give up! So, here is Serenity's story:
I had posted a few days ago that under Bill (overspending) Clinton, while going to school--to better educate myself--I became homeless.
I followed all the steps. I graduated high school, I joined the military to serve my country, make a difference and the bonus was, earn money for college. I got out and went to college. While in college--18 credit semesters--(4 classes a day)--I had three part time jobs and rode the bus an average of 4 hours a day. Lord knows I was not being lazy and I was doing my damndest to make my future a better one.
Despite all my efforts, I ended up homeless. I didn't overspend. I didn't have credit cards. I didn't go out drinking and I didn't do drugs. (God, I didn't have time to become a substance abuser!) (that was sarcasm--drugs bad.) I didn't have cable, I had BASIC phone and I wore sweaters in the winter instead of turning up the heat. I survived off Top Ramen (oh God if I never have another bowl of that it will be too soon) and I didn't even have pets. My money that I earned went towards rent, the phone, the heat, my 10 assorted Top Ramens for $2, sometimes I might splurge and buy milk, bus pass, lab costs, books, school supplies, registration, tuition, etc.
So what went wrong? Jeez, I'm doing everything right! Why the hell am I sleeping on someone's floor with a bag of 3 days' worth of clothes and the rest of my stuff locked up in storage? What the hell happened?!?!
You know what? What was the point in asking that question at the time? There was no time to wallow around, pissing and moaning, I needed to get myself a place to live and find a better job---all the while, still attending my classes. (at that particular time it was Economics 102, Psychology 101, American Literature, and English 102---co-ordinated....oh God kill me if I ever do something like THAT again!)
So what I did was work even harder. In three weeks, I found myself a new place to live, convinced them that I was trustworthy, please give me a break--don't make me pay last month's rent. I also convinced them to allow me to pay deposit over three months. Then I went and found a FULL TIME job in addition to my 3 part time jobs and full time school. I explained the situation to my instructor's and they cut me slack...minimal...VERY minimal...but they cut me some slack.
What did this teach me? This taught me that if you are determined to make it, if you are determined to have a better life and not become a statistic...cause that's the easy way out...you can succeed. If you work your ass off, you ask for help, you will find that when those others see how HARD you are working to improve the situation, they are willing to bend the rules. It's all about hard work, discipline and some inconvenience. The only exception was when I went to see if I could qualify for food stamps. Nope. As a student, I was apparently too rich. LMAO! Now THAT is funny. The system didn't work for someone who genuinely needed the help but it sure worked for those lazy, fat, baby machines out in the waiting area. (Might I also add that my full time job I landed was Undercover Store Security. I saw more than I ever want to see again. I saw people in the nicest clothes, driving some NICE, tricked out cars...buying their groceries with food stamps. They were eating Steaks and Doritos while I had Top Ramen. Then they would take their groceries out to the car--come back in and buy alcohol and cigarettes off the change they just received. (this was back in early 90's). And there I was, full time student, 4 jobs---basically starving cause I was too rich for food stamps.)
Anyway-this was by no means an easy time in my life but I made it. I succeeded! I worked my ASS off and I made it! There is absolutely no reason, whatsoever that someone else can't make it. NONE!
I was homeless. I was literally starving. (lost 30 pounds in two months....yes, starving.) I could have thrown in the towel, abandoned everything and insisted the government support me while I bitched and whined about my status. The difference between me and someone who leeches, is pride. I did not serve my country to become a leech. I did not suffer through all those exams and finals to become a leech. I had pride in myself and my country. And I'm one hell of a stubborn and determined girl. I decided to take all that energy I could have used to scream about how the, "man was trying to keep me down", to get myself back up.
I look back on those times with mixed feelings. Sometimes it's hurtful but most of the time what I feel is powerful. I made it from the trenches and I'm out on top because I CHOSE to be on top.
You are right. There is rarely an excuse for poverty in this country. When it does happen--there is no excuse for it to remain that way.
Serenity
All I can say about that is, "Can I hear an amen?" Go visit her site.
Posted by denny at May 31, 2003 10:33 PM