But first.
The future of the country is in good hands.
And to add to my confidence we have an op-ed in Tuesday's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation by Jennifer Horton who is a student at LaGrange College.
'Matrix' money could be put to better use
A recent newspaper article about the making of "The Matrix Reloaded" captured my attention. It wasn't the discussion about elaborate special effects or the intense physical effort by the actors that grabbed my eye, but the immense amount of money put into a two-hour diversion for the masses.
I just bet that Jennifer thinks that money could have been spent for better things than 'a two-hour diversion for the masses'.
The second episode of a trilogy, "The Matrix Reloaded" cost more than $150 million to create. Once the final episode is finished, the "Matrix" movies will have required more than $370 million.
So what's your point, Jennifer?
At risk of stating the obvious, that is a lot of money. I realize that many other producers spend just as much or more to bring their ideas to the screen; my intention is not to attack a particular movie, but simply to reveal how extravagant the entertainment industry can be.
Yes, but the entertainment industry is so caring.
Now, I'm not some anti-entertainment prude; I enjoy watching a well-made movie as much as the next person, but it does disturb me to see so much money invested in crashing a few cars just right when there are children all over the world who go to bed hungry, impoverished Africans without clean water and a multitude of people in Third-World countries suffering from disease.
Omigawd! We gotta do it for the Children™.
The causes in need of our attention are overwhelming. We are bombarded daily with requests for money -- we get letters in the mail and calls during dinner, and we see emotional stories in the paper that tug at our hearts.
I got news for you Jennifer. Third World poverty does not touch at my heart since most of it, just like poverty in this country, is self inflicted. Most of the money we send to those countries does not go to the population, but to the corrupt leaders. And don't get me started on Africa. Zimbabwe, which used to be a prosperous country, is now a basket case. Should I feel sorry for it? South Africa, in ten years, will probably be just as bad. That $15 billion we're gonna give to Africa for AIDS, is probably gonna be flushed right down the African cesspool.
But the problems are so many and we have so little time. Many individuals feel that the problems are beyond our ability to help. With the economy as it is, and with so many people out of work, many feel it is all they can do simply to keep their own family afloat. What could we possibly do to make a difference?
Try to keep people like you from voting.
The answer is plenty. Imagine raising $151.3 million in just three days for an important cause. Individuals across the country did just that a few weekends ago; between a Friday and Sunday they made their voices heard loud and clear -- at the box office. Atlanta alone brought in more than $2.58 million in movie revenue during those three days. Rather than going to see "The Matrix Reloaded," "Daddy Day Care," "Down with Love" or one of the other many movies playing, people could instead donate their money to charity and make a huge impact.
GMAFB!
Or, to avoid any unnecessary movie withdrawal symptoms, people could attend the box office hits and donate a few dollars to the organization of their choice.
A mere $25 could immunize a child, provide him with clothes or provide electricity to his home. If the environment is more of a concern to you, that same $25 could "adopt" an acre of land or reforest a fourth of it. You could also adopt the endangered animal of your choice.
I think she must be auditioning to take Sally Sruthers' job.
The options don't end there; for slightly more money, you could send a child to school for a year, buy a family a goat or adopt a child whose parents were lost to AIDS.
Now I know it. She is going after Sally Struthers' job. I wonder if she can get that pathetic whine in her voice like Sally does?
Considering the fact that "The Matrix Reloaded" crew was able to build its own two-mile loop of freeway, complete with exit signs, an overpass and an on ramp, surely some of the film's moviegoers can respond with their own version of construction -- of ideals, charity and compassion. At a cost of $300,000 per quarter-mile, the freeway construction funds could have instead paid for new schools in developing countries, immunizing children, giving families two oxen and a plow, providing homeless children with clothes, wells to supply clean water or reforesting thousands of acres.
Or, if administered by the UN, support countless bureaucrats in luxury. Or, go into a corrupt leader's Swiss bank account.
So the next time you head out to the movies, donate a few dollars to an important cause. That way, when you're sitting in the theater, hand in a bucket of buttered popcorn, eyes glued to the screen, you can rest easy and lose yourself in the state-of-the-art surround sound because you know you've done your small part to offset all the useless two-mile-loop freeways in the world.
What Jennifer, in all of her compassionate wisdom, fails to realize is the making of the movie provided jobs. Besides the overpaid actors, there were writers, extras, stunt people, and all the background people whose names you see rolling at the end of the movie. Also, since many movies are made in other countries, there is a boost to the economies of said countries. The local movie houses employ people who get paid from the profits the movie makes. The movie companies have to pay taxes on the money they make. The millions that Jennifer wants to give away, works its way through the economy and is spent on goods and services that benefits our economy.
When I read bullshit like Jennifer's I think of the story about W. C. Fields on his deathbed (May not be true, but it is in character):
His secretary asked him, "Mr. Fields, now that you are close to dying, what are you going to do with your money?'
"Ya know all those starving people in China?"
"Yes."
"Fuck 'em!"
And until the Third World gets its act together, that's how I feel.
Fuck 'em!