Nothing original tonight.
Woo Hoo! I beat Neal Boortz! Last night I took Jennifer to task for her simplistic thinking that the money used to make The Matrix films could be better spent on the Third World. I neglected to mention that the money spent on her education should have probably been sent to the Third World also since it was wasted on her. In his Nealz Nuze for June 11, he wrote a letter to Jennifer. Since he is a highly paid professional and I'm a rank amateur, he did a much better job than I did.
Here is an excerpt from his letter:
First, I would require your attendance at a screening of “The Matrix Reloaded.” You would have to sit through the entire move … including the credits. After the movie I want you to write the producers and ask for a print-out of those credits. Every name. Every single one. Each camera operator, lens cleaner, grip, dolly grip, electrician, driver, cook, makeup artist, sound engineer, public relations assistant, actor, stand-in, stunt man, writer, film editor, model maker, best boy, caterer, carpenter, composer, musician, special effects technician, choreographer, and every other person who’s name crawls across the screen.
These, Jennifer, are the people who earn their livings making movies like this. Their very livelihoods depend on the people who invest in these productions, and the people who produce them. So, here’s what I would like for you to do. Your assignment is to write a letter to each and one of the people who’s names you find on those credits. You will tell them why the money that they earned working on this movie should have been spent instead on buying goats for Africans and cleaning up a water supply in South America. Then you will write letters to the families of all of those people telling them why their husband, wife, mother or father shouldn’t have earned those Matrix paychecks. After all, why should they be allowed to work for a living while children are hungry and there’s acre without trees in the rainforest?
Read the whole thing.
I finally got out of the house for the first time since the surgery! Cindy came by and we went to a Mexican restaurant.
Tomorrow, we go see the surgeon so he can hem and haw over my hand.
Ralph Gizzip sent me a couple of links:
WWHD What Would Hillary Do?
Hillary's interview with Barbara Walters What she said. What she meant. I liked the following:
What she said: "He is like a force of nature... But I also didn't want just to follow along in his wake."
What she meant: "He is a penis with a hillbilly standing behind it."
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
And finally, two things just for Acidman:
First. This picture was sent to me by John especially for Acidman.
Second. Sent to me by one of my co-workers.
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and
apes?
5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad
girls live.
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,"Where's the self-help
section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with
soap?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is
it considered a hostage situation?
10. Is there another word for synonym?
11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered
plant?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
clean them?
16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
remain
silent?
19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
(Somebody please explain THIS ONE to me. I know there's a logical
explanation, but it escapes me)
20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become
disoriented?
34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
And, Acidman, keep on killin' them snakes. We'd hate to lose ya.
Posted by denny at June 11, 2003 10:01 PM