Dan sent me another dog picture for Acidman.
Is that a dog or a rumpled up pillow?
I think I'm gonna break down and cry. In Saturday's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation they had this piece of shit about Max Cleland, ex-Senator from Georgia.
Seven months later, Max Cleland can finally talk about it.
Sniff. Sniff. Snuffle. Snuffle. Hold on. It's coming.
The former U.S. senator from Georgia likened his stunning re-election defeat to the moment in Vietnam when a grenade explosion ripped away his legs and part of an arm.
Oh waaaaahhhhhh! Losing an election is just like having two legs and an arm blown off. Damn! Who woulda thunk it could have been that traumatic? Has he been in the hospital for the past seven months recuperating?
"It was like the trauma of being suddenly and traumatically blown up, and I in effect relived all that hell of 35 years ago," Cleland said in an exclusive interview from his new office at Washington's American University. "It's been very tough to recover."
Jesus H. Christ! Cry me a fucking river! You lost a fucking election. Get over it.
What follows is a bunch of bullshit about him getting his life back together after the trauma of losing an election. And then he says this:
"I guess I have the freedom to say to my young students what I really think," Cleland said, "about trying to be a leader in Washington, the agonies and ecstasies of it, and probably be more honest with them than I ever could be on the floor of the Senate, because you always had an eye toward re-election, you always had an eye toward not giving your opponent a chance to come after you."
You always had an eye toward running as a conservative and governing as a liberal. He didn't do a very good job of that. Y'see, old Max was a Tommy
Dasshole liberal most of his term. Unfortunately for him, Georgia is a conservative state. We flatass didn't like his voting record. Most southern Dimocrats at least try to vote conservative the year prior to the election. Not Max. He was a liberal all the way. That's why he lost.
With a snicker, he added, "In my case, it turned out it didn't matter what I said or what I did with my vote. The president came after me, anyway," he said, referring to President Bush's five trips to Georgia to boost Chambliss' campaign
Pointing out his liberal voting record didn't hurt either.
The lowest moment for Cleland came when Chambliss aired a TV spot that attacked his voting record on homeland security issues and featured photos of Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein.
Max, like most of the Dimocrats, was more interested in union jobs than homeland security. Chambliss pointed that out. Max's voting record confirmed it.
Cue the violins.
Cleland said at the time he was personally hurt by the ad, and during the interview this week he remained bitter.
"The charge that somehow I was unpatriotic, when really I had helped write the law on the homeland security legislation, all those lies that occurred in the campaign --- that was a trauma that was unexpected for me," he said. "I thought I had done a good job for the people of Georgia. I thought they knew me as someone who had served and sacrificed for the country, as someone who was willing to defend the country 35 years ago. . . . But the White House and the media image makers turned me into some kind of villain."
Hey Max. Did you know that John Kerry served in Viet Nam? I'm sick of hearing about this Viet Nam shit. We put an end to that crap when we elected a draft dodger in 1992 and again in 1996. Military service doesn't matter anymore. It was your party that made it moot, so shut the fuck up about serving your country 35 years ago since you decided to support a fucking draft dodger. By the way, I did too and a lot of it was in Viet Nam, so don't throw any Viet Nam bullshit at me. I voted against the fucking draft dodger twice. I cried in 1992 when we elected the asshole.
"Max Cleland's voting record was out of touch with Georgians and they overwhelmingly chose Saxby Chambliss to be their next United States senator," said a statement issued by Chambliss' press office. "Sen. Chambliss continues to be a voice for all Georgians fighting for tax relief and job creation, providing leadership on vital homeland security issues, fighting for our military, their families and our veterans, working to end Democrat obstructionism of judicial nominees and fighting for a prescription benefit and Medicare reform for our seniors."
Exactly. "Max cleland's voting record was out of touch with Georgians".
Chambliss' relatively easy victory on election day came as a shock, Cleland's assistants said.
"Max Cleland's voting record was out of touch with Georgians".
"I think about what his parents were thinking," Iler said. "They were the ones who were there when their son came home with two-thirds of his body blown away. And then to see the ugly political animals come out. And to beat this man who I know worked 10 to 14 hours a day. He wasn't a member of that Tuesday-to-Thursday club, OK?"
GMAFB! Like the Dimocrats don't play dirty. Over the past ten years they have been the masters of the politics of personal destruction. And anyway, all the Republicans did was showcase Max's voting record. That's not playing dirty. The truth can sometimes hurt.
"It bothers me terribly that we're paying a price every day, every week, and we still don't know why we fought the war," said Cleland, who has visited hospitals to offer encouragement to soldiers who lost limbs in the conflict. "Was it the intelligence community that screwed up? Was it the White House that politicized the intelligence information? We need a full accounting to the American people."
Howza 'bout we start with all the Dimocrats from Bill Clinton and Tommy Dasshole on down who agonized over Saddam's WMD's in 1998?
Anyway, I just can't type anymore 'cause I feel so bad about Max.
Excuse me while I go have a good cry.