But first, Cute Cat for Pumpman Week continues.
Barbra Streisand's cat. He is saying "I am so ashamed to have to live with such a dumb bitch!"
From my spy at Babs' mansion here is the latest output from her amazing fax machine.
To: Bill Clinton
From: Barbra Streisand
Dear Bill!
I love you! I adore you! I worship you! I would go down on my knees for you! I wish you were still president. If you ever decide to dump your wife Helen, I'd dump Jim in an instant and would happily marry you.
I see our selected, not elected, president went to Africa last week. You'd think he would want to take along our first black president. And let me tell you, if it weren't for your kinky hair, no one would ever know you were part African-American, unless you're, well, how do I say this, endowed below the waist like I hear black men are.
How's your daughter Shirley doing? I hear she got a high paying job a while back. She must really be smart. I'm glad that she got her hair straightened. She looks less black that way. Now if only she would get a nose job so she would look less Jewish. She must of gotten the nose from Hillary's Jewish step-grandfather.
I'm also disappointed that our fictional president (I just love Mickey Moore, even though he was rude to me when I called him on the phone) didn't take along any prominent African-Americans like Queasy Fumigate, Sheila Jackson Brown, Carol Mostly Brown (She's running for president and I hear she made many trips to Africa and is friends with many African leaders.), Earl Sharpman (Also running for president), James Bond (head of the NAACP), Charlie Ringer (from Harlem), Colonel Owens, and, of course, Reverend Jesse Johnson.
And he also skipped the NAACP Convention. Well, they'll show him! None of them will vote for him in the next election. I see my main man, Jimmie Looberman, along with Dirk Gotfart and Dennis Kuchinwich (who's he?) finally showed up at the NAACP convention. I'm planning on voting for Jimmie, he being Jewish and all. I mean, now that we've had an African-American for president, don't you think it's time to have a Jew?
And since I strongly believe in affirmative action, I've suggested to many other prominent Democrats that we should give Earl Sharpman and Carol Mostly Brown 400 additional delegates to the Democratic Convention to level the playing field. What do you think of that?
Well, gotta go. Jim and I are hopping in the SUV and going to court to sue that nosey bastard who took pictures of my house.
Luv ya (And I REALLY mean that with all my heart),
Babs