Don't know who sent this one.
When I got home from work, I didn't know what to write about and damned if I didn't open the editorial page of the Atlantal Urinal and Constipation and there I found Molly Ivin's latest column. The AJC doesn't put her column on their web page (Do you blame 'em?) So I have to go find it somewhere else.
The title was The Answer my Friend ... as in Blowing in the Wind, which Molly does real well.
When in the midst of a Blame Typhoon, with charges and countercharges being hurled in all directions, I find it most useful to consult those two polar stars of utter wrongheadedness, Tom DeLay and The Wall Street Journal's editorial page.
As opposed to Molly Ivins and the New York Times Editorial Page. Let's not forget Jayson Blair and the New York Times motto: All the news that fits our views.
Both are good for a chuckle, and both are perfect weather vanes for the wrong direction.
Yep! Molly Ivins and the New York Times Editorial Page. New motto: All the news that's fit to distort.
When in doubt,
Disagree with Molly.
Disagree with DeLay
Disagree with the New York Times.
And you'll be OK.
Yep!
The Journal, in addition to meretricious arguments,
Whoa! Gotta get the dictionary out on this one. meretricious - 1. Of, pertaining to, characteristic, or being a prostitute. 2. alluring by false show; gaudily, and deceitfully ornamental.
I don't know Molly. This sounds more like the New York Times to me. See Blair, Jayson.
of pertavast
Gotta get me a new dictionary. Mine doesn't have pertavast in it. Who the fuck does she think she is? William F. Buckley?
leaps over relevant stretches of fact and history,
Sounds like Jayson Blair to me.
and an awesome ability to bend any reality to its preconceived ideological ends, also offers that touch of je ne sais quoi, that ludicrous dogmatism that never fails to charm.
Yep! She has to be talking about the New York Times.
A column about energy politics by George Mellon in Tuesday's Journal contained just the right mix of irrelevant argument
Something that Molly knows about since it is her specialty.
(he's very upset that a bunch of nervous nellies want to shut down the Indian Point nuclear plant, as though this had anything to do with the frail, undercapitalized transmission grid that caused the blackout earlier this month);
One of the reasons the transmission grid was overloaded was because of the inadequate generating capacity in the Northeast, but let's not let facts interfere with some good old fingerpointing and environmental bullshit. And let's shut down all the nuclear plants. Will that make you happy you harpy? I just wish that we could figger out a way to only drop power to the environazis' houses everytime we had a blackout.
expedient forgetfulness (uh, actually, OPEC had quite a bit to do with the gasoline crunch of the 1970s); and perfectly delightful nuttiness.
I think that pretty much describes where this column is going.
"Millions of Naderites are trying to peddle windmill farms, even though these inefficient H.G. Wells monsters are already destroying the scenic beauty of places like Palm Springs and the Dutch coast." (Scenic beauties of the Dutch coast?)
Here's an idea. Why don't we put one in front of Molly's mouth? That oughta generate a lot of electricity. And we could put one on Barbra Streisand's estate. Shit! Let's just put 'em up in Hollywood. That would pretty much solve all of our energy problems.
When Mellon goes on the aesthetic offensive against unsightly windmills -- as compared to the ever-so-sightly coal-fired plant, oil refinery and nuclear power catastrophe-in-waiting -- we must snap to attention.
I'm all for Windmills in the Northeast. Guess who's against them?
Veteran newsman Walter Cronkite doesn't want Gordon's wind farm here either. Cronkite likes to sail on Nantucket Sound. He did a commercial for a group that's fighting the wind farm. In it, he says, "Our natural treasures should be off limits to industrialization and Nantucket Sound is one of those treasures."
In other words. Not in My Backyard! But back to Molly.
As for the aesthetics of windmills, most people find them fascinating to watch.
Not Walter Cronkite and, by golly, he used to be the most trusted man in America.
Cars pull over by the highway in West Texas so the kids can watch the things go round and round.
Yep! But golly gee, they're just a bunch of dumb ol' Texans. They like to watch grass grow and paint dry. They're not sophisticated like them people up there in Nantucket. Which brings to mind a limerick.
There was a young man from Nantucket
Whose ...
Aw y'all have heard that one before.
The only trouble with the wind farm out by Palm Springs is that the fools built it in a bird flyway, which could easily have been avoided.
Now who do you think runs California? Last I checked it was Dimocrats. Is Molly calling Dimocrats "fools"? It just shows that even a blind squirrel can find an acorn once in a while.
Clean, cheap, endless energy -- no radioactive waste, no air pollution, no strip mining, no oil spills and no gas pipeline explosions.
Sounds like a great idea to me. Let's put up a bunch of 'em in Nantucket Sound.
Yet the Bush administration wants to spend billions subsidizing coal, oil, gas and nuclear power, and leave both wind and solar technology -- with all their advantages, including cost -- unsubsidized and unhelped. Now is that a stupid policy or what?
Ask Walter Cronkite.
Every energy source in this country has been vastly subsidized, including hydropower by government-built dams. If wind power were subsidized at a fraction of what we already spend with tax breaks, loopholes and outright corporate welfare for polluting and destructive energy sources, it would already be the cheapest, not to mention the cleanest, energy source available.
Windpower is great except it seems the only place we can put windmills is in Texas. No one else seems to want them. And Molly obviously hasn't been to any of the windmill farms outside of San Francisco. Everytime I've driven by there, most of them are not being used. Must be the birds. And the gummint is throwing money at solar power. Unfortunately, it is hard to generate a lot of power via solar. But, gas, oil, hydro, and nuclear works today. And we need the energy today. See blackout, Northeast.
And why do we have such dumb, damaging, self-destructive energy policies? Do you think it has anything to do with corporate campaign contributions? Do you think it has any connection to the fact that Dick Cheney wrote the National Energy Plan? (In secret, with the advice of oil, gas and coal executives and lobbyists.) A couple of Ken Lay's suggestions in his famous memo to Cheney were incorporated word for word in the Cheney plan.
Oh shit! It's all about the ooiiillll!
As for the always egregious Tom DeLay, the Exterminator, two years ago he blocked a program of loan guarantees for upgrades to the transmission system. Said he of the Democratic proposal, "It's pure demagoguery." The first thing he did when the lights went out was to blame the Democrats, of course.
That's because the current energy bill in Congress, that does address upgrading the transmission grid is being held up by the Dimocrats.
Now, according to The New York Times,
And we know we can always depend on the veracity of the New York Times.
the Republicans are refusing again to pass stand-alone transmission grid improvements.
When the Dimocrats refuse to pass stand-alone legislation it's good politics. When the Republicans do it it's evil.
They insist on including the rest of the Cheney rip-and-run plan, including drilling for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and other economically marginal and environmentally disastrous schemes.
Do y'all remember what an economic disaster the Alaska pipeline was gonna be? The caribou herds love it. Even though Alaskans overwhelmingly want drilling, the treehuggers, who have never been to Alaska, are against it.
They are on the wrong side of history, the wrong side of economics, the wrong side of technology,
Wait a minute! If you want to talk about technology which party was it that filed an antitrust lawsuit against IBM? Hint. It wasn't the Republicans. Which party filed an antitrust lawsuit against Microsoft? Hint. It wasn't the Republicans. Which party always wants to tax the crap out of business, which takes dollars that could be used for research and development and develop new technolgies? Hint. It isn't the Republicans. Which party has so many laws and regulations that stifle innovation and small businesses? Hint. It's not the Republicans.
the wrong side of progress and the wrong side of the environment.
Fuck the environment. I am really getting sick of the environazis. Most of their bullshit is junk science anyway. If they're so concerned, have 'em move back to nature and use candles for light. Have 'em turn off their air conditioners. Have 'em wash their clothes by hand. Have 'em hang up their clothes to dry. Have 'em sell their cars and use mass transit. When they start doing all that shit, then they can lecture the rest of us, those hypocritical bastards!
These free-market fundamentalists are the people who regularly remind us that being in the buggy-whip business after the automobile was invented was a no-hoper.
As opposed to the environmental Luddites who want us to return to better days when we respected nature and were at one with the planet. Ahhh! The halcyon days of yesteryear when the noble Indians roamed the plains hunting buffalo. Those were the days.
Here Molly. Here's some buffalo hide and a bow and arrow. Have at it.
Posted by denny at August 25, 2003 09:30 PM Category: Molly Ivins Fisks