Bob sent me a fan letter and included this link to Molly Ivins' latest spewing of bullshit. This column also appeared in Monday's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation. What's the old hag pissed off about now?
There is something faintly risible about the American habit of thinking we can fix problems through better public relations.
It worked for Clinton didn't it?
We seem to think a positive mental attitude and high approval ratings can solve anything from shingles to famine.
Impeachment, sexual harassment, rape allegations, perjury.
Global warming? Spin that puppy right out of existence.
Junk science. No tangible proof. Spin that global warming puppy right into existence.
Economy bad?
7.2% growth rate in the third quarter? Go ahead Molly spin that puppy right out of existence.
Send the Treasury secretary out to predict the creation of 200,000 new jobs a month -- that'll make everybody feel better.
Job creation is the last thing that occurs during a recovery. What are you and the rest of the nattering nabobs gonna bitch about when job creation does occur?
We have public relations firms that specialize in business disasters.
Socialism works. Socialized medicine will work. Hillary Clinton cares. Bill Clinton feels our pain. Al Sharpton isn't a racist. Barbra Streisand has a brain. Howard Dean isn't a socialist. John Kerry, who served in Viet Nam, was against the war, but voted for the war becaue he was against the war and that's why he voted for it, but if he could jump in the Wayback machine, he would vote against the war but he does support our troops. Dick Gephardt's campaign will not be dead after New Hampshire. Bringing back Phil Donahue was a good idea.
Does one of your products turn out to kill people? Have you been putting asbestos in people's homes for years? Are you a notorious polluter?
Have you been getting blowjobs by an airhead intern? Do you have a history of groping women? Has someone accused you of rape?
What you need is a good PR firm -- yes, my friends, a multimillion-dollar campaign to convince people that, despite your current problems, your firm is warm and cuddly, cares about the environment and supports the Boy Scouts.
I feel your breasts pain.
I am told that in Hollywood, there are PR people who specialize in repairing the damage to the reputations of movie stars who get nasty divorces and otherwise misbehave.
And there was a couple in Hollywood who worked for Clinton. They even made a little piece of crap for the 1992 Dimocrat Convention called The White Trash Pervert Man From Hope.
Despite what I am sure are the invaluable services of the many PR people of our nation, sometimes it is actually smarter to attack the problem itself than the public relations surrounding it. I suspect that's where we are with the situation in Iraq.
Hey it worked for Clinton. Hire a bunch of private detectives to dig up dirt on all the women associated with good ol' Bill. Have James Carville talk about dragging $20 bills through trailer parks. Molly, you're giving us a pretty good description of the Clinton modus operandi. How come you didn't write this column then?
have enjoyed the administration's PR offensive. The Bush White House's touching efforts to try to get the media to report that the glass is half-full rather than half-empty have yielded several nuggets of black comedy.
What? That the war has been more successful than you liberals desired? That more people haven't been killed? That we haven't cut and run like we did after Beirut and Somalia? And before any trolls say that it was Reagan that pulled us out of Beirut, I agree. I think he fucked up and we should have sent a few cruise missiles into the Beka'a Valley.
George Nethercutt, a Republican congressman from Washington state, spent four days in Iraq and told an audience at home: "The story of what we've done in Iraq is remarkable. It is a better and more important story than losing a couple of soldiers every day."
Isn't it amazing that in a column on PR and spin that Molly would give us a fine example of sumpin' right out of the Maureen Dowd style book? The exact quote went "it's a bigger and better and more important story than losing a couple of soldiers every day which, which heaven forbid is awful" Didja notice how Molly inserted a period and left out the highlighted text. And this in a column about spin?
Let's try our own take. Molly Ivins visited a nursing home and said that "it is sad that I had to see how old folks become senile and I had to see that one old women look like she had become a washed up old hag."
Major oops. "Let's ignore the dead soldiers" is not going to improve anything.
No one is ignoring the dead soldiers Molly. That's what happens in war: soldiers die. Should we cut and run like all the Dimocrats running for president want to do? Bin Laden said that he knew America could be defeated after we turned tail and ran out of Somalia. How does it feel to support bin Laden, you worthless dried up old hag?
The administration's efforts to spin the results of the conference in Madrid were equally unimpressive. Of the touted $18 billion pledged, only $4 billion is in grants -- the rest is loans. They want it back.
And I bet you and your liberal friends are happy about that aren't you? It's just like all you fucking liberals trying to spin the fact that the United Nations is an effective organization or the Palestinians want peace. Kiss my crippled ass!
President Bush has been touting the cheerful reports brought back by congressional delegations. Right. It's so secure in Iraq that the delegations spent their nights in Kuwait.
Earth to Molly! There is still a guerilla war going on in the Sunni Triangle of which Baghdad is a part. Talk about someone looking at the glass as half empty. Should we restore Saddam to power? Is that what you want? How does it feel to hate George Bush so much that you want us to fail in Iraq, you want American soldiers to die, and you want a tyrant like Saddam Hussein restored to power?
A Washington Post story by Dana Millbank reports that the Pentagon is enforcing for the first time a policy that dates back to Persian Gulf War I: No pictures of flag-draped coffins. This is apparently an attempt to control what Gen. Hugh Shelton calls "the Dover test" -- the public reaction to photos of coffins that flow into Dover Air Force Base in Delaware.
Yep! There's nothing that you liberals would enjoy more than seeing flag-draped coffins on the evening news every night. The more the merrier. Molly, I'm getting ready to puke.
The Pentagon believes that public support for a military action is eroded by photos of coffins,
So do liberals and America haters like you. That's why you're so pissed that they are not being shown.
so it's fixing that problem by stopping the photos. Reminding people of the real cost of Iraq, which is not in billions of dollars but in dead young Americans, seems to me something that the media have an obligation to do.
That way the American people could lose their resolve and we could get back to the more important stuff like implementing socialism and leaving ourselves open to more terrorist attacks so liberal fktards like you could wring their hands and ask, "Why do they hate us?"
However, the flag-draped coffin photo is only one way to do it.
But I'm sure the liberal media has other ways.
NewsHour With Jim Lehrer has been running photos of the faces of those who have been killed in complete silence at the end of the program.
Proletariat Broadcasting System. Using our tax dollars to undermine the resolve of America. Think of that during the next begathon. Fuck you, Lehrer you pinko sonuvabitch!
In another tragic triumph of reality over public relations, the al-Rashid hotel attack on Sunday "narrowly missed" Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz, according to The Wall Street Journal.
And I'll bet that pissed you off that it "narrowly missed".
The attack injured 17 and killed a lieutenant colonel. The Financial Times reported that Wolfowitz was "shaken … unshaven, with his voice trembling shortly after the rocket attack."
No shit! Who wouldn't be? Bill Clinton would have been hiding under the bed curled up in the fetal position crying for his mommy.
Not to wish ill on Wolfowitz,
Oh shit! My bullshit detector just pegged. I think the fucking needle is bent.
but he is the one who promised us that this war would be "a cakewalk" and that Iraqis would greet us with dancing and flowers. Ironic that he got a chance to see the real results.
Once again, this is the Sunni Triangle. How much bad news have we heard from the rest of the country? The old glass half empty bullshit.
Since Bush declared our "mission accomplished" in Iraq, more than 200 American soldiers have died there, and thousands have been wounded. (The Department of Defense no longer gives out the number of wounded, like that's going to make it better.) That is not a public relations problem. That cannot be fixed by chipper reporting.
Didja notice that she doesn't offer any solutions? It's the typical liberal manta: Bush bad. War bad. I am kinda surprised that she didn't use quagmire. Must of been an oversight.
Why is this woman writing a syndicated column? Does she have pictures of someone?
Posted by denny at November 4, 2003 09:49 PM Category: Molly Ivins Fisks