Here is a rerun from August of 2003 where I just can't seem to separate hate speech from "black hyperbole". I also have the same problem with liberal hate speech.
Dammit! What the heck do I have to do to get hate mail? Rachel gets hate mail and she's a lot nicer that I am. Cuter too. It's not like I haven't tried. I know I've offended a bunch of people. I know some people hate what I write, 'cause I've checked my ratings. There are some Hate its. Golly, now I've even got someone who wants to shoot me. He calls it a modest proposal
To take everybody who mistakes common politeness for "political correctness", everybody who actually uses "political correctness" without any trace of irony and especially anybody who is proud to call themselves "politically incorrect" and thinks this is a brave thing to do outside to the nearest wall and shoot them.
Now this guy, on his site, right under his picture, has the phrase Screw you Eric, this is a gun free zone. Talk about irony. How's he gonna take me outside and shoot me? Where's he gonna get the gun? And we have another problem. I don't know how long I can stand up against the wall, being crippled and all. Maybe he can hold me up while the shootin's bein' done.
I thought liberals were against capital punishment. I thought liberals only wanted to kill babies. Don't worry. I'm not talking about abortion. You're not gonna get me into that discussion. I'm talking about infanticide. That's where they see how many angels can dance on the head of a pin by delivering just enough of a live healthy baby so they can collapse his head and suck out the brains and call it 'partial birth' abortion. Sorry bucko, that's infanticide.
It's funny how conservatives are supposed to be so mean spirited but so much hate speech comes spewing from the left. I mean here's a guy who thinks that someone like me, exercising his First Amendment rights and refusing to buckle under the tyranny of stupid political fucking correctness (sorry, have to save my keyboard) should be taken outside to the nearest wall and shot. Tell me who's the fascist here. I guess I should be flattered that an anti-gun nut wants give up his hatred of guns long enough to have me shot. If I've pissed off at least one bedwetting, anti-gun nut liberal, I've done my job for the day.
How about another example. That noted (sarcasm) compassionate (/sarcasm) liberal, Julianne Malveaux, a truly odious person, said of Clarence Thomas "I hope [Thomas’s] wife feeds him lots of eggs and butter, and he dies early, like many black men do, of heart disease. . ." Aren't liberals supposed to be against hate speech? Oh, that's all right as long as they get to judge what constitutes hate speech. Hoping someone dies of heart disease or is taken outside and propped up against a wall and shot is OK if a liberal says it.
And how about that towering intellect of the left, Alec Baldwin? On the Late Night with Conan O'Brien show, during the Clinton Impeachment, Alec Baldwin said We should go to Washington and stone Henry Hyde to death. And then we should go to his house and kill his family. He said it was meant to be humorous. Remember that the next time a liberal bitches about some conservative hate speech. It was meant to be humorous. HaHaHa! Cut it out Alec! You're killin' me. No, Alec, it's a figure of speech. At least Alec didn't want to use a gun. Unlike whassisface who wants to take me out and have me shot for exercising my First Amendment rights.
And how about Charles Barron? Here's another example of leftist humor. And who says liberals don't have a sense of humor?
New York City Councilman Charles Barron said Sunday that he was using "black hyperbole" when he told a Washington, D.C., crowd gathered yesterday to demonstrate for slavery reparations that he wanted to slap white people who didn't sympathize with the cause.
I guess I'd rather be slapped than shot.
"I want to go up to the closest white person and say 'You can't understand this, it's a black thing' and then slap him, just for my mental health," Barron announced as 2,000 to 3,000 reparations supporters looked on.
A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
As the New York official uttered his incendiary remarks, vendors from the New Black Panther Party, which provided security for the event, hawked T-Shirts that read "Kill Whitey"
You don't understand, they were just joking. Another example of 'black hyperbole'.
and "How did we get to America? Heartless Christian Buyer, Ruthless Jewish seller," the Washington Times reported.
Yeah, but who sold the slaves to the Christian buyers? How 'bout their black brothers on the African coast. Sorry guys, Roots was good TV but bad history. Whites never went inland. They didn't have to. And I don't think the Jews were in the slave trade. Your friends the Arabs were and they still are today.
Asked about his explosive slap-the-nearest-white-person comment, Barron told WABC Radio's Steve Malzberg he was only joking, before the interview turned contentious.
Love a black guy with a sense of humor. Like Billy McKinney. 'It's the Jews. J-E-W-S'
The exchange went like this:
MALZBERG: How long have you wanted to slap white people?
Have you had this condition long? Is it contagious? Do you still beat your wife?
BARRON: Well, let me say this to you. It's interesting that they would take that out of my speech.
Since you were talkin' about slappin' white folks we wanted to know more about it.
I think everybody knew there that was what we call improvision - oratorial improvision and black hyperbole.
Some of us call that hate speech. But let's see if Charlie can dig himself deeper.
And y'all wouldn't understand that 'cause you're uptight and you're gonna take it where it was not intended.
But it's not all right for me to say 'Boy it's hot today!" and not even be talking to you and hear 'Don't call me boy!' and I'm a racist honkie motherfucker? Or someone voices a complaint about a niggardly budget and y'all run off and scream racism when niggardly has nothing to do with the 'n' word. (Look, I was politically correct and didn't say the actual word. Does that mean I won't be shot?) Which one of us is uptight?
Everybody at the rally laughed. White stage hands and camera people laughed.
Maybe they were laughing at you and not with you. Or maybe they were afraid that they'd get slapped if they didn't laugh.
When I came off the stage, I shook hands with whites who were there and they congratulated me on a great speech.
On a great hate speech. And, please don't slap me.
No one has taken that serious but you.
Wait a minute! I took it serious. That's two. My sister took it serious. That's three. My friends Michael and Cindy took it serious. That's four and five. I'll bet many of my readers took it serious. Should I forward the e-mail to you Charlie? What's your address? Now it gets good.
MALZBERG: Well, I'm taking it serious because it's presented as serious in the wire story. What in the world is black ...
BARRON: It's not serious. That's not serious. It's black hyperbole. Let's talk about reparations.
MALZBERG: Wait, wait, wait. If you'll be quiet for a second, I'm gonna ask you the question, what in the world is black hyperbole?
Let me interrupt here. Black hyperbole is an euphemism for hate speech.
BARRON: You don't know what a hyperbole is?
hyperbole, n. (fr. Greek, prop., an overshooting, excess, deriv. of hyper over + ballein to throw) Rhet. Extravagant exaggeration of statement; a statement exaggerated fancifully; as for effect
black hyperbole,n. hate speech
MALZBERG: Yeah, I do ...
BARRON: Let me break it down for you ...
MALZBERG: N-n-n-n-n-no, I do but you just ...
BARRON: Let me break down the parts of speech for you.
MALZBERG: You yourself - no, no, no, hold on. Now you're on hold because now you're insulting. Put him on hold because I want to - you said, "You won't understand this because you're white and uptight and blah, blah, blah but black hyperbole." So, yes, I know what hyperbole is. My question to you was: What is - what you said I wouldn't understand because I'm white - black hyperbole?
BARRON: It's a sense of humor. And we take things - we identify humor, they're gross exaggerations. That's a hyperbole. And it's a sense of humor that we have politically that our folk will understand and some other folk will get uptight and take it very seriously.
Like 'kill whitey' and 'death to the bloodsucking Jews'. It's not hate speech. It's black hyperbole. Hey, maybe what Julianne Malveaux said about Clarence Thomas was just black hyperbole. Now I understand. How come they never explained this shit to us white folks before? They jes' be funnin' wit' us.
MALZBERG: So if I made a joke before a white audience that I wanted to - just for my mental health - slap a black person, then I could always claim that that was white hyperbole.
Sounds like a good question to me.
BARRON: No. Because that's not how white people joke around.
How do you know? Have you been to the secret white folks meetings where we discuss this shit?
You're just trying to make a hypothetical to turn this into something it's not.
No, we're just trying to get you to admit that this was hate speech and quit throwing this bogus black hyperbole bullshit at us. If a white person were to say, I'm so sick of this stupid reparations bullshit that I just want to slap the next black person I see, the howls from the black community would be deafening. I wouldn't want to be between Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton and a TV camera. You wouldn't have to shoot me. I'd be trampled to death. And that reminds me. I'm due for another Bitch Slap column and you, Charlie, are gonna be in it. Back to the interview.
MALZBERG: Oh, so black people ...
BARRON: Let's talk about reparations.
MALZBERG: I will. Black people joke around by talking about ...
BARRON: Let's talk about reparations ...
MALZBERG: Wait a minute. Don't tell ...
BARRON: You could put me on hold again if you'd like.
MALZBERG: So you're just going to ...
BARRON: 'Cause I'm not entertaining no more of you wasting my time on black hyperbole you just don't get.
Yeah we white folks sure are dumb. No wonder we don't understand this reparations bullshit.
MALZBERG: Alright. Goodbye, city councilman. Thank you very much. I'm not going to be treated rudely and badgered on my show. (End of Excerpt)
So I think I got all this figgered out now. If a liberal like Alec Baldwin says we should stone an elected official for trying to uphold the Constitution, that must be liberal hyperbole. And the dude who wants to take me outside and have me shot must be using liberal hyperbole also.
I sure as hell hope so.
Hey dude! Have you met my friend Flip? He's a bird.
That's an example of Grouchy Old Cripple hyperbole.
Posted by denny at January 3, 2004 11:40 PM