Back From the Slopes

Got back on Tuesday night. Logged on. Got a new troll who likes to pretend it is Denita TwoDragons. Geez! The troll is not even proud enough to use its real name. Dickhead!

In the It's a Small World Department, I went to the same high school, Webster Groves Senior High School, in Webster Groves Missouri as Denita TwoDragons' mother. I was two grades ahead of her and didn't know her personally.

This was my second Crip Trip to Breckenridge Colorado. Last year's trip was Awesome. Last year everything was awesome. That was all I heard: awesome. This year, I only heard the word awesome four times.

Rick, and I'm sure some other people, wanted to know how cripples ski. We sit ski. For people who have spinal problems that do not give them much abdominal muscles there is the bi-ski. This is a chair that sits on two skis. The bi-ski offers great balance, but shitty maneuverability. For those of us who have good abdominal muscles, there is the mono-ski. It is a chair, called a bucket, that sits on top of one ski. The ski is the same ski that a standup skier would use. They use two, we use one. We also have two outriggers. These are poles that have little skis on the end. We use them for turning.

Here is a picture that I lifted off the BOEC (Breckenridge Outdoor Education Center) web site.

We stayed at the Village at Breckenridge which sits right at the foot of the Silverthorne run which is cool since that put us within easy walking distance (rolling distance in my case) of the Silverthorne lift. My sister, Sherry, and her husband, Ryan, liked that. Walk out of our building (roll in my case), walk (roll) a hundred yards, and we're there.

The trip out was uneventful except for one of the people who went with us whom I named Forest Stump. He was a triple amputee (two legs and an arm). He had leg prostheses that enabled him to walk. He also was a little slow mentally. Yeah, I know. I'm an asshole to make fun of someone like that. Read this blog's description.

Anyway, Forest, who was probably in his late 40's or early 50's had never been on an airplane before so everything was so new and wonderful he had to share it with the rest of us. Since we were in the same van with him travelling from the Denver Airport to Breckenridge, we got to experience his descriptions of his awe and delight for over two hours. His favorite phrase was, "Oh yeah!" It drove my sister nuts.

We stayed in a two bedroom condo this year. Ryan and Sherry got one bedroom and Andrew (my roommate from last year) and I got the other one.

I was expecting to pick up from where I left off last year, but alas, it was not meant to be. They put me in the same rig I used last year but I couldn't ski for shit. I had gained at least 10 pounds and that was part of the problem. Try as they might, they couldn't get me balanced properly in the bucket. Needless to say, I fell a lot.

On the first day one of my instructors, who was in a mono-ski rig, was Quinton. He was an actual paraplegic (something my sister didn't realize. I didn't either until later.). The other was Charlie who is an old fart (62) who only standup skis when he gives lessons. When he skis on his own, he uses a mono-ski since it is easier on his knees. My sister has a crappy knee and I told her she might want to learn how to sit ski. She's more athletic and would probably pick it up faster than I do.

On all of my first day runs, Quinton and Charlie kept giving me instructions (often at the same time), and altho' they were both giving me valuable info, it was confusing listening to two different people. I knew what I was supposed to do, but I couln't make it happen. At least I didn't injure my shoulder like I did on the first day last year. I did manage to ski right out of my ski. The binding on the ski allowed the bucket assembly to come out, so they had to change the ski before the second run.

The second day I had Charlie again, and a little slip of a girl named Amanda, a college student from Colorado Springs, who was interning. (Interning - Work your ass off for food, lodging, and lift tickets. Don't get paid anything.) They put me in a different rig and this time my balance was much better. I fell a lot on the first run, but that was partially because I was not strapped in tight enough and I was not able to lean far enough forward. After lunch we finally got all the equipment problems fixed. That is the problem with renting equipment. It is not as good as owning your own equipment that is made especially for you.

Sunday I had Quinton again and an intern from Australia named Rosie. Ryan and Sherry skied with us and Ryan was a big help assisting Rosie in getting me on the lift. Now that my equipment problems were fixed, I was able to make better turns. By noon Sunday I was finally back to where I was at the end of last year. I only skied half the day.

We sent out for pizza Sunday afternoon and watched the Super Bowl. The game was good. Halftime sucked! 'Nuff said.

Monday I had Quinton, one of the bosses named Bob and a volunteer named Bob. I told them I'd just go Bob-ling down the slope. Nah! They didn't think it was funny either. I told them before we started that we could probably replace Quinton with a tape recorder since he would say most of the day, "Look down the hill!"

One of the bad things about being a logical thinker is I have to know why to do things. The whole deal with looking down the hill at the fall line is to drop my downhill shoulder. By doing that, I could keep the ski flat and keep from catching the uphill edge of the ski and falling into the hill. This is a common problem with standup skiers also.

At the bottom of Silverthorne is Ballet Hill. It is the steepest part of the run. I could ski it using the entire hill, traversing across and back. Quinton wanted me to only use half of it. i.e. only ski halfway across and turn back. This would involve quicker and sharper turns. I had started this on Sunday and continued it Monday. Ryan even noticed that I was turning better.

In the afternoon, Quinton took me to El Dorado. This is a steeper version of Ballet Hill. This is where I made two incredibly fantastic wipeouts last year. This year I made my second best wipeout there. My best wipeout was on Ballet Hill on Saturday when I fell on my uphill side, bounced, and fell downhill. My sister gave me a 9.5 for my wipeout on El Dorado. Quinton and the Bobs only gave me a 6 because I didn't lose any equipment.

I quit early on Monday because I was beat. I made a lot of progress and hopefully I won't put on any more weight so I can get off Silverthorne and start skiing some intermediate runs next year. My sister says there are some nice long blue and blue black runs. Maybe in another four years I'll find out. It sucks being a klutz and an old one at that.

The flight home was fun. At least my sister thought so. She sat right in front of Forest Stump and raptly listened to him the whole flight. As the plane was flying over Memphis, he saw the Pyramid and said, "We're flying over St. Louis. I see the Arch." When Sherry told me that, after we deplaned I told her that I was amazed at the engineering project that not only turned the Gateway Arch into a pyramid but also moved it across the Mississippi River.

There were a few more exciting things that happened, but I will not relate them to protect the guilty.

The trip next year has already been scheduled and if able I'm going to go again. Maybe next year I'll make it up to Bonanza, the easiest blue run.

I wish I had started this when I was younger.

Posted by denny at February 4, 2004 03:47 PM