February 05, 2004

To Professionalize

Do y'all remember when the gummint was setting up the TSA? Little Tommy Dasshole came up with the quote: To professionalize we must federalize. What a bunch of crap! Professionalize and federalize do not belong in the same fucking sentence. This was rammed home to me on my trip to Breckenridge.

We arrived at Hartsfield International (There ain't no fucking way I am ever gonna call the Atlanta airport Hartsfield-Jackson!) in plenty of time to get through security and get to our gate.

At the first security checkpoint you need to present a picture id and your boarding pass. All the dipshit gummint employee needs to do is match your picture to your face and match your name to the name on the boarding pass. A third grade pissant with the IQ of 80 could perform this job easily. Unfortunately, we didn't get so lucky. The professionalized and federalized TSA employee didn't even have the intelligence to perform that simple task.

There were some cripples in front of us in wheelchairs and obviously there was a problem that the professionalized and federalized TSA employee, who wasn't even smart enough to work at McDonald's (Would you like fries with that?) could handle. As in all jobs involving gummint employees, there were people standing around doing nothing whom the professionalized and federalized TSA employee could have asked to come over and assist her, but she just decided to solo on fucking everything up. The line grew longer while this professionalized and federalized TSA employee seemed to do absolutely nothing since that was exactly what she was doing.

Finally, someone in the line asked her what her name was. Since she was a professionalized and federalized TSA employee and realized she was fucking up and didn't really give a shit she refused. She wasn't even wearing a name tag and I sure as shit know why. Of course, reporting her wouldn't have done any good since she was a gummint employee and didn't give a flying fuck. To professionalize we must federalize my ass! Dear Tom Dasshole: Fuck off!

Now we get to the metal detectors. Do I have a fucking good time here or what? I can't walk through them so I have to take off my coat, my backpack, and my shoes and braces. I traveled in my wheelchair since I wasn't planning on trying to walk around in the ice and snow and break a leg. I did wear my braces so I could walk onto the plane by holding on to handholds and the seats. I hate those skinny little chairs the airlines use to get us cripples on to the planes.

I wheel my chair up to the special assistance area. The first thing these rocket scientists ask me is if I can stand up. Listen Sherlock, I just took off my shoes and braces and sent them through your fucking xray machines and I'm in a fucking wheelchair and you're asking me if I can stand up? (Would you like to supersize that order?) Jesus H. Christ! I could probably find a homeless person in downtown Atlanta who could do this job better than these professionalized and federalized gummint employees!

Even sitting in a wheelchair, these morons could wand me but instead they have to pat me down. What do these dipshits use for fucking brains? We're counting on these pissants to protect us? Be afraid. Be very afraid.

And as for little Tommy Dasshole and his "to prefessionalize we must federalize", I'd like to kick that little fucktwit in the balls! I'd fall on my ass, but it would be worth it!

I hate the fucking TSA!

Posted by denny at February 5, 2004 09:28 PM