Instead of a rerun this weekend, I'm posting a speech that some of us would like to hear our president give. This one's been floating around the internet and was sent to me by Ralph Gizzip.
WOULD IT NOT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE OLE' TV TONIGHT AND SEE G.W. BUSH GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH.....
My fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed. Since
congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in
Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days.
It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short.
The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the
countries listed there.
The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing
copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money
toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will
hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of
the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal
now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to
Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables,
too.
I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France,
Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring
from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN
diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid tickets
to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I
don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. Pay your tickets
tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over
to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are going
to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not
pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and
his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I have a
couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I'm
gonna put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your
oil. Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA
treaty---starting now. (I'm against this part. I believe in free trade - GOC)
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying darn
tootin'. Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life
around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about
everyone on the planet.
It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
homelessness in America.(Good luck Dubya! There has to be an attitude change among the poor and homeless for that to work - GOC) It is time to eliminate World Cup soccer from America.
To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
God bless America.
Thank you and good night.
I would add the following.
Hey Islamofascist terrorists. This is the way it's gonna be. The next time you kill an American anywhere in the world, and that includes Israel, we will nuke Medina. That will be a warning to show you nihilistic barbarian motherfuckers that we mean business, so you better rein in those mad dog Palestinians and the godfather of modern terrorism, Yassir Arafat. If another American dies due to Islamic terrorism anywhere on the planet, say goodbye to Mecca. You fuckers want a holy war? We'll give you one. We are sick of your bullshit. We are not gonna take it anymore.
Thank you and good night.