Didja Know that Captain Kangaroo was a marine and fought on Iwo Jima? Didja know that Mister Rogers was a SEAL?
No I didn't. And do you know why I didn't? Because it isn't true!
There isn't a week that goes by that one of my friends (Yes. I do have friends.) doesn't forward me sumpin' like this. Aarrggghhhh! I usually write back and tell them that it is bullshit!
Have you seen the latest one about how we can make the oil companies drop the price of gas with absolutely no pain to ourselves? It's so simple. Why didn't I think of it? Ya see, all we have to do is quit buying gas from the two largest oil companies. We'll just give all of our business to everyone else. All of a sudden Exxon and whatever other company was in the bullshit e-mail will have a lot of gas on their hands and will have to lower their prices to sell it.
Brilliant! There's only one thing wrong with this strategy. It will not work. The socialist/commie/Dimocrat/butthead (I know. Redundant.) who wrote this tries to do what all socialists/commies/Dimocrats/buttheads do: Repeal the law of supply and demand.
Let's pretend that we try this strategy. First off the demand for the gasoline of all the other oil companies will go up. Unless they can find some way to increase their supplies to match the increased demand one of two things will happen: they will run out of gas or they will raise their prices. Either way, we will have to go back to buying gas from Exxon and whatever other company was in the bullshit e-mail. They'll be the only companies with gas to sell or the other companies will raise their prices to meet the increased demand and their gas will cost the same or more than Exxon and the other company that was in the bullshit e-mail. Economics 101.
There are only two ways to decrease the price of gasoline: Increase the supply or decrease the demand. That's it.
How do we increase the supply?
1. Tell OPEC to increase production. Do it or we invade! After all, we are the evil, imperialist United States.
2. Tell non-OPEC nations like Mexico (Sell us more oil or we'll ship all the illegal Mexicans back), Canada (We'll conquer you, you pussies!), and Russia (We still have nukes pointed at you Putin!) to pump more oil.
3. Steal all of Iraq's oil. After all, the war was all about the oooiiiillll!
4. Drill in Alaska. Fuck the environazis!
The same assholes bitching about the price of gas won't allow us to do anything to increase the supply. I wish we could just take all the buttheads who are against nuclear power, against coal fired generating plants, and against drilling in Alaska and put them in houses with a windmill on their property and solar power panels and let that be their sole source of electricity. They can't use any natural gas for heating or cooking. They can't burn wood for heating or cooking 'cause that causes smoke. They can't drive a car. Nothing but bicycles and mass transit. Are you fuckers happy in your environment friendly abode? Practice what you preach you fucktards!
The other way to decrease gas prices is to decrease demand. Having the environazis above riding bicycles and using mass transit would go a long way towards decreasing the demand. They want all the other people to sacrifice but not them. After all, they know better than all of us common people. Wouldn't it be neat to see a shitload of windmills on Barbra Streisands property? Or Babs on a bus or a bicycle? BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Back in the 70's when gas prices went up, we sold our gas guzzlers and bought fuel efficient cars. Demand went down and the price went down. Economics 101. What with cheap gas in the 80's and 90's we thought nothing of buying gas guzzling SUV's. Well guess what? We're using more gas so the price has to go up for the supply to match the demand.
If you don't like high gas prices, sell your SUV and get a fuel efficient car. Or, as I said in a previous post, take the bus.
Quit sending me bullshit e-mails about easy fixes.