"Investigators noted no evidence of fire"..

Dammit! That's better than my caption.

Captain Al Franken, at the controls of Air America One, missed the runway badly.

Investigators called it a classic case of pilot error.

Yeah, and I'll bet the pilot complained to the ground crew that there was a water leak in the cockpit....

Why can't I think up shit like that?

And passengers should remember that their seat cushions are also float devices that could be held on to, just in case we crash in the ocean.

Analysis of the black box revealed the last words prior to impact were "Hey y'all...watch this!". Reports that "Hold muh beer" were uttered before that are unverified at press time....