I'm sure we all saw the Wife 1.0 joke that went around the internet. In case you haven't seen it, here is Husband 1.0 which was sent to me by a friend.
Subject: Husband 1.0
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower
and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend
5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs,
such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed
undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NHL 4.3, MLB 3.0, and NBA 3.6.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?
Signed
Desperate
Dear Desperate:
First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try to enter the
command:C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME" to download Tears 6.2, which should
automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed,
Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0
and Flowers 3.5. Remember, though, that overuse of the above application can
cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or
Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly
10.8.
Whatever you do: DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another
Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash
Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I
personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support