A Joke From Woody

While walking down the street one day, a Democratic senator is hit
by an out-of-control truck and killed. His soul arrives in heaven and is met at
the entrance by St. Peter.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. " However, before you settle in, there
seems to be a problem. We seldom see a high official around
these parts, you see, so we're not exactly sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the senator.

"Well, I'd like to," said St. Peter, "but I have orders from higher up. What we'll
do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then
you can choose where to spend eternity."

"There's no need for that...I know I belong in Heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry, senator, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator, and he goes
down, down, down into Hell.

As the elevator doors open, the senator finds himself in the middle of a beautiful golf course. In the distance is an exclusive private club and standing in front of it are friends and other politicians who had worked with
him in Washington. Everyone appears happy and are wearing elegant designer clothes.

When they notice the senator, everyone runs to greet him and they immediately begin to reminisce about the good times they had while
alive. After a friendly round of gol everyone enters the club house where they dine on lobster, caviar and bottle after bottle of the finest vintage wines.

Also present is the Devil, a very friendly guy who
has a good time dancing and telling jokes. Everyone is having such
a marvelous time that, before the senator realizes it, it's time to go. Everyone
gives him a big hug and waves farewell as he steps into the elevator.

The elevator goes up, up, up, and the door reopens on Heaven
where St.Peter is waiting for him ...

"Now, senator, it's time for you to visit Heaven."

So, another 24 hours pass with the head of state joining a group of
contented souls moving peacefully from cloud to cloud, playing harps
and singing. The senator has a good, albeit quiet, time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter is once again by his side.

"Well, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven.
Now, you must choose where you want to spend eternity."

The senator reflects for a minute and then answers: "Well, I would never
have thought it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I
think I would be better satisfied in Hell."

So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator, and down, down,
down he goes into Hell. The doors of the elevator open
and the senator finds himself in the middle of a barren land covered with rotting waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags, which are stacked as far and as high as the eye can see. It's sweltering, miserably hot, and the odor is just vile.

The Devil comes over to the senator and smoothly lays his arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "The day before
yesterday I was here, and there was a golf course and club,
and we drank, ate lobster and caviar, danced and had a great
time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage, it's hot and smelly
and my friends look miserable."

The Devil looks at the senator, smiles and says, "Yesterday we
were campaigning ... today you voted for us.

Posted by denny at May 8, 2004 05:28 PM