Bullshit Part 1

I don't have time to analyze the entire speech tonight so I'm gonna break it into two parts.

Let's see. We had to start off with the Kerry family. Is it just me or are the Kerry girls barkers? Bring on the Bush twins!

I didn't see too much of this part because I was watching the end of the Braves game. It was played in the afternoon but was being telecast at night. I did hear the part about John Fonda Kerry rescuing a hamster and giving it CPR. So Massachusetts Senators can rescue drowning hamsters. Too bad Mary Jo Kopechne wasn't one.

Then came the movie. Morgan Freeman narrated it. Shit. There's another Hollywood liberal I have to dislike.

Ya know, I'm getting tired of all this Viet Nam war hero bullshit. In 1992 and 1996 we had war heroes running for president against a draft dodger. These war heroes didn't wear their heroism on their sleeves and didn't make it the centerpiece of their campaigns. And back then the hypocritical Dimocratic Party, John Kerry among them, said military service didn't matter. Now these same assholes are making a big thing about Bush's National Guard service and saying he shirked his duty. It doesn't fucking matter!!!!! You assholes established the precedent in 1992. You are a bunch of phony fucking hypocrites!

And let's talk about Kerry's service. Why won't you bastards release all of his service records like you wanted Bush to do? I want to see all of his fitreps. I want to see documentation for the first purple heart. I hear it was a result of a weapon fired too close to the boat, and a ricochet wounded Lurch. Seeing how he cannot pitch a baseball all the way to home plate, I can imagine him shooting a gun short.

And as far as I'm concerned, what he did after the war nullifies any of the heroics he performed in Viet Nam.

Joining VVAW, a communist front group supported by the treasonous Jane Fonda disqualifies this man from being commander-in-chief.

Testifying to Congress about made up atrocities told to him by members of VVAW who had never served disqualifies this man to be commander-in-chief.

Throwing away his medals, or someone else's, or his ribbons, or whatever the current story is disqualifies this man to be commander-in-chief.

Thirty years ago he was ashamed to be a Viet Nam vet. Now it is the centerpeice of his campaign. Fucking unprincipled opportunistic bastard! But then, he's a Dimocrat. This is the party of Bill and Hillary Clinton.

Remember, Benedict Arnold was a hero before he became a traitor.

An howza 'bout the guys who served with him who came out on the stage. Well here's the swift boat officers who served with Lurch. Check them out and see what they say about the asshole.

So here's Stumpy to introduce Lurch.

He fell in love with Kerry when he gave his bullshit testimony to Congress about made up atrocities. Way to go Max. My opinion of you just went down even lower. I didn't think that was possible. By the way, the Dimocrats are trying to make Stumpy into some kind of hero as if he lost his limbs on the battlefield. It was an accident that had nothing to do with battle. In fact he used to say that before the Dimocrats decided to roll him out as Lurch's mascot.

He came out with the usual Dimocrat talking points:

We alienated our allies. Ya mean France? When were the Frogs our allies? They're still pissed that we had to bail them out of two wars. They've been allies in name only since the end of World War II. They actively opposed our actions in Iraq because of their involvement in the oil for food scandal. Germany? Who cares. We still have the allies that count: England and Australia.

Education - Ever since Jimmah Carter created the Department of Education and the teachers unions became a powerful faction of the Dimocrat Party, education has been going downhill. The Dimocrats fucked it up. Why should we believe that they can solve the problem?

Health Care - Babyface took $150 million from the insurance companies and probably drove a lot of OB/GYNs out of business. I really think a couple of lawyers like the Poodle and Babyface are gonna make health care any better. Yeah. That's gonna happen. Hillarycare reprise.

So here comes Kerry. The bullshit starts now.

I'm John Kerry, and I'm reporting for duty.

Like you have in the Senate this year where you've already missed 80% of the votes. Like the intelligence briefing that you haven't had time to get from the current administration. Sounds like dereliction of duty to me.

We are here tonight because we love our country. We're proud of what America is and what it can become.

Did you tell Michael Moore? He's been running around the world telling people how dumb we are. By the way, he's a Dimocrat.

My fellow Americans, we're here tonight united in one purpose: to make America stronger at home and respected in the world.

Actually 93% of the delegates want to cut and run from Iraq. Yep. That will make us respected in the world. They want us to act like a bunch of pussies. That's why the French and Germans, our "allies", want the Poodle to win the election. They want us to get their approval before we do anything. And the important question is whom do the terrorists want to win the election?

A great American novelist

I bet if you would have asked him who the novelist was he wouldn't have known. Or maybe if he did, he was afraid if he would have said Thomas Wolfe, most of the delegates wouldn't have known whom he was talking about.

wrote that you can't go home again. He could not have imagined this evening. Tonight, I am home.

And I, for one, would be happy for you to stay there.

home where my public life began and those who made it possible live; home where our nation's history was written in blood, idealism and hope; home where my parents showed me the values of family, faith and country.

Boston used to have patriots like Samuel and John Adams. Now they have Ted Kennedy and John Fonda Kerry. Boston how you have fallen. From "no taxation without representation" to "tax the rich". We fought a war over taxes that were nowhere near what they are today. The Founders would be shocked.

Now, I am not one to read into things, but guess which wing of the hospital the maternity ward was in?

Oh crap! I can hardly wait for this bullshit line.

I'm not kidding. I was born in the West Wing.

I bet the hospital was facing north. That would make it the left wing, which would have been very fitting since you are the most liberal Senator in the Senate.

And that is the end of Part 1. I'll put Part 2 up on Sunday night.

Posted by denny at July 30, 2004 07:49 PM