Bullshit Part 2

Veryalda posted the Kerry drinking game in the comments. It goes like this:

Take one drink for everytime he says "veteran," two for everytime he says "Viet Nam," and three for everytime he says "band of brothers."

I don't enough booze in the house to play that game.

Anyway, back to the speech

I left off where he was spouting the bullshit about being born in the Left west wing of the hospital.

It's time to talk about his mother.

She gave me her passion for the environment. She taught me to see trees as the cathedrals of nature.

Cathedrals of nature? Have you hugged a tree today?

And by the power of her example, she showed me that we can and must complete the march toward full equality for all women in the United States of America.

I dunno. I think we're prettty close to that now. I think my friend Cindy thinks she has equality. I think my sister feels the same way. They achieved everything they did on their own. They didn't have to marry a scumbag who humiliated her and her daughter in front of the world to achieve power like a former first lady who is somehow held up by feminists as a role model. Cindy has already told me what she would do to Michael if he had done any of the crap Bill Clinton did.

More platitudes. This time about his dad.

And when I was a young man, he was in the State Department, stationed in Berlin when it and the world were divided between democracy and communism.

I have unforgettable memories of being a kid mesmerized by the British, French and American troops, each of them guarding their own part of the city, and Russians standing guard on that stark line separating East from West.

On one occasion, I rode my bike into Soviet East Berlin, and when I proudly told my dad, he promptly grounded me.

Even then he gravitated towards the communists.

But what I learned has stayed with me for a lifetime. I saw how different life was on different sides of the same city. I saw the fear in the eyes of people who were not free. I saw the gratitude of people toward the United States for all that we had done. I felt goosebumps as I got off a military train and heard the Army band strike up "Stars and Stripes Forever."

And in spite of all of that, he still sold out the South Vietnamese and preached appeasement and toleration of the Soviet Union and its satellite states. He was against anti-communist movements in Latin America.

I learned what it meant to be America at our best. I learned the pride of our freedom. And I am determined now to restore that pride to all who look to America.

By allowing France, Germany, and the United Nations veto power over our foreign policy. Thanks, but no thanks.

Mine were Greatest Generation parents. And as I thank them, we all join together to thank a whole generation for making America strong, for winning World War II, winning the Cold War and for the great gift of service which brought America 50 years of peace and prosperity.

T.D. posted in my comments asking why Bush and Dole didn't tout their war records when running against a draft dodger. It's because that generation didn't brag about their military exploits the way the Poodle does. They had a job to do and they did it. And I love his line about winning the Cold War. We won the Cold War without much help from the Dimocrat Party since they opposed most of Reagan's policies that led to the downfall of the Soviet Union. Kerry and the Dimocrats were on the wrong side of history during the Cold War and they will be on the wrong side of history during the War on Terror. If Lurch gets elected maybe he will be the Jimmah Carter to the next Ronald Reagan.

My parents inspired me to serve, and when I was in high school, a junior, John Kennedy called my generation to service. It was the beginning of a great journey, a time to march for civil rights, for voting rights, for the environment, for women, for peace.

We believed we could change the world. And you know what? We did.

And not always for the better. We now have a permanent underclass dependent on the gummint. The Department of Education and the teachers unions have screwed up our education system. Trial lawyers like Babyface have driven up medical insurance costs and driven doctors out of business.

But we're not finished. But we're not finished.

Nope. We won't be happy until we've destroyed our health care system and turned this country into a socialist nightmare. We want to do for the entire country what the liberals have done to California.

We have it in our power to change the world, but only if we're true to our ideals. And that starts by telling the truth to the American people.

The irony of a Dimocrat telling the truth to the American people boggles the mind. This after all is the party of Bill and Hillary Clinton, two people who lie as a matter of course and they lie about the most mundane things like saying Hillary was named after Sir Edmund Hillary, when Edmund Hillary was an obscure beekeeper when Hillary was born in 1947. Farkin' amazing! And John Fonda Kerry, berating people about lying, keeps changing his story about throwing his medals or ribbons over the White House fence. C'mon Senator. Tell us the truth. Just once. Release all of your military records like you asked Bush to do. And think of all the lies you told when you testified in front of the Senate about Viet Nam war atrocities. Tell us the truth about your voting record in the Senate, how you're weak on defense. How you voted for the war and then voted against funding it. How you voted to gut intelligence. Run on your record in the Senate where you are the most liberal member. Tell the truth to the American people what you are really gonna do if you get elected.

As president, that is my first pledge to you tonight: As president, I will restore trust and credibility to the White House.

Once again, the irony of a Dimocrat, especially one as craven as this butthead talking about trust and credibility just boggles my mind. People actually believe this shit.

I ask you, I ask you to judge me by my record. As a young prosecutor, I fought for victims' rights and made prosecuting violence against women a priority.

When I came to the Senate, I broke with many in my own party to vote for a balanced budget, because I thought it was the right thing to do. I fought to put 100,000 police officers on the streets of America.

I fought to cut military spending. I voted against every major weapons system. I voted to cut our intelligence. I did everything in my power to weaken the military and make this country vulnerable to attack.

And then I reached out across the aisle with John McCain to work to find the truth about our POWs and missing in action and to finally make peace in Vietnam.

Not everyone believes this claim. Some POW/MIA familes are royally pissed off at this bastard. The North Vietnamees love him. His picture is in a musem in Ho Chi Minh City war museum honoring Viet Nam war protesters. So not only was he an American war hero, he was also a North Vietnam war hero.

I will be a commander in chief who will never mislead us into war.

I will immediately surrender and appease the enemy. Since I look French and speak French, I may as well act French.

I will have a vice president who will not conduct secret meetings with polluters to rewrite our environmental laws.

Instead he will have secret meetings with other lawyers like Hillary did to figger out how to destroy the best health care system in the world.

I will have a secretary of defense who will listen to the best advice of the military leaders.

And tell them to cut and run at the first sign of trouble like we did in Somalia.

And I will appoint an attorney general who will uphold the Constitution of the United States.

That's a laugh since the Dimocrats are the ones who call the Constitution a "living document" and are always finding ways to circumvent it or appointing liberal judges who will legislate from the bench.

My fellow Americans, this is the most important election of our lifetime. The stakes are high. We are a nation at war: a global war on terror against an enemy unlike we've ever known before.

And I want to hurry up and surrender so we can go back to what we Dimocrats do best: Destroying the economy by raising taxes, passing unfunded mandates, over-regulating businesses, and working toward the glories of a socialist state.

And here at home, wages are falling, health-care costs are rising, and our great middle class is shrinking. People are working weekends -- two jobs, three jobs -- and they're still not getting ahead.

Blame Babyface and his ambulance chasing friends for the rise in health care. The middle class is not shrinking. And some of us are getting ahead.

We're told that outsourcing jobs is good for America. We're told that jobs that pay $9,000 less than the jobs that have been lost is the best that we can do. They say this is the best economy that we've ever had. And they say anyone who thinks otherwise is a pessimist.

No one said this was the best economy we've ever had you lying sack of shit! They said the economy has turned the corner and is coming back. You're the one comparing Bush to Herbert Hoover and saying how bad the economy is. And maybe if you Dimocrats had not insisted on over-taxing and over-regulating businesses they might not be going offshore as much as they have.

Well, here is our answer: There is nothing more pessimistic than saying that America can't do better.

Holy shit! The Dims are gonna shed their gloom and doom label?

We can do better, and we will.

Not if you get elected.

We're the optimists. For us, this is a country of the future.

Have you told Michael Moore that? Have you told the libs in Hollywood that? Have you told Al Sharpton that? He thinks we're still back in the 60's and he's the second coming of Martin Luther King.

We're the can-do people.

And I'm worried about what you can do if we give you the chance. Surrender in the War on Terror. Surrender our foreign policy to France, Germany and the UN.

And let's not forget what we did in the 1990s: We balanced the budget.

Actually we didn't. You politicians (and I'm blaming the Republicans here also) used the Social Security surplus to mask the deficit and then you spent the Social Security surplus and put IOU's in the "trust fund".

We paid down the debt.

No. We. Didn't. The national debt increased every single year during the 1990's. Jan 29, 1993 at the start of the Clinton administration it was $4,167,200,410,899.83. On Jan 31 2001 at the end of the Clinton adminisration it was $5,716,070,587,057.36. Don't believe me? Go here and plug in the dates. Just damn! I love the internet. I'm so glad that Algore invented it.

We created 23 million new jobs.

Gummint. Does. Not. Create. Jobs.

We just need to believe in ourselves and we can do it again.

No you need to get gummint out of the way and let the private sector create the jobs.

Thank you. I am proud that at my side will be a running- mate whose life is the story of the American dream, and who's worked every day to make that dream real for all Americans, Senator John Edwards of North Carolina and his wife Elizabeth and their family. Thank you.

Yep. An ambulance chasing lawyer who made his fortune suing insurance companies, driving up the cost of malpractice insurance and driving OB/GYN's out of business.

This son of a millworker is ready to lead.

Yeah sure. That's right. He can go sue bin Laden.

This is taking longer than I thought. I'm gonna have to stop for tonight and continue tomorrow. My bullshit meter is pegged and I connot take anymore at this time.