Bullshit The Finale

I can't believe that not only did I listen to John Fonda Kerry deliver this piece of crap but I also read through the entire speech just so I could do these five posts. I do this stuff just for you, my faithful readers.

We value jobs that actually pay you more than the job that you lost. We value jobs where, when you put in a week's work, you can actually pay your bills, provide for your children, lift up the quality of your life.

Maybe if you bastards didn't tax the shit out of us to fund your misguided social programs we wouldn't have to work so much. For many two income couples, the second income is to pay all the farkin' taxes.

We value an America where the middle class is not being squeezed, but doing better.

Squeezed by an incredible tax burden. Income tax. Sales taxes. Excise taxes.
Social Security taxes. Medicare taxes. Gas taxes. Ad valorum taxes. Real estate taxes. Registration fees. All sorts of hidden taxes. Check out your telephone bill for those.

So here is our economic plan to build a stronger America:

This oughta be good.

first, new incentives to revitalize manufacturing;

Howza 'bout tax cuts? There's a good incentive. By the way, evil business doesn't really pay taxes. They just imbed them into the cost of their products.

second, investment in technology and innovation that will create the good-paying jobs of the future;

All you have to do is get gummint out of the way and that will happen by itself.

third, close the tax loopholes that reward companies for shipping jobs overseas.

Isn't it ironic that the Poodle's owner's money comes from the Heinz Corporation that has shipped many of its jobs overseas? Dimocrats and hypocrisy go together so well don't they

Instead, we will reward the companies that create and keep good- paying jobs right where they belong, in the good old USA.

How are you gonna reward them? Lurch doesn't say. More empty rhetoric from an empty suit. Sorry, I used that line once before but it so fits this asshole.

We value an America that exports products, not jobs. And we believe American workers should never have to subsidize the loss of their own job.

Then quit over-regulating business!

Next, we will trade, and we will compete in the world. But our plan calls for a fair playing field, because if you give the American worker a fair playing field, there's no one in the world that the American worker can't compete against.

By this I bet he means tariffs. Tariffs are counterproductive. Much as I dislike Clinton, he did believe in free trade. Unusual for a Dimocrat.

And we're going to return to fiscal responsibility because it is the foundation of our economic strength. Our plan will cut the deficit in half in four years by ending tax giveaways that are nothing more than corporate welfare, and we will make government live by the rule that every family has to live by: Pay as you go.

Pay as you go? Gummint? GMAFB! This guy will outspend Bush. My biggest knock on Bush has been his rise in social spending. Compassionate conservative must be liberal lite. The spending that the Poodle and Babyface have in mind will make Bush look like a piker.

Let me tell you what we won't do: We won't raise taxes on the middle class.

The last Dimocrat who said this was Bill Clinton and then he and the Dimocrats passed the largest tax increase in history. If Lurch gets elected, hang on to your wallets.

You've heard a lot of false charges about this in recent months. So let me say straight out what I will do as president: I will cut middle-class taxes.

That's what Bill Clinton said.

I will reduce the tax burden on small business.

I got a bridge for sale here.

And I will roll back the tax cuts for the wealthiest individuals who make over $200,000 a year, so we can invest in health care, education and job creation.

Tax the rich! Tax the rich! Dimocrats remind me of those little talking dolls that have the string in the neck that you pull to make them talk.

Pull the string. Tax cuts for the rich.

Pull the string. Bush lied.

I did a post on this last year.

Our education plan for a stronger America sets high standards and it demands accountability from parents, teachers and schools. It provides for smaller class sizes, and it treats teachers like the professionals that they are.

What a load of crap. The Dimocrats and the teachers unions have all but destroyed what was once a great public school system. They have turned our schools into socialist indoctrination centers.

Let me tell you sumpin' about class size. I was on the leading edge of the baby boomers (born in 1946). Our class sizes were around 30 students and we learned. We didn't learn self esteem. We learned how to read and write. We learned how to add and subtract. If someone couldn't keep up, he repeated the grade. There was no such thing as social promotion.

Starting in junior high (back in the 50's that was grades 7-9) we were tracked. That means students were put together according to aptitude. That way the bright students were grouped with bright students so they could have additional challenges. In high school English the brighter students like (ahem) me (Oops! I sprained my arm trying to pat myself on the back) had to read the unabridged version of Moby Dick. What a boring book! The less bright students got to read an abridged version.

And there was discipline. Part of the lack of discipline stems from parents not wanting the schools to discipline little Jason and Jennifer. If I got in trouble at school, I got in more trouble at home. Once I got thrown against a bank of lockers by the assistant principal, Mr. Schaum. Do you think I complained to my parents? Are you kidding? My dad would have had his belt off so fast it would have made my head spin.

Gummint is the problem. Parents need to demand discipline and accountability. They won't get it from Dimocrats or the teachers unions.

And it gives a tax credit to families for each and every year of college.

Cut taxes overall.

When I was a prosecutor, I met young kids who were in trouble, abandoned, all of them, by adults.

The products of Lyndon Johnson's Great Fucking Society.

And as president, I am determined that we stop being a nation content to spend $50,000 a year to send a young person to prison for the rest of their life, when we could invest $10,000 in Head Start, Early Start, Smart Start, a real start to the lives of our children.

Start me up! Head Start doesn't really work. I doubt if the other Starts do either. The people you are talking about are members of the permanent underclass that your party's social programs created. You don't solve poverty by giving money to poor people.

And we value health care that's affordable and accessible for all Americans.

Here it comes. Socialized medicine.

Since 2000, 4 million people have lost their health insurance. Millions more are struggling to afford it. You know what's happening.

Thank Babyface and his trial lawyer friends for pushing up the cost of health insurance. Here's a novel idea. Since you are so fond of tax credits, howza 'bout a tax credit (A credit not a deduction) for health insurance?

Your premiums, your co-payments, your deductibles have all gone through the roof.

As I said. Thank Babyface.

Our health care plan for a stronger America cracks down on the waste, and the greed and the abuse in our health-care system, and it will save families $1,000 a year in premiums. You'll get to pick your own doctor. And patients and doctors, not insurance company bureaucrats, will make medical decisions.

Bill Whittle wrote in one of his essays about someone having an idea and making that idea work. When he asked what the process was in between he was told, "That's when the magic happens". I prefer to use Ironbear's term PFM (Pure Fucking Magic). We're about to see that now.

Under our health care plan. Medicare will negotiate lower drug prices for seniors. And all Americans will be able to buy less expensive prescription drugs from countries like Canada.

As soon as we are able to do that, the drug companies will no longer give the price break to the Canadian health system and the price will reach an equilibrium, unless the drug companies are able to buy enough politicians to prevent that from happening. I'm actually in favor of us buying drugs from Canada. Let the marketplace work it's magic and the Canadians can help subsidize the rest of the world like we do.

The story of people struggling for health care is the story of so many Americans. But you know what? It's not the story of senators and members of Congress, because we give ourselves great health care, and you get the bill.

And you assholes give yourselves raises every year. And about that bill? We ain't getting our money's worth.

Well, I'm here to say tonight: Your family's health care is just as important as any politician's in Washington, D.C.

Here it comes....

And when I am president, we will stop being the only advanced nation in the world which fails to understand that health care is not a privilege for the wealthy, and the connected and the elected; it is a right for all Americans.

And it says so right in the Constitution. That attorney general I'm gonna appoint that will enforce the Constitution will show me where it is.

And we will make it so.

Poof! PFM!

We value an America that controls its own destiny because it's finally and forever independent of Mideast oil. What does it mean for our economy and our national security when we have only 3 percent of the world's oil reserves, yet we rely on foreign countries for 53 percent of what we consume?

That we use a lot of energy? Maybe it's because we are the richest country on this planet.

I want an America that relies on its ingenuity and innovation, not the Saudi royal family.

Wait for it.

And our energy plan for a stronger America -- our energy plan will invest in new technologies and alternative fuels and the cars of the future, so that no young American in uniform will ever be held hostage to our dependence on oil from the Middle East.

Poof! PFM! This is from a party that will not let us build dams for hydropower because it might kill a fish. This is from a party that will not allow us to drill in ANWR because it might harm the environment. This is from a party that will not allow us to drill offshore because of the aformentioned environment. This is from a party that will not allow us to build nuclear power plants because they are evil. This is from a party that has not allowed us to build a new refinery since the late 70's. This is from a party that has put up a roadblock to almost any rational plan to help us decrease our reliance on foreign oil. This is from a party whose energy plan is Poof! PFM!

I've told you about our plans for the economy, for education, for health care, for energy independence. I want you to know more about them.

<rachellucas>And. It. Was. All. A. Crock. Of. Shit.</rachellucas>

So now I'm going to say something that Franklin Roosevelt could never have said in his acceptance speech: Go to johnkerry.com.

If the bullshit in this speech wasn't enough for you, there is more there.

I want to address these next words directly to President George W. Bush.

In the weeks ahead, let's be optimists, not just opponents. Let's build unity in the American family, not angry division. Let's honor this nation's diversity. Let's respect one another. And let's never misuse for political purposes the most precious document in American history, the Constitution of the United States.

Build unity by honoring diversity? WTF? Misuse the Constitution for political purposes? Is that like all of a sudden, for the first time in the history of the Republic judges now have to be approved in the Senate by a super majority? Is that the kind of politicizing the Constitution that you're talking about Senator? Your party only wants judges who can read things in the Constitution that are not there like the "right" to health care. Like the "right" for cheap prescription drugs. Your party is the party that thinks the Constitution is a "living document" and if there is sumpin' in there that you disagree with but can't get passed in the legislature, you go find a liberal judge who will all of a sudden find some magical words in the Constitution. Poof! PFM!

AUDIENCE: Kerry, Kerry, Kerry...

I just left that audience part in so you could see that the Dimocrats were just eatin' this speech up.

My friends, the high road may be harder, but it leads to a better place.

That really touched me.

And that's why Republicans and Democrats must make this election a contest of big ideas, not small-minded attacks.

This is our time to reject the kind of politics calculated to divide race from race, region from region, group from group.

Have you talked to Michael Moore and Whoopi Goldberg about small minded attacks? Howza 'bout Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson. Howza 'bout the NAACP?
And a big part of your campaign is based on class warfare. Y'know that "tax the rich" stuff.

Maybe some just see us divided into those red states and blue states, but I see us as one America: red, white and blue.

Baby face sees us as two Americas. You guys better start getting your stories straight.

And when I am president, the government I lead will enlist people of talent, Republicans as well as Democrats, to find the common ground, so that no one who has something to contribute to our nation will be left on the sidelines.

Now he's stealing from John Kennedy.

And let me say it plainly: In that cause, and in this campaign, we welcome people of faith. America is not us and them.

Y'see, he's a Catholic who doesn't agree with most of the doctrines of the Catholic Church. So I guess it all depends on what your meaning of faith is.

I think of what Ron Reagan said of his father a few weeks ago, and I want to say this to you tonight: I don't wear my religion on my sleeve, but faith has given me values and hope to live by, from Vietnam to this day, from Sunday to Sunday.

What a fookin' hypocrite!

I don't want to claim that God is on our side.

Then why bring it up?

As Abraham Lincoln told us, I want to pray humbly that we are on God's side.

If He is, then you won't win this election.

And whatever our faith -- whatever our faith, one belief should bind us all: The measure of our character is our willingness to give of ourselves for others and for our country.

Yep. Figgered out how to get out of 'Nam in four months. Then stabbed in the back all of the people he left behind.

These aren't Democratic values.

That's for sure!

These aren't Republican values. They're American values. We believe in them. They're who we are. And if we honor them, if we believe in ourselves, we can build an America that is stronger at home and respected in the world.

So much promise stretches before us. Americans have always reached for the impossible, looked to the next horizon and asked, "What if?"

What if there were no liberals?

Two young bicycle mechanics from Dayton asked, "What if this airplane could take off at Kitty Hawk?" It did that, and it changed the world forever.

A young president asked, "What if we could go to the moon in 10 years?" And now we're exploring the stars and the solar systems themselves.

Wrapping himself in the mantle of John Kennedy again. We knew John Kennedy Senator. You are no John Kennedy.

A young generation of entrepreneurs asked, "What if we could take all the information in a library and put it on a chip the size of a fingernail?" We did, and that, too, changed the world.

And now it's our time to ask, "What if?"

What if this speech will never end? Horrors!

What if we find a breakthrough to cure Parkinson's, diabetes, Alzheimer's and AIDS?

What if?

What if we have a president who believes in science, so we can unleash the wonders of discovery like stem-cell research and treat illness for millions of lives?

We have stem cell research. It turns out that the most promising areas are in adult stem cells and umbilical stem cells and not embryonic stem cells.

What if we do what adults should do, and make sure that all of our children are safe in the afternoons after school? What if we have a leadership that's as good as the American dream, so that bigotry and hatred never again steal the hope or future of any American?

It's a wonderful day in the neighborhood. Why don't you muzzle some of the hatred coming from the left like your fellow Dimocrats calling Bush Hitler and the Republican Party Nazi's. I'm sorry Senator, but there is much more hatred and bigotry spewing from the left than there is from the right.

I learned a lot about these values on that gunboat patrolling the Mekong Delta with Americans -- you saw them -- who come from places as different as Iowa and Oregon, Arkansas, Florida, California.

He was in Viet Nam? No shit?

No one cared where we went to school. No one cared about our race or our backgrounds. We were literally all in the same boat. We looked out, one for the other, and we still do.

Uh. That's not true.

That is the kind of America that I will lead as president: an America where we are all in the same boat.

The Titanic?

Never has there been a moment more urgent for Americans to step up and define ourselves. I will work my heart out. But, my fellow citizens, the outcome is in your hands more than mine.

Do you want to fight terrorism are appease it? If you want to appease them, vote for the Poodle. Ask yourself whom the terrorists would prefer as president.

It is time to reach for the next dream. It is time to look to the next horizon. For America, the hope is there. The sun is rising. Our best days are still to come.

He's channeling Ronald Reagan!

Thank you. Good night. God bless you, and God bless the United States of America.

Thank God the speech is over!