September 09, 2004

Counting Down The Days

That sure happened fast! I sent an e-mail to my manager about a month ago announcing that due to my declining health I was planning on retiring before the end of the year. Last week she came into my office and offered me "a package". That's one of the euphemisms we use for incentives to leave the company. This particular "package" was 13 weeks pay to leave.

I think this "package" goes along with another announcement they just made called Redeployment. It's a program where they will help you find a job in another part of TCIDNN. What it really amounts to is layoffs.

This is just another name. Over the last few years we have had Resource Action and Skill Rebalancing. Now it's Redeployment. They all mean the same thing.

Knock. Knock.

Who's there?

Not you anymore.

They've even gotten cheaper on "the package". Had I taken the last one, I could have received 26 weeks pay.

Anyway, it turns out that I'm gone by the end of October. I have a lot of vacation to take so my last day will probably be October 14. Then I'll go in October 31 and do all the paper work.

Even I was amazed at how fast I'm going out the door, but I suspect my ex-CDSMŽ (Clueless Dipshit Manager) who is now my manager's manager is behind the acceleration of the process. He's been pissed off at me for the last three years and is probably pulling a boner at the thought of me leaving.

Just think, it will not be too long and all of you will finally know which company TCIDNN is. Some people already do just by reading what I write. Resource Action and Skill Rebalancing were dead giveaways.

I've started letting the users I support know that I'm leaving and they're wondering if I'm gonna come back and contract part time. According to my team lead the answer to that is "no". They're not gonna replace me. When I'm gone, I'm gone and from my ex-CDSMŽ"s perspective, good riddance.

They are gonna bring the old network guy back part time so they'll recover that skill. I've been doing most of the work the new network guy was supposed to do.

They are gonna lose configuration planning, sysplex, and base system install. I've been in early ship programs for OS/390 and now z/OS and for the last five years I've had a system up and running by general availability. I will pass on my IBM contacts to my team lead so he can pick that up. Don't know how he'll find the time.

I'll be the first one to admit that I haven't busted my ass for the last three years, but, since I am very good in my particular areas of expertise, I can be very productive with very little effort. Someone is gonna realize that sometime in November.

I'm not bitter 'cause I have had a very good career with TCIDNN. After I'm gone and can reveal the true name of TCIDNN I can write a chronicle of my corporate odyssey. I do feel bad for my team lead who is overworked as it is and now will have to pick up some of the stuff that I do.

So let's see. I'm gonna leave, my team lead is gonna have more work dumped on him, the users I support are gonna get pissed, our headcount will go down by one, and my ex-CDSMŽ will probably get a bonus for cutting staff.

What a company!

Posted by denny at September 9, 2004 08:33 PM  
Comments

I'm envious! I lost big bucks through hi-tech stocks (I Dumb!!). I'll have to put in a few more years. You gonna do a Scott Adams? Maybe you could have your persona team up with Dilbert and kick corporate ass.

Posted by: Bob on September 10, 2004 09:49 AM

This is a very familiar scenario..I think I have lived it.
I know there is so much you have been waiting to do so I am glad this position is almost over.
So now that you have all this extended family via GOC, will you still be there for us? Is that too whiny?

Posted by: maizie on September 10, 2004 12:16 PM

Leaving the TCIDNN on their terms is always hard. I know this is just what happened to My husband this year.

On the brighter side, more time for wine, gardening, LIVING, and BLOGGING! I'm a Major Lurker, read you daily! Just love your comments on TCIDNN. I can see my old company in many of your articles.

Posted by: MariettaDebbie on September 10, 2004 02:09 PM

Hey, I'm so jealous. I've got 207 weeks to go - at least that's what the post-it note says that I have on my cube wall and change every week.

Posted by: bigdocmcd on September 10, 2004 03:17 PM

You're right, Denny. Skills Rebalancing was a dead giveaway. I didn't realize it until recently. I can't believe it. And here all along I loved and admired that company as a consumer. Morons.

I don't know if I'm happy or sad for you. I guess it all depends on how you feel about it. Judging by your post, it appears that you might be a bit...grouchy (sorry, I couldn't help myself).

Posted by: Paul on September 10, 2004 03:21 PM

GREAT NEWS!!! Along with many others of the "extended family" Maizie refers to, I'll be tickled to see more posting. After your vacation sabbatical, of course!!!

Posted by: Indigo on September 10, 2004 06:19 PM

Sounds like Intel.

Posted by: Al on September 10, 2004 06:22 PM

Denny, get tough!

Go back and tell her you've changed your mind, you want to stay!

They'll have to pay you the FULL 26 weeks for you to leave! :)

Posted by: Addison (the other one) on September 10, 2004 07:01 PM

Congratulations on your upcoming retirement from BB. Look at it on the bright side - at least they haven't terminated the pension plan and made it all 401(k) like many other companies have done.

Posted by: Zhang Fei on September 10, 2004 09:09 PM

Good news Denny. I was offered the IBM early out retirement package after 30 years back in 1987. They didn't have to ask me twice. Seventeen years now and I think I've picked up more in retirement bucks than my total IBM earnings. Of course I started in 1957 at $275 per month.

Never looked back. I had no compalints about how I was treated nor about my career there. It was a great run.

I look forward to more regular posting from you. Give us your thoughts on Rathergate, I think Dan followed McAwful's lemmings right over the cliff.

Posted by: EddieP on September 10, 2004 09:38 PM

I'm sorry if I meant to imply that I was sorry to leave or I was leaving on TCIDNN's terms. I was planning on leaving no later than December 31. So, I am actually leaving one to two months earlier than I planned and I get 13 weeks pay as a going away present. I do feel sorry for my users and my team (especially my team lead 'cause he's the one who's getting screwed)since I'm smack in the middle of some projects that I will not have finished before I leave. Plus, I was gonna do the work in migrating the remaining systems off of our last two obsolete processors and that will have to be done by someone else. Once again my team lead gets screwed.

Fear not readers. I will not be taking any time off from my blog, except when I go on a road trip or a ski trip or a dive trip. I'm off to Cayman Brac for a week of diving in two weeks.

EddieP you lucky bastard. I knew some guys who left IBM around that time. Didn't you get five years added to your age and five years added to your time in service for retirement purposes?

Posted by: Denny Wilson on September 10, 2004 10:26 PM

I am aware of your clandestine company ,Denny, because I happen to be a shareholder and they feel it necessary to use that exact term when divulging monthly news. Not a bad company but I can understand your frustration.

Posted by: agdegro on September 11, 2004 05:50 PM

Denny, I'm sorry to hear about your health problems. I was hoping early retirement was because you couldn't stay away from the golf course or the fishing hole any longer and couldn't figure out a way to work it so you got to write it off as a business expense!

Yeah, they will miss you when you're gone, isn't that always how it works. But big corporations aren't know for their collective brain power. Maybe Coca-Cola learned something in the 1980s. But who knows.

Anyway, hope you're feeling better soon. And just exactly what are your plans for the first few weeks of "leisure time"? Sit around your house in your Fruit of the Looms and scratch, watch TV and eat Cheetos right out of the bag?

Posted by: Joni on September 13, 2004 01:03 AM

Just Google "Resource Action and Skill Rebalancing"

Big Blue.

Posted by: Piper on September 13, 2004 07:02 PM
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