Dear Jimmy

To: Joe Edwards
From: Barbra Streisand

Dear Jimmy

I saw you on television the other night debating that Shiney guy. You won hands down! Not only are you smart but you are really, really handsome. You even have better hair than Jeff Kerry. As eloquent and intelligent as he is, you are even better. I really think you should be leading the ticket, but I know that you will be an incredible assistant president.

That evil baldheaded guy kept trying to bombard us with facts and logic. You told us how evil these guys are and why we should elect you because you really, really care for us and the rest of the world. They are warmongers. You want to create alliances. When you guys get elected you will have no trouble getting France and Germany to sign on and the United Nations to get behind us and help us. I know that's true because you told us so. Then we can end this silly war.

After we get out of Irack, which should happen about three months after the election we can ask the rest of the world to forgive us and do important stuff like stopping global warming by signing the Coyote Treaty. I really don't know what coyotes have to do with global warming, but I'm sure you will be happy to explain it to me when I finally meet you at the inaguration.

Did I mention how smart I think you are? You're handsome too. Who was that fat lady you had taking care of your children? Was your wife unable to come to the debate? I just bet she's a real beauty to snag a nice looking guy like you.

Speaking of global warming and alternate sources of energy I have some other ideas that I've written to other prominent Democrats about. We have solar power right? We make electricity from sunlight. The moon shines right? Why don't we make electricity from moonlight? That way we could still make electricity after dark. Why don't we use starlight too?

I've got a lot of other ideas that I'm sure you will be happy to hear about. I can't wait until after the election when you and that tall guy win.

Luv ya,
Babs

Posted by denny at October 7, 2004 09:11 PM  Category: Faxes From Babs