This was sent to me by my buddy Pres.
Then they vote?? Your future is in their hands......?
Comforting to live in an age of "one idiot, one vote".
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking
him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"
When another person jumped in and explained that the sun rises in the
east (and has for some time), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't
keep up with that stuff."
And then she voted.
I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One day I
got a call from an Individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week".
He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call
quickly, I said, "Uh. Pacific."
And then he voted.
So my colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard one of the admin assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but
"didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."
And then she voted.
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut through
a seatbelt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the passenger side door's
map pocket.
And then she voted.
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought two cases. The cashier multiplied two times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
And then they all voted.
I was hanging out with a friend of mine when we saw a woman walk by us with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I had to explain to her that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.
And then she voted.
My girlfriend and I were picking up some sandwiches from the sub place
last week and she asked the clerk which one of two sandwiches was better. The clerk didn't have an opinion but did say that the first sandwich was more expensive. My girlfriend got a quizzical look on her face and asked, "If that's the case, why are they both listed with the same price on the menu?"
To this, the clerk responded, "I don't think they tax the turkey."
And then he voted.
My wife and I were trying to find a carry-on suitcase in one of those huge discount stores and had become hopelessly lost. We stopped and asked a department manager where we might find suitcases. "Did you try in Luggage?" she asked, and returned to what she was doing.
And then she voted.
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained professionals and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
And then she voted.
And I have one to add to this. Right before the Atlanta Olympics someone from New Mexico tried to buy some tickets. The person taking the order said that they only sent tickets to places in the US. The person ordering the tickets said that New Mexico was indeed in the United States. Getting nowhere with that person he asked to speak to her supervisor. She said the policy was to only send tickets to places in the United States. He tried to explain to her that New Mexico was a state. Her response? "New Mexico, old Mexico, it makes no difference."
They probably also vote and I can guarntee you that they vote for Dimocrats.
The Florida fiasco pointed out that there are some people entirely too stupid to vote.
My opinion is that only people who pay taxes should be allowed to vote. That would eliminate a lot of Dimocrats right there.
I also believe that unless you can identify your two senators and your congressman you should not be allowed to vote. That would eliminate even more Dimocrats.
Stupid people should not be allowed to vote.
As Bill Engvall would say, "Here's your sign."
Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on October 31, 2004 08:50 PMIf even one of those anecdotes is actually true, it would be surprising. You know what they say: never let the truth get in the way of a good story.
Posted by: Blame America on October 31, 2004 09:01 PMBlame America - The last anecdote came from the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation right before the Olympics.
Posted by: Denny Wilson on October 31, 2004 09:30 PMIt seems that some one who is ignorant of New Mexico's location (and therefore geography) would be most comfortable with the candidate who is the most contemptuous of the world outside the US.
I tried to find the data on how long Bush waited to actually venture outside the US, if I remember, it wasn't until late in his life, until duty forced it upon him.
Posted by: Blame America on October 31, 2004 09:48 PMBlame America:
1. Most, if not all, the above little stories come from widely distributed public sources; most are true as it's often easier to find real dumb people stories than invent stuff like this.
2. If GWB stayed on US soil until "late in his life" as you put it, it was to further the betterment of the world in general and USA in particular, unlike John Kerry who went O/S early to fight for the Communists.
3. The quoted stories just go to validate "Jim's Theory of The Human Race":
Common sense is the least common of all human traits.
Unfortunately Blame America, you're part of the more-common "no sense" crowd.
Posted by: Jim Riley on October 31, 2004 11:30 PMAh I see Guilt Trip is crapping on several blogs tonight. The Lortab it pushes in its e-mail address must have been particularly strong this evening.
Ignore it and it'll probably retreat back to the slimey rock it calls home...
--TwoDragons
Posted by: Denita TwoDragons on October 31, 2004 11:48 PMAnyone got a good argument that if you don't pay federal or state income taxes you shouldn't be allowed to vote in the respective elections?
I can't think of one.
And since Blame America seems to be a bit of a Doubting Thomas about the depth of stupidity out there (thus proving he's never held a job, or perhaps even left his house), here are some examples perhaps he can relate to.
Some people think we went to war with Iraq over WMDs.
And they'll vote.
Some people believe Bush banned stem cell research.
And they'll vote.
Some people still think the missing explosives were stolen by looters.
And they'll vote.
Some people are certain gun control works.
And they'll vote.
Some people think bin Laden wants Bush to win.
And they'll vote.
Some people still think Saddam wasn't a supporter of terrorism.
And they'll vote.
Some people think the media has no bias.
And they'll vote.
Some people belive the UN could defend the world more effectively than America.
And they'll vote.
Need I go on?
If you believe any of those things, please...don't forget to vote on November 3rd. Don't miss that date...Wednesday, November 3rd.
--Toren
My 2 senators are Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein. My represenative is Mary Bono.....oh god that's depressing.
Posted by: Robert on November 1, 2004 12:51 AMAll points well taken! Especially the one about not voting if you don't pay taxes. Wasn't something along that order hard for our forefathers to take (taxation without representation). I say, no say in representation if there is no taxation!
Posted by: Michele on November 1, 2004 04:47 AMBlame America - I intentionally left out one piece of info about the Olympic incident. Both of the women in question were black and I'm sure that they were products of the Atlanta gummint schools. Since they are back they have a better than 90% chance of being Kerry voters. Remember the Dimocrats' policies regarding black people. Keep 'em dumb and keep 'em on the liberal plantation.
Posted by: Denny Wilson on November 1, 2004 08:49 AMDamn! You mean New mexico isn't a country?
Posted by: Jimmy on November 1, 2004 11:32 AMI renew my argument in favor of a basic civics test before being allowed to register to vote.
How many states are there?
How many branches of federal government are there, what are they and their roles?
Posted by: daniel on November 1, 2004 12:12 PMHow many states are there?
50
How many branches of federal government are there, what are they and their roles?
Judicial, Executive, Congress Critters (forget off hand what it's really called)
Judicial is to interpret the laws.
Congress makes suggestions for laws.
Executive reviews suggestions and passes the one's it likes or thinks are good.
Herb Khoel senate
Russ Feingold senate
Ron Kind Represenative
Thieves and liars the lot of them.
Posted by: Deathknyte on November 2, 2004 03:04 AMMy sister-in-law is from New Mexico, and she's had to deal with idiots who had no clue that it is, in fact, a state in the US. I find that example entirely plausible.
A lot of the rest of them, sadly, also have the stink of truth about them.
Posted by: Squidley on November 3, 2004 01:02 AM