I just can't believe this shit! They have some dimwits in Florida who are suffering from PEST (Post Election Selection Trauma) because Bush won the election and are being treated by a psychiatrist. Is it any wonder why I call these assholes Dimocrats? Jesus H. Christ! Perky Katie Couric was dressed in black the morning after the election. Judy Woodruff was almost in tears on election night. Eleanor Clift looked like she had been crying all night the day after the election. What is going on here?
I have really had a lot of fun reading all the moonbat liberal columnists since the election who just can't understand how incredibly stupid the American public is. How could they possibly vote for Bush, especially since Old Media spent most of the election trying to educate the populace about how they should vote for Kerry?
The dimwits have their PEST and I have my PEGFYS (Post Election GFY Syndrome).
To Michael Moore. He claims that the reason the Dimocrats lost is because he failed to educate 51% of the population which we know, since the liberals have told us this, is racist, homophobic, stupid, and Jesus freaks. Michael is gonna make a new movie called Farenheit 911 and 1/2 which will be released in two years and which will also coincidentally be his weight at the time. I stole that joke. I read in today's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation that obesity is bad for sex. Who knew?
Obesity greatly impairs sexual quality of life for men and women, Duke University Medical Center researchers found in a quality of life study of about 1,200 participants, affecting enjoyment, desire, frequency of sex and even its mechanics.
Michael Moore having sex? Eeeewwww! Hey Michael! GFY!
Babs had to check in with some quote from Thomas Jefferson.
"A little patience, and we shall see the reign of witches pass over, their spells dissolve, and the people, recovering their true sight, restore their government to its true principles. It is true that in the meantime we are suffering deeply in spirit, and incurring the horrors of a war and long oppressions of enormous public debt......If the game runs sometimes against us at home we must have patience till luck turns, and then we shall have an opportunity of winning back the principles we have lost, for this is a game where principles are at stake."
First off, I don't think Babs knows the difference between Thomas Jefferson and George Jefferson. Second, using principles when referring to the Dimocrat Party, the party of Bill Clinton, just cracks me up. Hey Babs! GFY!
John Kerry. Hey John. That was a great move trying to use your Viet Nam service to innoculate yourself from your anti-defense policies in the Senate. It's a good thing you had the Old Media on your side. Otherwise you would have lost in a landslide. And was it your idea to pick Babyface as your VP? I told my friend Michael you were gonna do that to try to pick up at least one southern state. He said that Edwards wouldn't even deliver North Carolina. I agreed but said you would do it anyway. Good pick Flipper! You deserved to lose. GFY!
Dan Rather. Way to destroy your career Dan. If CBS were smart they would fire your ass but they have decided to go right down the tubes with you. They may never recover from Memogate. CBS News has become a laughingstock. What's even funnier is CBS fired a producer for cutting in on CSI to announce Arafat's death, but has declined to fire a producer taken in by obvious forgeries to present a bogus story. Way to go! Dan and CBS News. GFY!
Poor Al Franken. Al, I remember when you used to be funny. GFY!
Old Media. New York Times, Washington Post, LA Times, ABCNBCCBSCNNNPRPBS, and the rest of you shills for the Dimocrat Party, you are on your way out. You no longer have a monopoly on news. You are slowly becoming irrelevant. GFY!
Lawrence O'Donnell. Wow! Did you ever lose it the night you were on MSNBC with John O'Neil. Then you started talking about seccession. Have you been measured for your straitjacket yet? GFY!
To the guy who penned that screed about how the blue states didn't need us morons in the red states and how the Founding Fathers (except for George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe, Patrick Henry, and a bunch of other guys) all came from the blue states, I hear you are from Wisconsin. Lots of Founding Fathers came from there right? GFY!
Little Tommie Daschle. Look where obstructionism got you. Eventually running as a conserviative and governing as a liberal will catch up with you. Ask Max "Stumpy" Cleland. I don't mind kicking someone when he is down. Too bad you weren't able to manufacture enough Indian votes like you did for Tim Johnson two years ago. GFY!
The Dimocrat Party. Where to begin. You worship Bill Clinton who has been a total disaster. Yes, he was a two term president, but he was responsible for the Republicans taking over Congress. He stabbed you in the back with NAFTA and welfare reform yet you still love him. His pick for head of the DNC, Terry McAuliffe, has been another disaster, as you have become even more of a minority party under his leadership. The one time you should have listened to Bubba on gay marriage, you didn't. Here's my advice. Don't listen to Zell Miller and elect Howard Dean to run the DNC. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! GFY!
All you liberals who have threatened to leave the country to go to Canada, France, and New Zealand, WTF are you waiting for? GFY!
Damn! This has been almost as much fun as bitch slapping.
Posted by denny at November 16, 2004 09:12 PMWith a strait face, the Dems let Al Sharpton into a presidential debate. What more does anyone need to know about them?
Can we get a GFY for France and Germany too? Please? Pretty please?
Posted by: daniel on November 16, 2004 11:16 PMDenny:
That screed was absolutely refreshing! As always, an utter joy to read!
Posted by: David on November 16, 2004 11:56 PM"Poor Al Franken. Al, I remember when you used to be funny"
Denny, you must have a better memory than me. My first memories of Al (other than as a writer) was the Franken and Davis routine on SNL. I thought the guy was a jerk. His self parody, "The Al Franken Decade" confirmed it. How that buck-toothed moron ever got a gig on camera baffles me.
Posted by: marcel on November 17, 2004 07:08 AMDid you see Al Sharpen has recovered from his failed attempt to host a reality TV show on SpikeTV. Its something like this job sucks, what the hell does he know about working a regular job.
Posted by: Greg DiCroce on November 17, 2004 09:19 AMFranken has always been a petty, conceited, overfed, momma's boy with an amazing ability to cry from both sides of his mouth while spewing sewage from the front.
He strikes my as being the kind of guy who tries to impress women by shoving a potato in his shorts and then gets it wrong by shoving down the back and then pretends that he intended to be funny. Franken isn't a jokester, he's a joke.
Posted by: The Moose on November 17, 2004 10:07 AMNow that you're retired, I expect you to sit at your computer and crank out brilliant stuff like this 24/7. You're a treasure.
Posted by: Woody on November 17, 2004 10:47 AMI attribute it to the "phases of trauma" thing.
You know, the old psych thing where a person goes through several stages coping with a personal disaster:
Shock, denial, bargaining, anger, depression and acceptance.
And apparently those on the left have hit all these stages for multiple reasons, all simultaneously.
First, the Boomer generation coping with it's disappearing youth. They have to cope with the fact that the youth-obsessed culture they created no longer cares about them, because they're no longer young. And of course, because they're the boomers-- the Pig in the Python-- their trauma has trickled down to the rest of us, in the form of cultural obsessions.
In the 70's: Shock. "We're not young anymore?" Shock would explain some of the fashions of the time.. it's hard to pick out rational clothing when you're fresh out of Hippy College and still stunned like a poleaxed steer.
In the 80's: Denial. "No, we're still young, really! Put "thirtysomething on !!"
In the 90's:Bargaining "I swear, God, I'll eat nothing but oat bran and exercise 4 hours a day if you keep me young! I'll botox, I'll tummy tuck, I'll facelift, I'll use Oil of Olay internally!"
In the 00's: ANGER "You BASTARDS! Why don't you pay attention to me anymore! I made this society dammit!"
And now depression. "Aw shit, I'm old...."
Likewise on a more political front. The Reagan 80's left them in shock. The Clinton 90's was their state of denial. The Bush election drove them to a fury of rioting, "protesting," vandalism and more. And now the Bush RE-election has dumped them in depression.
From two different directions, it's been dumped on them: their cultural and political relevence is over. They're being put out to pasture and nothing can be done about it.... and their neophytes and acolytes are catching their contagious mood.
PLEASE, God, PLEASE keep them there until they're all in an old folk's home or pushing up daisies.
Depressed Hippietards may be annoying, but at least they're self-eliminating.
Depression follows disappointment. Disappointment happens when you realize your planet is doomed to destruct at the hands of a bunch of re-pubic-klans.
The 51% who "allegedly" won the last election are IDIOTS. Lemmings who can't think for themselves.
We are all doomed and you are all idiots. A bunch of idiots who have had sand kicked in your faces too much and now that your chimp has been "re-appointed" you feel you have the muscle to kick it back. Too bad you can't even think your way out of a paper bag. Bush is a douchebag and you're all a bunch of dolts.
I dare any of you to come up with an intelligent rebuttal. I know you can't.
-A Liberal Elitist.
Posted by: Patriot on November 17, 2004 05:00 PMOh look--it's Yet Another Unoriginal Leftist Screech-Monkey!
--TwoDragons
Posted by: Denita TwoDragons on November 17, 2004 06:20 PMPatriot - You lost! Deal with it! He wasn't appointed, he won an election. You're one of the idiots I wrote this about. GFY! And if you want to try to have a battle of wits with me at least come armed. You're one of the dumb liberals who would take a knife to a gunfight. Read The Rules. Try to make your insults entertaining.
Posted by: Denny Wilson on November 17, 2004 06:47 PMWasn't it Ann Coulter who called this election"The gift that keeps on giving"...The moonbat reactions are worth it all by themselves.
Posted by: big al on November 17, 2004 08:22 PMPat - riot:
To improve your rant, as Denny suggested, I suggest starting with:
http://thesaurus.reference.com/
You can at least find words in addition to idiot.
For example:
Patriot is a mental defective.
Patriot is a dimwit.
Ah, the list goes on and on. Aint the internet grand? Thanks AlGore for inventin it!
Posted by: daniel on November 17, 2004 08:36 PMbig Al - Actually, in her latest column she refers to it as the "loss that keeps on giving".
Posted by: Denny Wilson on November 17, 2004 09:14 PM