This is sumpin' my sister sent me long ago.
The Difference Between Republicans And Democrats
Q: What's a conservative?
A: A liberal who made it through adolescence
Q: How many republicans does it take to raise your taxes?
A: None. The democrats do that.
Q: What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?
A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.
Q: What is the difference between an intelligent liberal and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
Q: What is a conservative?
A: A liberal who's been mugged.
Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a prostitute?
A: The prostitute give value for the money she takes.
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead Democrat in the road?
A: Vultures will eat the skunk.
Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a catfish?
A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish.
Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a lawyer?
A: Chelsea.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
Q: Why did God create Democrats?
A: In order to make used car salesmen look good.
Q: What is a recent Democrat graduate's usual question in his first job?
A: What would you like to have with your french fries, sir?
Q. How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just one, but it really gets screwed.
Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It's irrelevant; they still don't know they're in the dark!
One of my readers asked if I was mellowing out since my retirement. Nope, not really. It's just that time of year and how many times can I rant about the liberals saying the only reason Kerry lost is because 51% of the country is stupid? It's like when I made my CDSMŽ (Clueless Dipshit Manager) look like an idiot. He did all the work, I just pointed it out to everyone else. The liberals are making themselves look like idiots and I'm just sitting back and enjoying the show.
Obviously when I went to Dallas for Kim du Toit's birthday I was on my best behavior because Connie du Toit said I was not anything like she expected me to be. I think that was a nice way of saying that I was not the total asshole she expected. See. You can take me out in public.
I enjoy your site even if you aren't ranting. I'm also happy to see the liberals still "don't get it" They haven't learned a thing from their mistakes. They just can't accept the FACT that the majority of Americans DO understand their "message", and they reject it ! That's a recipe for losing again in 2006 and 2008.
Posted by: Robert on November 27, 2004 07:54 PM"Fact"? hmm robert. is that the sort of factthat liked husain to bin laden, or the fact that iraq had wmd. or, say, the fact that republicans are gullabble enougho swalow bush's bullshit about such things. and you call liberals stupid? ha.
"oh yeah, tthey do haave wmd because bush says so."
"9/11 was ccaused because arabs hate our freedoms, not because of our forign policy and several socio-economic causes"
"I'm not brainwashed, but americcca is the bestest country on earth"
oh please. dismissing republiccan bliefs is like shooting fish in a barrel. the most telling fact is the majority of republicans are religios creationists. ha! "god made us. we are the best. bin laden is sent from satan" i.q = 0
Posted by: matthew g on November 28, 2004 08:27 AMIdiot
Posted by: Robert on November 28, 2004 08:42 PMRepublicans spell better too.
Posted by: Robert on November 28, 2004 08:45 PMMatthew, learn how to spell and you might be considered intelligent.
I don't remember any proof being brought out about Hussien and bin Laden being connected. Of course there was speculation, but nobody ever stated it as a fact.
I call liberals stupid because they are. For example, Clinton went on national TV while he was in office stating that Iraq had WMDs. Kerry made the same statement during the Dimocratic Presidential Primary debacles. Who's stupid now? Damn, it must be those good for nothing Dimocrats.
9/11 was caused by an extremist faction of the Islamic faith who do hate our way of life. They do hate our foreign policy moves and the way we try and help people out. We are horrible people because we go all over the world and help people. Damn, I'm starting to sound more like a dim wit by the word.
Give me any democrat belief and I'll not only dismiss it, but do so with real facts... not those fakie things that you mentioned as being facts. Reading your post I'd have to rate your relative IQ about the same level as a rock.
Posted by: dJake on November 28, 2004 08:45 PMWhat's the difference between a dead rattlesnake in the road and a dead dimocrat in the road?
There'll be skid marks in front of the snake.
Posted by: Gerry on November 28, 2004 09:16 PM"Give me any democrat belief and I'll not only dismiss it, but do so with real facts."
It is a Democrat belief that puppies are adorable, and that they should not be smashed with mallets.
Go on. :)
Posted by: Rob on November 29, 2004 11:13 AMHarrumph. According to United States vs. SomeoneIJust MadeUp, it has been established that puppies are, in fact, not adorable, but rather 'cute'. QED.
Posted by: Dave on November 29, 2004 03:34 PM1. Not all puppies are adorable, some are downright ugly.
2. You probably shouldn't smash any puppies with mallets. Although I have seen quite a few squished by tires.
Posted by: dJake on November 30, 2004 02:54 AMsome of the resulting conversation from a link and copy of the jokes posted here http://www.livejournal.com/users/rhjunior/170840.html is funny as hell
livejournal is libbyland.
Posted by: Jake on December 1, 2004 10:11 PMJake - Thanks for the link. I thoroughly enjoyed the thread.
Posted by: Denny Wilson on December 1, 2004 11:08 PM