Didja ever read the book or see the movie The Mouse That Roared? The premise of the book was a small country figgered out that it was very feasable financially to lose a war to the United States because unlike most countries that win wars, the United States always pays to rebuild the country and gives substantial aid, i.e. The Marshall Plan after World War II. Unfortunately, the small country inadvertantly won the war.
Contrast France after World War I which imposed harsh reparations on Germany (one of the causes of Hitler's rise to power) to the United States which paid massive amounts of money to rebuild post WWII Germany and Japan. This had an additional adverse economic effect on the United States in the area of steel production. The Europeans and Japan had more modern steel production facilities and could produce steel cheaper than United States steel companies that had older plants.
I bring this up to illustrate what is going on in Fallujah. Despite what the naysayers are preaching, the Fallujah operation was a military success. The only thing that would be considered a success by the liberals, other than the insurgents winning, would have been zero casualties.
As we know, according to Michael Moore, these insurgents are equivalent to our Minutemen. Yep! How fondly I recall being taught about the American Revolution and how the brave Minutemen at Lexington and Concord used ordinary Americans as human shields when fighting the British. And who could forget the beheadings by the Minutemen as they screamed "God is Great"?
The Romans knew how to take care of their enemies. When they defeated Carthage for the final time, they sold the inhabitants into slavery, razed the city, and sowed the ground with salt.
We are rebuilding Fallujah. We are giving grants to citizens to help rebuild the houses that were destroyed in the operation. The Romans would definitely not be proud of us.
I keep saying we're not too good with this empire shit. Haven't we stolen any oil yet? And when are we gonna start building that pipeline in Afghanistan? That's why we went to war there isn't it? That's what Michael Moore said. It's been three years. Why hasn't Haliburton been given that contract yet?
All the previous empires raped and looted the defeated countries. We spend money on them. WTF is going on here?
And what's with all these captives we take? After Caesar had conquered Gaul, a leader by the name of Vercingetorix arose and lead the Gauls in an insurrection. Vercingetorex was good, but he was no Caesar. Caesar quelled the uprising. One of the last towns he reconquered was Uxellodunum. Caesar didn't put up with any bullshit. He didn't put panties on the heads of the captured enemy. He cut off the hands of the warriors and sold the women and children into slavery. This was a message: Don't fuck with Caesar. The French have been pussies ever since.
We've come a long way. We rebuild the infrastructure. We build schools. We innoculate children.
Three years after overthrowing the Taliban, Afghanistan held their first ever election. Women were allowed to vote. Still no oil pipeline. Failure.
Iraq is gonna hold elections in January. Failure.
All this is happening faster than what happened at the end of WWII.
Liberals call this failure.
I wonder what they would consider a success?
Posted by denny at December 15, 2004 10:03 PMAll Hail Caesar and Sir Grouchy! Sing it my bruthah!
Hey guess what, right this minute for once, in December it's warmer in the tundra than in the land of Urinal and Constipation. *Brag*
Success would have been two more years of ignored UN sanctions, French/German/Russian malfeasance and duplicity, the ineluctable lifting of UN sanctions all together and full reinstitution of Saddam's weapons programs--all under the auspices of the vaunted, wise, moral, and 'legitimate' "International Community".
When a weapon used by Saddam made it to US shores, then--and only then--would it be a true failure. George Bush was asleep at the wheel and all that. He should have done something, you know, pre-emptive to protect us. Oh, the howls and banshee-like screams of feigned moral outrage from the usual corners would be piercing.
The only thing that would be considered a success by the liberals, other than the insurgents winning, would have been zero casualties.
You forgot "100% American casualties"...
GOC satire with a broad cutlass! Hat's off to Denny!
HIP HIP, HUZZAH!
Posted by: The Moose on December 16, 2004 02:16 PMI'm not sure what Michael Moore would consider a success........but I think it would involve a jelly doughnut or two.
Posted by: Robert on December 16, 2004 03:48 PMJC wanted to let his Centurians camp at a town in Gaul, for which they'd all have been paid. The town refused. The Romans dealt with them, and dragged the town's top religious figure, a woman, back to Rome, in chains, as a slave. I've got a few denarii that celebrate this, with her likeness on the back (cute babe, too, far better looking than the Empresses of the time).
We, however, give Saddam a bath and a shave, put him up in comfy quarters where he can write bad poetry, and, a year later, still haven't even started the trial that he doesn't deserve.
I say, let's try things the old Roman way, just for a change, and see how they work out.
Posted by: Jeannette on December 16, 2004 06:09 PMI think when Iraq finally does deal with Sadaam his punishment will fit his crimes. How ironic that all these assholes about to go on trial all have French lawyers. Could there possibly be a lower form of life than a French lawyer?
Posted by: Robert on December 16, 2004 06:40 PMIf it wasn't for those French "pussies", Denny, we'd all be speaking Arabic.
Posted by: Robin Palm on December 16, 2004 10:17 PMRobin - If you're gonna make a comment like that at least be specific so everyone knows what you are talking about. I assume that you are referring to the Battle of Tours where Charles Martel saved Europe for Christianity. In your alternate history, the Arabs would then have to conquer England. Plus they would have had to complete conquering Spain and Italy. And golly what incentive would there have been to find the New World? The main reason Columbus went sailing off was to find a route to the East because of the cost of going through Arab and Turkish controlled lands. And looking at the state of Islamic society today not only would we be speaking Arabic, but we would all be living in a Third World hellhole. But OK. I'll give one to the French pussies. Are you happy?
BTW, what if Alexander hadn't died? He had plans for conquering the western Mediterranean. That would have stopped Rome. What if Caesar hadn't died? He was planning on avenging Crassus. He might have named someone other than Augustus as his heir. Some historians say he was thinking of adopting Brutus. Since he had been nailing Brutus' mother, Servilia, for quite some time some wags thought that Btutus was actually Caesar's son. He might have left the Empire to Caesarion, his son by Cleopatra. Who knows? We can play these games as long as you want. I think my knowledge of history is better than yours. I know for a fact my knowledge of 60's and 70's history is better than yours since I lived through those years.
Posted by: Denny Wilson on December 16, 2004 10:50 PMGood one, Denny!
I just can't get too worked up over Saddom's first talk with his lawyer right now. In my mind, what I wanted to see was for him to be tried in some half-assed, kangaroo court on a drum head and marched out into some courtyard with a bag on his head and shot in front of camera's. You know! Give him a taste of his own medicine.
Posted by: The Moose on December 16, 2004 11:02 PMDenny, I didn't think I needed to specific because I figured you would know what I was referring to, and I was right.
Didn't really mean to uncork the whole bottle of alternate history... It's just an amusing expression.
I mean... we say to the French all the time "If it wasn't for the Americans... you'd all be speaking German."
Oh yeah, that Napoleon guy? The one who went down and beat up on the Mamluks in Egypt? Then at Britain's nudging, went back to France and conquered the whole continent, minus said Britain? Yeah, that guy. Man. What a puss.
Napoleon was a Corsican, not a frenchman. If you dont belive me go find a Corsican and ask them if they are french.
Posted by: Deathknyte on December 17, 2004 04:35 AMThere seems to be a general rule that the French Army only wins when not led by a Frenchman.
Posted by: addison on December 17, 2004 06:49 AMOr young girls who hear voices. Then they burn them.
Elizabeth
Imperial Keeper
PS If it wasn't for Ferdinand and Isabella conquering Granada and getting the loot, as well as not having to finance armies, they wouldn't have had the money to finance Columbus. So, in effect, Islam is one of the basic reasons there is a United States.
Thanks, Islam!
"Liberals call this failure. I wonder what they would consider a success?"
It's obvious. Only if our troops got nuked would they consider it a success. Just remember that anything that hurts America is a liberal success. Any questions?
Posted by: Vulgorilla on December 17, 2004 10:56 AMRobin - But maybe some of my other readers would know.
Elizabeth - You mean Isabella didn't pawn her jewels to finance Columbus? ;)
Posted by: Denny Wilson on December 17, 2004 12:25 PMIf I remember correctly, she had pawned them to finance the war and she threatened to pawn them again if Ferdinand didn't give his consent for Columbus' voyage (of course, since I'm middle aged, I may not remember correctly). But look at the date Grenada fell and the Moors were expelled: 1492.
Elizabeth
Imperial Keeper