Monday Pun 12-20-2004

Since It's almost Christmas, here are a whole big bunch of groaners sent to me by my friend Gwen.

ETERNAL QUESTIONS TO PONDER:

If you take an Asian person and spin him around several times, does he
become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland
called "Holes?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

If 99 is Ninety Nine and 22 is Twenty two, why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who
drives a race car not called a racist?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing
night gowns?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two
cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to
begin with.

If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get
a Philips Screwdriver?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a "whack"?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in
the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you that a wall has wet
paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

Posted by denny at December 20, 2004 12:00 AM