Christmas Spirit

On Christmas Eve my sister, Sherry, her husband Ryan, and I went to a party at one of their neighbors'. Sherry told Ryan and me that we had to be on our best behavior and don't talk politics! It seems our hostess is from the Peoples Republic of Taxachusetts and Sherry thinks that she might be a Dimocrat. Horrors!

It turns out we didn't have to worry about our hostess. We did have to put up with the LMB (Loud Mouth Bitch).

Our hostess had put out a real nice spread with roast beef for sandwiches, chicken wings, veggies with dip, fruit, and shrimp. Yummy!

I was calmly drinking wine and eating shrimp when all of a sudden my ears were assaulted with ranting from the LMB about Turkey joining the European Union. She was against it, I guess, because her husband (a rather mousey fellow) was Greek. I pointed out (very calmly I might add) that it wasn't likely to happen and even if it did, it would only weaken the EU which is good for us. Anyway, the EU is doomed because France wants to run it. BWAHAHAHAHA!

She kept on ranting so I went back to drinking wine and eating shrimp and tried to ignore her. Fat chance!

The next thing I know she's going on about the war. The first thing she said was there was gonna be a draft and if it happened she was gonna send her two sons to Canada. We could only hope that she would go with them.

I very calmly asked her who had introduced the two draft bills in Congress? Correct answer: Charles Rangel in the House and Ernest Foghorn Leghorn Hollings in the Senate. Both Dimocrats. Ryan also pointed out that the current Army doesn't want draftees. He's more of an authority on that than the LMB. His son is in the Army. It didn't matter to her. Bush was gonna have a draft. Remembering what my sister had made me promise, I just shut up and went back to drinking wine and eating shrimp.

Good wine. Good shrimp.

Somewhere along the line, the LMB claimed that she was a moderate. Yeah and Bill Clinton is honest and celibate.

And how could she be a good "moderate" if she didn't mention Haliburton. Holy crap! She's getting her talking points from the "moderate" wing of the Dimocrat Party. She also stated that thousands (Yep! she said thousands) of our soldiers were dying in Iraq.

I'm still sitting there with my mouth closed except when I'm putting in shrimp or veggie dip and sipping wine.

Good wine. Good veggie dip.

Then she said how much she hated living amongst bible thumpers who wanted to control women's bodies. At that time Ryan almost said sumpin' about how the South Carolina bible thumpers were his people. He was born and raised in South Carolina. I thought of the old Lewis Grizzard line about Yankees who complained about Southerners: Delta is ready when you are.

It is hard to believe, but neither Ryan nor I got into an argument with this booger eatin' moh-ron.

That was true Christmas Spirit.

By the way, did I tell you how good the food and wine was?

Posted by denny at December 26, 2004 06:06 PM