Today's Monday pun comes from Paul.
A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with
love and compassion.
After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy.
With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his
head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then brsts into a whoop of joy.
The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"!
The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.
Swoooop! Two arms pops out! The bar goes wild. The father, crying and
wailing, begs his son to drink again.
The patrons chant "Take another drink"!
The bartender ignores the whole affair.
By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it.
Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos.
The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands
up on his new legs and stumbles to the left....then to the right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly.
The bar falls silent.
The father moans in grief.
The bartender sighs and says...
"He should have quit while he was a head!"
Posted by denny at January 31, 2005 12:00 AM*sigh* That one was a travesty.
Posted by: Funkalicious on January 31, 2005 01:13 AMoh dear. I thought it'd be something aabout being legless.
I might just owe you an apology over iraq. the high turnout at the polls clearly sshows that democracy is being embraced. soon, thaat country will have a legitimate government of its own, a democratic one. I cannot criticise this, and therefore am willing to admit that i might be rong about the invasion.
Posted by: matthew on January 31, 2005 08:23 AMThis joke ,quite possibly, was the sickest,most perverse,disgusting effort at humor I have ever seen. Thank You ,Thank You, Thank You!!! In order for anything to be funny it must have a root in pain (why else do we laugh when someone slips on the ice or spills something or drops something very fragile) That was a awesome effort..keep up the good work
Posted by: Arathorn on January 31, 2005 09:56 AMThat was a long way to go to eat that much shit, wasn't it?
The old ones are always the best ones (aren't we?)
Posted by: GOC in Winston Salem on January 31, 2005 10:26 AMCan't say I didn't see it coming.
Posted by: The Moose on January 31, 2005 12:58 PMDoh! I thought it was going to be the similar old joke where the parents find that they have a cure for their son's condition, then when they tell him they have a big surprise for him, he screams, "Oh, God, no! Not another hat!"
Posted by: Dar on January 31, 2005 02:23 PMI should have known,see what a little ice storm does. I copied and sent to my buddy in Texas, he deserves it.
Posted by: Jack on January 31, 2005 02:24 PMOMG. hahahhahahaha
Posted by: Lark on January 31, 2005 03:12 PMIt took a lot of guts to say that, Matthew. I'm both proud and glad you were willing to do so. And I know Denny will feel the same way.
As for the joke...*groan* I didn't even need to read the punchline. I knew what it was before I even got halfway through. Musta been the fact that my Dad told me that joke several months ago! ;-)
--TwoDragons
Posted by: Denita TwoDragons on January 31, 2005 04:35 PMThat is hilarious!
You've got jokes I've never heard. Where've I been???
Saw that one coming from waaaayyyy down the street.
Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on January 31, 2005 07:44 PM*GROAN* - He obviously drank one for the road.
Posted by: Vulgorilla on January 31, 2005 08:53 PM