Twin Deficits

Some booger eatin' moh-ron furriner, in the comments of my Kyoto post, bitched about our budget deficit and our trade deficit. I have solutions to them, just like I had a solution to global warming.

If he's a furriner, he should really be happy that we're running a trade deficit. That means we're buying more shit from the rest of the world than we're selling. It has been stated by the left that we are 4% of the world population but we produce 25% of the greenhouse gases. Guess what? We also produce 25% of the economic activity. The United States economy, the largest economy in the world, is the engine that powers the world economy. Does this asshat really want us to quit importing products from the rest of the world? Does he realize what a depression this would cause? Nope, 'cause he's a fucktard.

He also was bragging about how the Euro is worth $1.34. That's a good thing? That makes European products more expensive. Ask the French wine industry how they feel about a high Euro. They're crying to the French gummint for subsidies because sales are down, especially American sales. Cause, meet effect. Or, as I like to say, "Fuck the French". Yes, I'm still buying French wine, but I bought futures, which means that because of the rise in the Euro, I'm paying prices below the current market value. They ain't making any money off of me. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

OK. First I'm gonna fix the trade deficit.

1. Cut off all foreign aid except to countries that are our friends. That means we don't bribe Egypt to the tune of $2 billion a year to not wage war with Israel. No tsunami aid to Muslim countries. They hate us. Fuck 'em. No money to the Palestinians. AIDS money to Africa? Nope. Fuck 'em. This also helps with the budget deficit.

2. Get out of the United Nations and kick them out of New York. We can find a better use for our money and their headquarters than housing a bunch of America hating pissant countries' diplomats. This also helps our budget deficit.

3. Have Europe pay us the money we spent rebuilding their countries after WWll with interest. Here's the bill. Pay up. And while those ungrateful bastards are scraping up the money to do that, they can pay us for protecting them from the Soviet Union during the Cold War. This will also help our budget deficit.

4. Steal oil from Iraq. When is this shit gonna start happening? The barking moonbats on the left claim that is why we're in Iraq. "No blood for oil!" Stealing oil rather than paying for it would really help our balance of trade deficit.

5. Put up a toll gate at the Strait of Hormuz. Since the United States Navy keeps the sealanes safe, I think we should be paid for that. It will cost $10 a barrel to get through. This would also help the budget deficit.

OK. I've fixed the trade deficit and made a cut in the budget deficit. Now, I'm gonna finish the job.

1. Eliminate the Department of Education. It has completed the job of turning the public school system into a bunch of socialist indoctrination centers run by zero toerance idiots. Education should be funded and controlled at the local level. We don't need to send tax money to Washington to be run through an incompetent education bureaucracy and then sent back to the states after the idiots have taken their cut.

2. Eliminate the Department of Energy. Another gummint fiasco.

3. Eliminate the Department of Commerce. Does it do anything? Who's the Secretary of Commerce?

4. Eliminate the Department of Agriculture. We are awash in food in this country. We do not need to pay farmers to grow more. But what about the family farm? Fuck the family farm. Farming is a business. If you cannot make a profit without gummint help get out of the business. Do we subsidize Sid's Porno Shop? That's a small business. What makes Old MacDonald's farm so special? E I E I Fucking O.

5. Eliminate HUD. This is a local problem. Once again, why send money to Washington to support an incompetent bureaucracy that takes most of the money and then sends it back to the states? Poverty is not the province of the federal gummint. Poverty programs should be run by the states. If they have to raise state and local taxes to run the programs then so be it. More money is wasted in the poverty industry than in the defense industry. At least in the defense industry we have sumpin' to show for the money like jets, tanks, and ships. In the poverty industry we have created a permanent underclass that lives off the gummint teat.

6. Before any future spending bill is passed it must show in the Constitution where that spending bill is authorized. I like rock 'n' roll but I don't think the gummint should be giving the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame any money.

So there you go. I've made a big dent in both deficits. Hmmm! What problem should I solve next?

Posted by denny at February 18, 2005 04:27 PM