April 21, 2005

Texas Joke

Here's a Texas joke from Airboss who claims this is a true story.

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Bandera, Texas. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. -- -- He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night) -- -- flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. -- He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left. At last, the parking lot empty, he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road.

The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the truly proud Texan. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

Posted by denny at April 21, 2005 11:35 PM  
Comments

fantastic joke, made my day.....

Posted by: mr. garcia on April 22, 2005 03:16 AM

Bandera.... I'm from Utopia a dry area. We used to like to drive to the honky tonks in Bandera before the cops started pulling over the patrons late at night. DUI citations are killing a Texas Hill Country tradition - that weavy drive home punctuated by a sudden collision with: deer, hogs, cattle, fences, trees, the side of a cliff, another drunk in another pickup.

Posted by: Bill on April 22, 2005 06:55 AM

That sounds pretty close to the way we do things around here. I am from Kerrville just about 20 minutes from Bandera and believe you me the cops around these little towns have turned into fuckin assholes when it comes to the bars amd pretty much just driving your car. Here in Kerrville they would drive through the parking lots and mark tires with chalk then a few hours later drive through again to see who was still therethen come again later in the night and lie in wait for the one's that where there the longest. Fuckin cheaters. Of course they got there ass in a sling when it was finally exposed.

Posted by: gravdigr on April 22, 2005 09:16 AM

Truly a public service worth applauding.

Posted by: LargeBill on April 22, 2005 10:28 AM

Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!

Posted by: CharlieDelta on April 22, 2005 04:01 PM

gravedgr,

Ever frequent Criders?
Ever been too drunk to drive away from Criders?
Ya reckon Criders has the record for the most drunken fatality wrecks in Texas? I hear the tree is gone now.

I had to sneak out of Garner Park with Johnny Rodriguez back in 66. Rangers caught our friend with a car full of beer. We went over the fence and out the old mountain road.

Posted by: bill on April 22, 2005 10:58 PM

Very funny.

Posted by: addison on April 23, 2005 02:14 PM
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