To: Paul Hackoff, almost congressperson from Iowa
From: Barbra Streisand
Dear Phil,
Congratulations! You almost won. Another success for the Democratic Party. We have the Republicans on the run! I do have one question. Why didn't you demand a recount? Don't you realize that the Republicans hide a bunch of votes and those are always Democrat votes? Everytime there is a recount, we always find more Democratic votes. Look how well we did in the Oregon governor election. The Republicans hid more votes than were registered voters, they were all Democratic votes, and after enough recounts and we found them all.
I'm still mad that Carey didn't demand recounts after the 2004 election. I just know the Republicans hid lots of votes that we could have found. If he had demanded enough recounts we could have found those hidden votes and Jeb Bush would not be in office today. He's a disgrace.
And speaking of a disgrace, what about that woman camping out like a homeless person outside of his ranch in Texas? That's terrible. You would think that he could give her better housing to stay in than just a tent. I wonder if Max Cleveland will show up to stay with her?
I think we really have the Republicans on the ropes. I heard that Daily Cosby internet guy has supported 16 candidates and all of them almost won. If we keep almost winning all these elections, we will pretty soon almost take over Congress. I really hope Helen Clinton can almost win the next presidential election. Then we will almost control the entire government. We do have to stop the rabid conservative judges from taking over that Supreme Court thingy, but Senators Shuman, Bidet, and Leaky should take care of that. Happy days are almost here again.
Once again, congratulations on your almost victory.
Luv ya (not almost, but totally),
Babs