Who'd a thunk it? The South, home of southern fried steak, biscuits and gravy, lard, and sweet tea, leads the nation in obesity. I know because the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation told me so. It was on the front page. It was written by some turd in Washington DC.
Washington --- Who would have guessed it? There is an actual correlation between being fat and living in the land of fried chicken, corn bread, grits with red-eye gravy, sweet iced tea, pecan pie, porch swings and Sunday afternoon naps.
Yep. We folks in the South are lazy good for nothing crackers who eat fattening food and sleep a lot.
The Trust for America's Health issued a report Tuesday showing that obesity is rising like a buttermilk biscuit all across America --- but folks are getting fatter fastest in the South.
Gotta be good at sumpin' besides lynching blacks, burning crosses, salutin' the Confederate flag and all the other racist shit we're accused of. In Atlanta it's probably because we have to spend so much time in our cars because of our inadequate transportation infrastructure.
OK. Which are the worst states?
The report ranked states according to their percentage of obese adults, with the big five spots taken up, in order, by Mississippi, Alabama, West Virginia, Louisiana and Tennessee. Sixth was a tie among Texas, Kentucky and Michigan. Indiana ranked ninth.
Michigan? WTF? How did Michigan get in there? And another question about Michigan: Does the report count Michael Moore as a resident of Michigan?
South Carolina was 10th, Arkansas 11th, Georgia 12th, North Carolina 16th and Virginia 22nd. Of the Southern states, only Florida was in the leaner half of the nation --- ranking 38th.
WTF? Georgia didn't make the top ten? We wuz robbed! I demand a recount! And y'know why Florida is in the lower half dontcha? It's because of all those old WTDs who've moved down from New York to spend their last days. We know they're probably malnourished since a whole big bunch of them didn't have the strength to punch a hole in a ballot back in 2000.
The region "is almost like a canary in a coal mine. Waistlines are growing fastest [in the South]. But why is it happening there? I can't give you that answer," said Shelley Hearne, executive director of Trust for America's Health, a nonprofit organization with the stated goal of improving the health of Americans.
Why can't you? The guy who wrote this article can. Why dontcha ask him?
Or better yet, STFU! Who really cares except a bunch of nanny state people who are probably gonna start outlawing fattening foods?
Hey Ma! Pass me some more of that fried chicken. And I'll have some more mash 'taters and gravy. Yum. This stuff's good!
Posted by denny at August 24, 2005 02:52 PMIf it comes from Washington D.C., then its bull shit, pure and simple. If they told me that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, I'd assume it was the opposite....but I guess they have to have something to show for all the wasted tax dollars, eh?
Posted by: Vulgorilla on August 24, 2005 04:06 PMThey're coming after us--again!
Posted by: Brett on August 24, 2005 05:48 PMThe people who care are the healthy ones whose employers are forced to pay huge medical insurance premiums or provide crappy coverage so some fat slob can double fist Big Macs and then run to the doctor and get his/her diabetes, knee replacement, and/or heart attack paid for by the rest of us.
Fat people suck, regardless of what part of the country they live in.
Posted by: Erik on August 24, 2005 06:44 PMI'm goin' out for burgers and milkshakes tonight. Then I'm gonna top it off with malted beverages and some cannibis sativa to stimulate my appetite for additional chips and dip. Yummmmmy!
Posted by: Paul on August 24, 2005 08:08 PMFlorida didn't rank because all the fat ones moved up here to the Georgia mountains...they're eating biscuits 'n gravy and rocking on the porch as I write this.
I'm a fat Californian who is doing the same...ha ha
Posted by: Vicki on August 24, 2005 08:59 PMVicki - Where are ya in the mountains? A bunch of us bloggers are gonna be in Helen at the end of September. You can watch the bloggers party. We're a rowdy bunch.
Posted by: Denny on August 24, 2005 09:08 PMWatch out, Vicki. They're gonna wanna to see your tits. :)
Posted by: Paul on August 24, 2005 10:32 PMPaul...I already had concerns about you...I couldn't remember what "cannibis sativa"...duh? Thought you were being a pig...NOW I KNOW YOU ARE BEING ONE...HA HA
Denny...Right over the hill from Helen in Blairsville. I was in Helen last Friday. Cute place. When my friend in California looked at the Helen website, she said "wow, you can get married and go fishing all at the same time..."
Dammit Paul! Don't tell her that. Don't worry Vicki, Kelley and Key will take care of you. Let me amend that. Key will take care of you.
Posted by: Denny on August 24, 2005 10:48 PMKeep me posted on your plans..I'd like to meet the people behind all this fun.
Posted by: Vicki on August 24, 2005 11:09 PMVicki -Chalet Kristi (right on the river) September 30 and October 1. Listen for the most noise. That will be us. I'll have my guitar. Don't know how many other players there will be. These people are awesome! Bloggers rule!
Posted by: Denny on August 24, 2005 11:38 PMDid anyone here about that woman up north, New Hampshire I believe, who reported her doctor to the Board of Medicine because he told her she was obese and it would lead to future health problems? They are actually giving him crap about it, too. I've often said that the worst thing you can do is tell someone the truth. They prefer lies: "Wow, you look fantastic since you've put on another 60 lbs. I bet you'll last well into your eighties now!"
Posted by: Marksman2000 on August 25, 2005 04:27 AMDenny, Michigan got on the list because of the UP. Sorta required that you put on a "winter coat" every year up there.
Posted by: Justin Buist on August 25, 2005 08:55 AMWhere's Oklahoma on the list? I'm curious...
Posted by: Dave on August 25, 2005 04:55 PM