September 22, 2005

Major Real Estate Deal

My sis' former neighbor sent me this breaking news announcement.

President Bush Sells Louisiana Back to the French

President Bush and a giddy Jacques Chirac shake hands on the deal.

BATON ROUGE, LA. - The White House announced today that President Bush has successfully sold the state of Louisiana back to the French at more than double its original selling price of $11,250,000.

"This is a bold step forward for America," said Bush. "And America will be stronger and better as a result. I stand here today in unity with French Prime Minister Jack Chirac, who was so kind to accept my offer of Louisiana in exchange for 25 million dollars cash."

The state, ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, will cost hundreds of billions of dollars to rebuild.

"Jack understands full well that this one's a 'fixer upper,'" said Bush. "He and the French people are quite prepared to pump out all that water, and make Louisiana a decent place to live again. And they've got a lot of work to do. But Jack's assured me, if it's not right, they're going to fix it."

The move has been met with incredulity from the beleaguered residents of Louisiana.

"Shuba-pie!" said New Orleans resident Willis Babineaux. "Frafer-perly yum kom drabby sham!"

However, President Bush's decision has been widely lauded by Republicans.

"This is an unexpected but brilliant move by the President," said Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. "Instead of spending billions and billions, and billions of dollars rebuilding the state of Louisiana, we've just made 25 million dollars in pure profit."

"This is indeed a smart move," commented Fox News analyst Brit Hume. "Not only have we stopped the flooding in our own budget, we've made money on the deal. Plus, when the god-awful French are done fixing it up, we can easily invade and take it back again."

The money gained from 'T'he Louisiana Refund' is expected to be immediately pumped into the rebuilding of Iraq.

Posted by denny at September 22, 2005 06:32 PM  

While shaking President Bush's right hand, Chirac is using his left hand to find and swipe his watch...

Posted by: Rob Cooper on September 22, 2005 10:05 PM

lol, nice. i especially like Brit Humes comments.

Posted by: losiguy on September 23, 2005 01:37 AM

Ew, what a creepy photo. Is it just me or does Jack Shirack remind anyone else of John Wayne Gacy without the Clown make-up?

Posted by: Lisakay on September 23, 2005 05:10 AM

France is now offering money to muslims to have more kids. Link
This is not going to solve their problems.

Posted by: Jeremy on September 23, 2005 09:27 AM

Islam is not a country Jeremy, french muslims are 100% french citizens...

Posted by: Prosper on September 23, 2005 10:34 AM

Prosper - But when the Muslims outnumber the non-Muslims, it will not matter if they are citizens or not. The non-Muslims will be fucked! The only majority Muslim countries that are tolerant of other religions are those with strong military gummints, like Turkey. I shudder to think of Notre Dame as a mosque.

Posted by: Denny on September 23, 2005 10:58 AM

You're absolutely right denny, but muslims are about 10% of our nation (hard to say exactly, because our laws are very strict with data on religion or race). France's fertility rate is the second highest in europe (my wife and i raise 3 childrens), because our governement help parents who want to stay home. I worked myself 2 years at 80% of the official working time (so i could stay home every wednesday with my kids). So there will be a lot more little french in the future, sorry about that! ;-)
Muslims in Europe who promoted Jihad and war against western civilization went all in Londonistan, and this time is over since last july. Your nation was hit by only a few muslims with knife, i think there are millions of american muslims who are strong patriots of your country, and maybe thousand who fought in Irak or Afghanistan.

Posted by: Prosper on September 23, 2005 11:19 AM

- Prosper
I hope you're right, because you just said it was nothing, but maybe you're very wrong.

Posted by: Pierce on September 23, 2005 08:25 PM
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