I wrote this post last year on my birthday. I'm reposting it this year on my birthday.
October 25 is my birthday. It is also St. Crispin's Day which is a very important date in English history.
You've heard John Fonda Kerry drone on about his "band of brothers". Do you know where that phrase came from? No, it wasn't an HBO special. It came from Shakespeare's Henry V. It was the speech that King Henry gave before the battle of Agincourt, on St. Crispin's Day, October 25, 1415, where an outnumbered English army (It was 30,000 French against 10,000 Englishmen) kicked the crap out of the French. They were French after all. Some things never change. Anyway in the spirit of my Hamlet and Marc Antony updates here is the St. Crispin's Day speech.
WESTMORELAND. O that we now had here But one ten thousand of those men in England That do no work to-day!
Holy shit! We are outnumbered! If we only had some of those bloody bastards who are sitting on their asses back in England!
KING. What's he that wishes so? My cousin Westmoreland?
Why do you want that cuz?
No, my fair cousin; If we are mark'd to die, we are enow To do our country loss;
Nope, cousin dude. If we're destined to get our butts kicked there are enough of us.
and if to live, The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
But if we're gonna win, think of what an upset it would be. They would talk about us for years. It would be like the Jets beating Baltimore in Super Bowl III.
God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
I don't want any more men. We're fighting the French after all.
By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,
Holy crap! I'm not doing this for money.
Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
And I don't care if the dudes with me are doing it for money.
It yearns me not if men my garments wear; Such outward things dwell not in my desires.
I don't even care if my men wear my uniforms.
But if it be a sin to covet honour, I am the most offending soul alive.
But if it's a sin to want honor and glory than I am the biggest sinner on the planet.
No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England.
Nope! I don't want any more men.
God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour As one man more methinks would share from me For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
Nope. If I had just one more man he would take honor away from me. I am the quarterback. Just like Namath I want to shine.
Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,
Tell the rest of the army,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight, Let him depart;
that if there is anyone who is a pussy, get the fuck out of here.
his passport shall be made, And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
Give him three purple hearts. It will be his ticket home.
We would not die in that man's company That fears his fellowship to die with us.
We would not die in the company of a phony bastard such as he that would use scratches to get purple hearts and cut short his tour of duty by 8 months. Get the fuck out of my sight! You are not worthy to die with us.
This day is call'd the feast of Crispian. He that outlives this day, and comes safe home, Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
When St. Crispin's Day comes around every one who returns home will look at this day proudly.
And rouse him at the name of Crispian. He that shall live this day, and see old age, Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours, And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.' Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars, And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'
The night before St. Crispin's day he'll roll up his sleeves and show the scars and tell him he got them on St. Crispin's Day at Agincourt.
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot, But he'll remember, with advantages, What feats he did that day.
He may forget other stuff in old age, but not the Battle of Agincourt!
Then shall our names, Familiar in his mouth as household words- Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter, Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
All of our names will be remembered.
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
While knocking down some brewskis,
This story shall the good man teach his son;
The old veteran will teach his son.
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by, From this day to the ending of the world,
And on this day from now until the end of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered- We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
our small but happy force, this band of brothers
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
Anyone who fights with me will be my brother. He won't return to England and stab us all in the back by falsely accusing us of war crimes. (OK. I added that last part to make this more relevant to today.)
This day shall gentle his condition;
This day will make him a better person.
Make him a member of the gentry, even if he is a commoner.
If he's lower class this will make him upper class. (And he won't even have to marry for it.)
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
And all those pussies back home in bed,
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.
will know that they were wusses because they didn't have the balls to be with us.
Now lets go kill us some Frogs!
Before the Battle of Agincourt,
25 October 1415
Shakespeare
And GOC.
Posted by denny at October 25, 2005 12:00 AMRe: "That he which hath no stomach to this fight, Let him depart;
that if there is anyone who is a pussy, get the fuck out of here."
Too bad the French didn't hear this speech; They all would have departed before it began...Happy B-day Denny.
Posted by: Rob Cooper on October 25, 2005 12:32 AMConcur with previous comment, esp. re birthday congrats. The French can be counted upon to eat everything they kill. Snork.
Posted by: Justthisguy on October 25, 2005 02:10 AMHappy B-Day!!!
Posted by: budman8 on October 25, 2005 04:22 AMCongratulations on making it through another year on earth!! *S* Happy B-day!
Posted by: Michele on October 25, 2005 04:44 AM.. excellent post, Denny.. and happy brithday!..
Posted by: Eric on October 25, 2005 08:10 AMDenny, 59 is not old, I searched the domain name grouchy “young”and it is available. Happy Birthday
Posted by: alan in Pueblo on October 25, 2005 09:03 AMBon Anniversaire.
as a gift, i will not argue on the Hundred Years'War.
Posted by: Prosper on October 25, 2005 09:31 AMHave a safe and happy birthday.
Posted by: gravdigr on October 25, 2005 10:24 AMHappy birthday, Denny. Good work parsing Shakespeare....I think I may have to print that out.
Posted by: Duncan on October 25, 2005 10:27 AMOne of the great speeches in the English language.
Happy birthday, GOC.
This is the best interpretation of the bard I have seen since a MAD magazine take on Tony's tribute to the that wop they named the salad after...
Posted by: GUYK on October 25, 2005 11:08 AMA big old birthday smoocheroo to you, Denny!
Posted by: Omnibus Driver on October 25, 2005 11:38 AMHappy Birthday!
Posted by: Vicki on October 25, 2005 11:53 AMOne of your best posts ever! Loved it!!
Happy Birthday!!
....Mr. C.
Posted by: Mr. Completely on October 25, 2005 12:19 PMYou've done it justice. Happy Birthday Denny.
Posted by: Jack on October 25, 2005 12:34 PMHappy Birthday, Denny!
Posted by: reiggin on October 25, 2005 01:11 PMDenny, one thing I forgot to post... here's a link to Branaugh's delivery of the Henry VII speech (you'll need Real Player):
http://www.americanrhetoric.com/MovieSpeeches/moviespeechhenryV.html
Posted by: reiggin on October 25, 2005 01:32 PMoops, meant to type "Henry V".
Posted by: reiggin on October 25, 2005 01:34 PMHappy 59th Denny, may you be blessed with many more.
Posted by: Jeremy on October 25, 2005 01:41 PMOctober 25! Exactly three weeks after mine own B-day! Congratulations on surviving another trip around the sun...and enjoy your Vinous Evening. I'll expect to see full tasting notes posted anon.
Posted by: Elisson on October 25, 2005 02:01 PMHappy Birthday!
Posted by: Tina on October 25, 2005 04:31 PMHappy Birthday Denny!
Posted by: jmon on October 25, 2005 06:31 PMHappy Hatch Day, Big D. I need a trip to Atlanta. Will call.
Posted by: Velociman on October 25, 2005 06:38 PMI was so busy running my mouth I forgot. Happy Birthday!
Posted by: GUYK on October 25, 2005 07:22 PMOne year and one day older than you. Oh the shame of being born the day the UN was established. Shit! Oh well.
Happy Birthday to ya!
Posted by: TomR on October 25, 2005 08:10 PMThe gloss sounds like Spicoli from "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" But I like it.
Posted by: Zendo Deb on October 25, 2005 10:17 PMHappy Birthday, Denny. May you have many, many more.
Posted by: Mike on October 25, 2005 10:27 PMMy name is Vanna. I am an idiot. I was trolling through this site and decided to post an off topic comment. I didn't read the rules of this site. I am a liberal loser. I would also like to give Bill Clinton a blow job. He set the record for corruption. I wish the Bush administration would have as many crooks as the Clinton administration but that is impossible.
Posted by: Vanna on October 26, 2005 12:45 AMHappy Birthday Dear Sir!
Thank you for the post as well, it reminds me to keep up the good fight against my neighbor-it's a long story. I have a harrassment order against him and at the rate he is going he will be lucky if I don't shoot him before I sue him in civil court...
Keep up the great work on your blog, you keep us all smiling!
Posted by: Lisa Kay on October 26, 2005 04:50 AMAh Vanna, a true asshat. Just gotta crap in the birthday cake. Jerk.
Great post Denny, Happy Birthday man.
Posted by: MM on October 26, 2005 09:56 AMI was watching the TV the other day and saw some Bush policies shooting at our soldiers.
I know I personally am fed up with him because he simply doesn't spend enough money on social programs. And what with him blowing up those levies. I say impeach him.
Posted by: fastdad on October 26, 2005 10:46 AMoh and belated Happy Birthday!
Posted by: fastdad on October 26, 2005 10:47 AMThanks for that, knowing the conditions that it was said made the hairs on my neck stand up.
You KNOW it's shakespeare when that happens.
Posted by: Roy on October 26, 2005 12:10 PMHappy Birthday! (Elisson sent me.)
Posted by: Wanda Tucker on October 26, 2005 12:36 PMActually, Old Boy, those bloody bastards back in England would have been sitting on their arses, don't you know. What.
Posted by: Happy John on October 27, 2005 02:03 AMWell, at least John Fonda Kerry stood up to fight, which puts him leaps and bounds ahead of that other choice, dim-witted Dubya. What's the purpose of the Texas Air Nat'l Guard - to defend Texas from the Mexican Air Force? It takes a brave man to don a flight suit for that sort of duty.
"And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks that fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day"
And by the way, were it not for the French and the Poles, we would never have won the American Revolution. What of LaFayette and Pulaski? Gotta love that selective memory of southern, conservative fuckwits.
Posted by: Your Yankee Neighbor on November 2, 2005 09:00 AMDude - You didn't read the rules of this site. Next time before making incredibly stupid comments, read them first.
1. The John Kerry served argument is moot since your party supported a draft dodger in 1992 and 1996. At least Bush served. Even your hero Kerry said back then that military service shouldn't matter. Then all of a sudden in 2004 it does? Show some consistency asshole. And if it did matter then you must have supported Bush Pere in 1992 and Dole in 1996, two genuine war heroes against Bill Clinton. You didn't? Why not?
2. I served longer in Viet Nam than John Kerry did, so I guess that gives me a little moral authority. At least one if not two of his purple hearts were bogus and he used them to get a short tour of only 4 months. A real hero would have served out his 12 month term. Why won't the dickhead release all of his records? What is he hiding.
3. Why do I always have to explain to you dipshits that I appreciate the French helping us out in the Revolutionary War? We repaid that debt in WWI. Then we saved them in WWII, rebuilt their country, and defended them in the Cold War. We will also have to win the GWOT for them. BTW asshole, Poland is on our side in the Iraq War. Don't argue history with me. You will lose.
4. Try to think up a more origninal insult than "southern, conservative fuckwit". I live in the South but I spent the first 38 years of my life in the Midwest. Read more of what I write. You may learn something, but I doubt it.
Now run along and wet your bed you fucking blue state liberal!
Posted by: Denny on November 2, 2005 11:10 AM