Understanding Engineers

All but one came from my friend Pres.

Understanding Engineers - Take One:

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
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Understanding Engineers - Take Two:

To the optimist, the glass is half full. ! To the pessimist, the glass is
half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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Understanding Engineers - Take Three:

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!".

The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will
say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Note the sensitivity of the engineer. We're known for that.
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Understanding Engineers - Take Four:

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
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Understanding Engineers - Take Five:

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts political science degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Understanding Engineers - Take Six (This one came from one of my engineering instructors in college)

The difference between a mathematician and an engineer. An engineer and a mathematician are put in a room. At the other end of the room is a beautiful naked woman. They are told that every time a bell is rung they may move half the distance to the woman.

The mathematician: I'll never get there.

The engineer: Start ringing.

If you were a political science major you probably didn't get that joke. Have one of your coworkers at Pizza Hut explain it to you.

Posted by denny at April 15, 2006 12:07 AM