May 08, 2006

You Had To Have Been There Part 3

Yep! I still got stuff to write about Blown-Star.

I was in the Choumobile Saturday evening going somewhere and we passed some kids all dressed up for the prom. When Shoe saw them she said, Look it's prom night! Someone's gonna get laid!"

I didn't ask her if that knowledge came from personal experience.

Anyway, after dinner, we all reassembled up on the 6th floor deck at the hotel for some more boozing and socializing, something blodgers are really good at.

Eric asked me to play Blackbird for him and as a bonus, I also played Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring.

About an half an hour later this guy starting telling a story about some big bad dude with a beard who got attacked by chipmunks. This was maybe a 5 minute story tops and wasn't vey funny until Eric started assisting him by asking all sorts of questions along the way. He kept a straight face almost all the way through. Elisson and I were laughing so hard we almost peed in our pants. El Capitan helped out also when he started talking about chipmunks with little tiny razor blades chopping up cocaine. You had to have been there.

Eric was doing fine until the part where the chipmunks were climbing up the big bad dude's beard.

K9: Any way these chipmunks...

Eric: Was it a lot of chipmunks?

K9: Yep. It was a lot of chipmunks and...

Eric: Would you say it was a horde of chipmunks?

K9: Yes it was a horde of chipmunks. They...

Eric: A screaming horde of chipmunks?

K9: Yes a screaming horde of chipmunks. They were all over this guy.

That was about the time that Eric finally lost it himself. Like I said. You had to have been there.

So this begs the question: what is the right term for a group of chipmunks? Catfish sent me this handy dandy list.

A herd of antelope
A colony or an army of ants
A shrewdness of apes
A herd or pace of asses
A culture of bacteria
A cete of badgers
A shoal of bass
A sleuth or sloth of bears
A colony of beavers
A swarm, grist or hive of bees
A flock, flight, congregation or volery of birds
A sedge or siege of bitterns
A sounder of boars
A herd of buffalo
A brace or clash of bucks
An army of caterpillars
A clowder or clutter of cats
A herd or drove of cattle
A brood or peep of chickens
A clutch or chattering of chicks
A bed of clams
A quiver of cobras
A rag of colts
A cover of coots
A kine of cows (twelve cows are a flink)
A band of coyote
A sedge or siege of cranes
A float of crocodiles
A murder of crows
A litter of cubs
A herd of curlews
A cowardice of curs
A herd of deer
A pack of dogs
A dule of doves
A brace, paddling or team of ducks
A clutch of eggs
A herd of elephants
A pod of elephant seals
A weaner pod is yearling elephant seals
A gang of elks
A mob of emus
A business or fesnyng of ferrets
A charm of finches
A school, shoal, run, haul, catch or draught of fish
A swarm of flies
A skulk or leash of foxes
An army or colony of frogs
A flock, gaggle or skein (in flight) of geese
A cloud or horde of gnats
A herd, tribe or trip goats
A charm of goldfinches
A band of gorillas
A leash of greyhounds
A down or husk of hares
A cast or kettle of hawks
A brood of hens
A hedge of herons
A drift, or parcel of hogs
A team, pair or harras of horses
A pack, mute or cry of hounds
A smack of jellyfish
A troop or mob of kangaroos
A kindle or litter of kittens
An ascension or exaultation of larks
A leap (leep) of leopards
A pride of lions
A plague of locusts
A tiding of magpies
A sord of mallards
A stud of mares
A richness of martens
A labour of moles
A troop of monkeys
A barren or span of mules
A parliament of owls
A yoke, drove, team or herd of oxen
A bed of oysters
A company of parrots
A covey of partridges
A muster or ostentation of peacocks
A litter of peeps
A nest, nide (nye) or bouquet of pheasants
A flock or flight of pigeons
A litter of pigs
A wing or congregation of plovers
A string of ponies
A pod of porpoises
A covey or bevy of quail
A nest of rabbits
A pack or swarm of rats
A rhumba of rattlesnakes
An unkindness of ravens
A crash or herd of rhinos
A bevy of roebucks
A building or clamour of rooks
A herd or pod of seals
A drove or flock of sheep
A nest of snakes
A walk or wisp of snipe
A host of sparrows
A dray of squirrels
A murmuration of starlings
A mustering of storks
A flight of swallows
A bevy, herd, lamentation or wedge of swans
A flock of swifts
A sounder or drift of swine
A spring of teal
A knot of toads
A hover of trout
A rafter of turkeys
A pitying or dule of turtledoves
A bale of turtles
A pod of walrus
A school, gam or pod of whales
A nest of vipers
A pack or route of wolves
A fall of woodcocks
A descent of woodpeckers

Where are the chipmunks? According to the dictionary chipmunks are "small striped terrestrial squirrels", so I guess the correct terminology would be that the dude was attacked by a screaming dray of squirrels.

Got up the next morning and I said my goodbyes to everyone. Bou had to get in one last shot about pancakes and bananas. Yep! You had to have been there.

I drove down to Christina's where her mother cooked a Chinese dinner that couldn't be beat. It was worth delaying my trip home for a day. We played poker. Fortunately, Sweet One didn't play so I didn't get cleaned out.

My drive back to Atlanta was uneventful except for a truck that threw up a rock that cracked my windshield on the passenger side. At least it was my old car. Bummer!

When's the next Blodge Meet?

Posted by denny at May 8, 2006 03:38 PM  

....ya'll, see cute pix of Denny singing gay cowboy song

Posted by: vicki on May 8, 2006 06:34 PM

I can't believe I missed the original chipmunk story; however, the retelling of it moments after it happened was classic!!

You are always welcome here, my friend.

; )

Posted by: Christina on May 8, 2006 06:56 PM
A herd or pace of asses
A pack or swarm of rats
A nest of snakes
A rafter of turkeys

There's a simpler term for all of these. They're called "Congress."

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on May 8, 2006 07:46 PM

Whenever I see that list... I think of my favorite: a "pace of asses"... makes me think of Pace Picanti sauce.

Posted by: vw bug on May 8, 2006 08:42 PM

Denny, I think you've done a better job capturing the back-and-forth between Eric and Knine than anyone else. As I recall, you and I were trying not to crack up, but when Eric lost his shit, it was all over.

A memorable weekend with memorable people.

Posted by: Elisson on May 8, 2006 09:26 PM

I saw the pics of Denny playing the guitar over on Ellison's blog:

I really don't think that I'm the only one who thinks that Denny looks like a homeless person that someone has brought in from the cold. That scraggily hair, that weather-beaten face, those spindly legs.

By the way, who is the fatty sitting the chair next to him?

Posted by: Sam on May 8, 2006 09:55 PM

Sam - I think that was your momma.

Posted by: Denny on May 8, 2006 11:00 PM

Sam, the 'Concert Pitch' is drowning out your turd-speach.


I cunt hear you? Go play with yourself somewhere else JACKASS! You're too boring to read...

Posted by: CharlieDelta on May 9, 2006 12:34 AM

It's the simple truth fellows. Denny looks like an old homeless cripple and he hangs out with fat pigs. Sorry if I offended some of you. Go cry to your mommies.

Posted by: Sam on May 9, 2006 05:56 AM

... I wish I hadn't lost it when I did.. K-nine is quite a storyteller...

Posted by: Eric on May 9, 2006 08:25 AM

Hi Sam! Thanks for doing such a beautiful job of making a public ass of yourself.

You see, throughout the history of human civilization, there has existed a being whose tireless purpose has, in its way, given aid and comfort to those around him. For he exists to provide an object lesson to his fellow humans. He serves a very valuable fuction: his low intelligence and extreme lack of hygeine or social skills gives the rest of the populace someone to point and laugh at, pity, scorn, and generally feel relieved that while they might have their flaws, at least they're not as bad off as HE is.

Once upon a time, we called these the "village idiots". In this, the Information Age, they're simply called "trolls". The modern era hasn't diminished their capacities, however.

Keep carrying that torch, Sam! You're a credit to village idiots everywhere. *snicker*


Posted by: Denita TwoDragons on May 9, 2006 10:13 AM

How 'bout a "Buttload of Bloggers"?

...and for Sam, there's an "Army of Assholes."

Posted by: Elisson on May 9, 2006 11:36 AM

Sam - You gotta do better than that to make Asshole of the Week. Sinistersam. Sounds like a name Jane might use. Are you Jane? But you are right. I do look like a homeless old cripple. Getting old is a bitch. Fortunately I'm a Snotty Rich Fuck so this homeless looking dude can live real well.

Posted by: Denny on May 9, 2006 12:41 PM

I wish I could attend blogmeets. I don't have any friends and I have a deadend job. I'm a total loser.

Posted by: Sam on May 9, 2006 02:52 PM

Hey Sam/Jane - How's that job at Taco Bell working out?

Posted by: Denny on May 9, 2006 03:46 PM

personal experience? hay-ell no, my friend. that was the bitter, jealous divorcee in me speaking up. something about seeing pretty girls and greasy pimply 18 year old boys makes me happy i was a prudish, non-sexually active high schooler.

ahead of my time. seriously, chastity wasn't cool when i was doing it.

Posted by: shoe on May 9, 2006 07:12 PM

shoe - I was just teasing ya.

Posted by: Denny on May 9, 2006 08:25 PM

If it's a bevy of roebucks, what's a group of sears called? Or a group of walmarts?

Posted by: Unknown User on May 9, 2006 09:52 PM

Ellison, I think it's called 'a shitload of assholes!'

Posted by: Unknown User on May 9, 2006 09:56 PM

A monastery of chipmunks
A nutload of squirrels

Posted by: darkbhudda on May 9, 2006 10:44 PM

A screech of toddlers
A zit of teenagers
A mope of Goths
A vomit of drunks
A backstab of politicians


Posted by: Denita TwoDragons on May 10, 2006 12:24 PM
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