The president had a colonoscopy on Saturday so I may as well post the following that I received from Catfish.
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5.. "You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."
And the best one of all..
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"
Posted by denny at July 22, 2007 07:49 PM
Denny:
You may sympathize with this story.
about ten years ago, in the days before they put you out completely for a Colonoscopy, I was lying on the exam table about half way through the procedure when my gastroenterologist asked me, " John you know computers, right?"
Turned out he was having trouble with his Internet connection at home and wanted to know if I could explain how to set the TCP/IP defaults for his network card.
I asked him if he could wait until I saw him after the procedure.
otpu
Posted by: otpu on July 22, 2007 09:27 PMI concur that colonoscopies are not exactly a walk in the park but a very good tool at detecting colorectal cancer. A very treatable cancer if caught early enough. The usual pre-op med of choice is Versed. Typically no one remembers anything after recieving this med.
Posted by: Teresa on July 22, 2007 11:28 PMThe worst part of the colonoscopy is the prep, especially if you are a crip and do not have bowel control. The procedure itself didn't bother me a bit and since I have no sensation there, I stayed awake during the procedure. Looking at the monitor, I now know what many IBM managers see on a daily basis.
Posted by: Denny on July 22, 2007 11:41 PMBack before they used to totally put you out, my Dad had one done. He said to the doctor, "Hey, I asked for a Bud Lite, not a Butt Light!" I wonder if his doctor keeps a list of things said. What a riot.
Posted by: Bou on July 23, 2007 04:39 PMWhen did they start putting you under for a colonoscopy? I had one just a few years ago and they gave me nothing. Yes, the at-home prep was worse than the procedure, though the procedure wasn't pleasant either. And a lot of those comments were more about a prostate exam. No one stuck their hand in my ass during the colonoscopy. Having said all that, I could watch the TV screen with the images of the scope going up my butt and it was kind of like some bizzare ride at Disneyland. Afterwards, the doc told me that I had what my friends had been telling me I was for years... a perfect asshole.
Posted by: Rustthepan on July 23, 2007 06:26 PM* Does this mean we are going steady?
* A little more to the right...ahhhh...
* You sure you're wearing gloves?
* I know about giving the finger but this is
ridiculous!
* "Doc, please stop whistling 'cheek to cheek!'"
* "You must have a great bedside manner!"
I understand they have a camera capsule that is swallowed and they get pictures all the way through.
But if that works, will Rachel Welch be my doctor?
Posted by: Jim Macklin on July 25, 2007 06:59 AM