Glad about the good news! Coffee is a nasty drink. But French red wine is healthy. Maybe Dr.Gut never tried it. Did he say how many glasses you were allowed? ( a day, not an hour...)

Whoa. Now what's wrong with coffee? I disagree with you, Claudia.

Coffee is liquid sleep substitute! One of the necessities of life!;)

Your only vice Chocolate You forgoy Saturday boobage if he says to give that up I will personally kick his ass

My doctor knows better than to tell me not to have my two cups of coffee. He knows better than to think I would actually do it. :P

I dunno, the scope is probably less hassle than what you are doing.

F**king hell, this he tells you BEFORE a blogmeet? What if the chocolate has vodka in it...say, like, chocolate flavored vodka...is that allowed? Come on, man...it's a Blown Eye staple, and it helps dull the pain, for cripes' sake.

Long time ago my docs told me NOTHING from the body of a pig – bacon, sausage, ham, chops, ribs . . . the whole shebang. Then I turned up anaemic, so the cardiologist told me to reintroduce ham, but nothin fried, EVER. And no eggs. And no dairy except skim milk. And beef only once a week, and then portion size no larger than a deck of playing cards. No coffee, no Pepsi, no Coke.

Then, during a colonoscopy, a guy said my prostate is growing. Well, go-o-o-oleee, Doc. Anyway, said reintroduce cabbage, and green tea, and fish (hate fish, except fried channel cat or fried milkfish), and eggs, but never fried.

Then another doc diagnosed me with GERD and said no onions, garlic, peppers, or tomato (among other things) and cut back on the cabbage. Hell, everygoddamthing my wife cooks begins with onion and garlic in EVOO, followed by sliced or chopped tomatoes, various peppers, green and purple stuff, cabbage, and pork or chicken.

Son.Of.A.Bitch, guys, what the fletch am I s’posed t’eat? Friggin bran flakes 3/day/7/week? One thing they all DID agree on was chocolate – I should eat it, but NEVER milk chocolate, only the dark stuff, and with almonds or walnuts, never peanuts.

Well, hell, no way I’ll ‘member all that, so I met ‘em halfway. Don’t drink coffee, don’t eat pork products of any kind except lean ham grilled, drink two cups of green tea/day, never eat steak or pizza or ribs or lasagna or burgers or hot dogs (except the Bocas and fat-free dogs), no cheese of any kind, and never anything fried.

Sauteed? Now that’s different. What the hell’s food without garlic, onion, tomato, and peppers in a skillet with oil b’fore all the other stuff’s added?

You can learn to adapt to anything, I’ve learned. GERD wakes me up at least 3 or 4 times a week, but I wuz gonna get up to pee anyway, so what’s the diff?

One time I made my self two Boca Burgers (veggieburgers). Totally devoid of flavor, but cholesterol free and low on other stuff, too. Got two buns, slathered some fat-free mayo on ‘em, cut two big ol’ slices of ripe, red termater, two big ol’ slices of yaller onion, and laid one slice of each on the buns while nukin the burgers.

Watchin the news on TV when the patties were done. Went over and picked up one of the sammiches and was munchin away, congratulatin myself on my delusion that it actually tasted o.k., not quite a burger in the true sense, but satisfying. Finished it off and went to get the other one, and there on the tray were TWO patties, not one. I’d eaten a tomato/onion/mayo sammich and convinced myself it was almost as good as a real burger. Ah, well . . . Boca doubledeckers are o.k., too.

Forgot -- re the red wine

Docs said 6 to 8 ounces of red wine a day would be good for the cardiovascular stuff. Then for my cholesterol they gave me a statin, with strict instructions NEVER to drink alcohol while taking it.

Merdistes!

Paul - Coffee ain't bad, but alcohol is better.If the doc says: cut down on coffee AND alcohol, I'd choose ONE to cut down. I'd get rid of the coffee in order to keep the wine.

I...um... tagged you with a Meme. Heh.

Chocolate is a GOOD vice!

I guess I don't understand why a doctor would say cut down on the coffee. I can certainly understand alcohol! but not coffee. Somebody enlighten me. Now I drink like three to four cups each morning. So am I fucked now or something?

i personally fear the colonoscopy more than most lurking dangers, so i share your exuberance on dodging that firehose spycam.

still, i'm worried. when will we know more? is this changing your diving/blogmeet/summer travel plans? post more.

Paul -- essentially, doctors are in a half-assed agreement that people with chronic hypertension and/or arteriosclerosis should limit their intake of caffeine from all sources for two reasons:

1. it's a vasoconstrictor, and thereby makes already narrowed blood vessels, particularly the coronaries and the cranial arteries, even smaller, increasing the possibility of MIs or strokes

2. it's a stimulant, so it tends to cancel some of the cardio meds designed to reduce the frequency and intensity of heartbeat, kinda like takin antibuse with a glass of vodka

Some docs disagree, saying that a cup in the mornin and one in the evening won't hurt a thing, and I tend to agree because even tho they told me to stay away from coffee, they've said I need to drink tea for my prostate, and tea is pretty high on the caffeine chart. Oh, and they all tend to agree that if I drink one Pepsi or Coke, I gotta compensate for that by drinkin NO coffee or tea in that 24/hr period.

Now, bottom line . . . if you have no evidence of hypertension or elevated heart rate or arteriosclerosis or hypercholesterolaemia, the worst it'll prob'ly do to you (coffee) is cause mild indigestion and bad breath.

Yeah, I know . . . I read too mucking fuch.

The voice of experience.....
Colonoscopy....No one really likes a medical adventure in or around their delicate underparts but the Modern day colonoscopy is not the dreaded entertainment of the Rear Admiral with tunnel vision it once was. I had one last year, the entire procedure took only about 2 hours total in the hospital & back home.No discomfort at all.

Sigmoscopic exam ....In my opinion much worse then a Colonoscopy.

Prostate exam with tissue samples....fairly quick but uncomfortable.

Coffee....in the winter cannot exist without it by the gallon.

Alcohol.....when I choose to indulge, I do not drink unless I am alone or with somebody....more the merrier, To hell with the doctor.Besides there are more old drunks then old doctors.

Veggieburgers....I do think they ever found any fossil remains for Sabertoothed vegetable eaters or Tyveggisaurus, greenery is fine to mix in a salad but for enjoyment , kill a warmblooded beastie & toss it on the grill.

there are more old drunks then old doctors

What about old drunk doctors?

Don't worry Denny, whatever alcohol you have to cut out, I will make up the difference for ya!

Get another opinion.

This is not a joke but a true story.

Two years ago my doctor told me he had bad news. I had cerosus (fuck the sp) of the liver and I needed to stop drinking.

So, I drank for another whole year (every night) without going to the doctor.

So, I go back and get blood tests because I felt tired a lot and had constant heartburn.

The results come in and he says, I have good news and bad news.

The good news is, you don't have cerosus of the liver. The bad news is you have "full blown" diabetes.

I'm 55.

Fortunately, it can be handled with proper diet (no booze) and exercise.

It is exactly the complete opposite of my "lifestlye. Bad diet, no exercise, etc.

The irony I look in good physical shape but my blood is sugary (and I get some god awful nerve pains).

So, Denny, I guess it all has to do with how long you want to live vs. how you want to live.

Fuck a doctor. Eat and drink all you want. You only live once, Cat

bah.

eat right.

stay fit.

die anyway.

:)

OK folks, this is too much information time. The problem was too much loose stool and recurring massive diarrhea. Coffee can contribute to that as well as alcohol, especially red wine. Over the last week, I have gone back to normal including my diet and wine drinking which makes me think it may have been bacterial. The gastro dude is just covering all the bases. I'm gonna give him some stool samples and we'll see what's there.

As for the colonoscophy, I don't see the big deal. The worst part is the prep. I have no sensation there so when I had one three years ago they didn't even drug me and I watched the entire procedure. There is no plan to give me another one at this time.

I gave some more blood today and the lab tests show everything is normal.

Hopefully, I just had some sort of bacterial infection that has cleared up by itself. I may have caught something from the hot tub in Colorado. My last major attack was over a week ago so I think I'm OK. I had four weeks of misery.

I'm throwing myself to the wolves here...

I Like the BoccaBurgers. They don't get all greasy and they're
already flat. They make great burgers because all of
the toppings stay in place. I load 'em up with
Tomatoes, Lettuce, Pickle chips, Mayo, Spicy Mustard,
and, Cole Slaw.

What is black and white and black and white and
black and white and black and white?

I had my own rude awakening back in 2000. The
Freeways in my left chest decided to go into gridlock one Saturday morning. It seems I survived the surgen's knife.

I now watch my diet. I have also have been keeping track of sound medical science concerning coffee, Choclate, Dark Choclate, Red Wine and Egg Yolks.

The popular concensus is a Nun rolling downstairs.
Refer to the first line.

Pete

Glad to hear you are ok. But it is a damn shame that you have no sensation "down there" because the drugs they give you for that are awesome. I have never felt so good when someone is shoving a camera up my ass.

Not that I shove cameras up my as very often.

way too much info for me

When I was in the hospital a newly diagnosed diabetic my doctor told me that the dietician was going to pay me a visit and that pretty much if it tasted good spit it out!

I think Willie nailed it:
"...how long you want to live vs. how you want to live."

I agree with Willie and CD, but my dad died of colon cancer at 63. that really really sucked. I went in at 41 for my first colonoscopy. all clear but was told to "fiber up". so I cut back on some crap and increased brown rice, broccoli, fiber one bars and fiber one cereal. still lovin my occasional steak.

back in 2 years for round 2. Denny you are right that colonoscopy is no biggie at all, the prep though......damn.

Whew. Good it looks like ya dodged that bullet, Denny.

Dang, ET! And no cheese, either?! Oh, hey-- have you heard of "Veggie Shreds"? My mom needs to keep her cholesterol levels under control, and she really likes this brand of "fake" cheese, as it actually melts. I tried it before, and it's not bad. If I absolutely HAD to, I would switch to it rather than go without something "cheesy" entirely.

Looks like you'll have to be sure that every drop of alcohol you drink is the finest available. That's the only way, Denny!

I had my colonoscopy back last fall. The worst part of it for me was the prep- & drinking that 10.7 metric gallons of that Holly-Go-Lightly industrial grade laxative. "Go-Lightly", my ass ! The Moon Rockets should blast off so well...I got cleaned out all the way back to the Truman Administration- & I wasn't even around then. And when I drink a cuppa coffee or a Coke, or even water, I want ONE glass, maybe 2, but NOT a carboys' worth...Yikes !

Colonoscopy Prep....

Last time I had the pills & just plain water, about a Gallon &1/2. Had the same effect but that "Go-lightly" is horrible tasting crap which may clean you out on both ends. Plain water was a 500% improvement.

Yeah? Well George Burns was told to quit smoking cigars for so long that he outlived three doctors.

Denny
How bout this Sam Adams BEER combines the best of both worlds

Kerrcarto - They prolly gave you Demerol. After my back surgery they gave me morphine. After the morphine they gave me Demerol. I loved Demerol. It didn't stop the pain, it fixed it so I didn't give a shit about the pain. Cindy told me that Demerol is the number one drug that nurses abuse. I can understand why.

Tell me something here...I just sprained my ankle pretty badly the other day, and I'm on crutches now, so the orthopaedist prescribed hydrocodone for me (7.5/750).

This stuff is total bullshit...people take Vicodins for recreational use...it does shit for me, AND it makes me itch all fucking over, in places where peeps just shouldn't itch, too.

WTF?

Well, Denny, I guess you're living proof that even sexy crippled old(ish) dudes get explosive diarrhea too. It's kind of the female equiv (for me, at least) of "do pretty girls fart?"

Can Cindy please send me some Demerol, in exchange for some very weakassed Vicodin?

Erica - Not only do I get explosive diarrhea but there are all sorts of other nice things that happen to cripples.

Go back to your doctor and tell him of the reaction you're having to the Vicodin. You are obviously allergic to it and he should give you a prescription for another drug.

When my old doc told me to cut down and quit smoking and that he could get me the patch...I said yeah right, the only that would work if it had duct tape stickum and he would have to put it directly over my mouth. He laughed, I didn't.
Ya only live once-go for it and keep a good badattitude is what I say.