June 20, 2008

Russia Is A Crappy Place

Got this from Darrell. Dare I blockquote some of the story? It is the AP after all. Ah, I'm such an insignificant little blogger that I needn't worry.

A monument to the enema, a procedure many people would rather not think about, has been unveiled at a spa in the southern Russian city of Zheleznovodsk. The bronze syringe bulb, which weighs 800 pounds and is held by three angels, was unveiled at the Mashuk-Akva Term spa, the spa's director said Thursday.

That is one honking big enema.

"There is no kitsch or obscenity, it is a successful work of art," Alexander Kharchenko told The Associated Press. "An enema is almost a symbol of our region."

I don't know if I would want sumpin' that makes you crap be a symbol of my region. That would be like saying I lived in a real shitty place.

The Caucasus Mountains region is known for dozens of spas where enemas with water from mineral springs are routinely administered to treat digestive and other complaints.
Hey honey, let's go to the spa and have a few enemas. What a vacation!
Kharchenko, 50, said the monument cost $42,000 and was installed in a square in front of his spa on Wednesday. A banner declaring: "Let's beat constipation and sloppiness with enemas" - an allusion to a line from "The Twelve Chairs," a famous Soviet film comedy - was posted on one of the spa's walls.

$42K for a monument dedicated to bowel movements. Just think, if they did that here I'm sure we could find a politician who would insert an earmark for it.

Sculptor Svetlana Avakina said she designed the 5-foot-high monument with "irony and humor" and modeled the angels on those in works by Italian Renaissance painter Alessandro Botticelli.

If only Botticelli were still alive so he could see his angels helping people to crap. Renaissance art at its best.

"This device is eternal, it will never change," she told the AP. "We could promote this brand, turn it into a franchise with souvenirs and awards for medical doctors."

Souvenirs? Holy crap! Get me one for my bookshelves. That would go great sitting alongside my little Eiffel Tower, my London doubledeckler bus, and my little Pieta. I always get a souvenir from any country I visit. I've got a little model of St. Basil's but this might be better.

As long as we're talking souvenirs, I've got a great idea for an Assisi souvenir. For those who don't know the story of St. Francis he was told by Jesus talking from a statue of the crucifixion to rebuild his church. They even sell little models of the talking cross. Now here's my idea. Make the talking cross actually talk. Y'know like one of those talking dolls where you pull the string and it's says sumpin'. On the talking cross, you pull the string and it says, "Francis, rebuild my church." You would have to make it for different languages but that's no showstopper.

I am so going to hell. Fortunately I'm an atheist so I don't believe in heaven and hell. Or God. Or talking crosses.

Anyway, I think a talking cross is a much better idea than a model of three angels holding an enema bag. Maybe if they put a little string on it that you pull to make it fart.

enema.jpg

Posted by denny at June 20, 2008 12:48 PM  
Comments

Would be a nice symbolic fixture for the DNC as much as the Democrats are a pain in the ass.

Posted by: gene on June 20, 2008 02:07 PM

No shit! Who'd a thunk it.

Posted by: B....... on June 20, 2008 03:41 PM

I see the picture. I read the article. I still don't believe it...

Posted by: Claudia on June 20, 2008 05:12 PM

And all this time I thought the Russians were full of shit..guess I wuz wrong

Posted by: GUYK on June 20, 2008 06:01 PM

Evokes that famous pisser statue in Brussels.

As for The Twelve Chairs, it is actually a novel, written during the 1920s as a satire on Soviet Reality, and is a modern Russian literary classic. It is actually quite funny, though enemas do not play a significant role in the plot. Some years ago it was turned into a movie by Mel Brooks. Those of you who are into movies should be able to find it.

Posted by: Rurik on June 20, 2008 06:10 PM

I say we adopt this statue as a symbol of this year's political process.

Posted by: Joan of Argghh! on June 20, 2008 06:10 PM

If the nurses posing by the statue are typical of the type of people administering this therapy, maybe I could be convinced to give it a try........my luck, I would get a 300 lb dude from Mongolia.

Pana

Posted by: pana on June 20, 2008 07:18 PM

Hey all,

I was over at Liveleak and found this awesome video on how to speak "Democrat". You will hear in the background some laughter and groans. Sorry Denny, I would have emailed you this, but it couldn't wait. I think Thad listened to you about PFM. He had to censor it a bit, since he was on the floor of the house. Enjoy, I applauded the man.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=e2f_1213996086

Ampman88

Posted by: Ampman88 on June 20, 2008 08:47 PM

Hey all,

I was over at Liveleak and found this awesome video on how to speak "Democrat". You will hear in the background some laughter and groans. Sorry Denny, I would have emailed you this, but it couldn't wait. I think Thad listened to you about PFM. He had to censor it a bit, since he was on the floor of the house. Enjoy, I applauded the man.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=e2f_1213996086

Ampman88

Posted by: Ampman88 on June 20, 2008 08:47 PM

Ahh..who gives a shit about Russia.

ZIIIING!

Posted by: kerrcarto on June 20, 2008 09:59 PM

Merde, alors!

Posted by: Claudia on June 20, 2008 10:36 PM

Joan, election years tend to get all the turds out of the capitol for a few weeks.
Another symbol might be the douchebag.

Posted by: Jeremy on June 20, 2008 10:44 PM

That doesn't look like something that should cost one million rubles...

Posted by: Herr Blücher on June 21, 2008 12:17 AM

Enema of the State. I think that's what it should be called.

Posted by: PeggyU on June 21, 2008 01:09 AM

...or maybe Public Enema Number One.

Posted by: PeggyU on June 21, 2008 01:28 AM

PeggyU! As usual, U are killing me! Tooo Funny U!

Posted by: LisaKay on June 21, 2008 04:25 AM

But the babe on the right has such gorgeous legs I forgot there is a statue anywhere in the picture!

Posted by: Chris in Phx on June 22, 2008 02:47 AM
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