October 25, 2008

St. Crispin's Day

I post this every year on my birthday.

October 25 is my birthday. It is also St. Crispin's Day which is a very important date in English history.

You've heard John Fonda Kerry drone on about his "band of brothers". Do you know where that phrase came from? No, it wasn't an HBO special. It came from Shakespeare's Henry V. It was the speech that King Henry gave before the battle of Agincourt, on St. Crispin's Day, October 25, 1415, where an outnumbered English army (It was 30,000 French against 10,000 Englishmen) kicked the crap out of the French. They were French after all. Some things never change. Anyway in the spirit of my Hamlet and Marc Antony updates here is the St. Crispin's Day speech.

WESTMORELAND. O that we now had here But one ten thousand of those men in England That do no work to-day!

Holy shit! We are outnumbered! If we only had some of those bloody bastards who are sitting on their asses back in England!

KING. What's he that wishes so? My cousin Westmoreland?

Why do you want that cuz?

No, my fair cousin; If we are mark'd to die, we are enow To do our country loss;

Nope, cousin dude. If we're destined to get our butts kicked there are enough of us.

and if to live, The fewer men, the greater share of honour.

But if we're gonna win, think of what an upset it would be. They would talk about us for years. It would be like the Jets beating Baltimore in Super Bowl III.

God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.

I don't want any more men. We're fighting the French after all.

By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,

Holy crap! I'm not doing this for money.

Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;

And I don't care if the dudes with me are doing it for money.

It yearns me not if men my garments wear; Such outward things dwell not in my desires.

I don't even care if my men wear my uniforms.

But if it be a sin to covet honour, I am the most offending soul alive.

But if it's a sin to want honor and glory than I am the biggest sinner on the planet.

No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England.

Nope! I don't want any more men.

God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour As one man more methinks would share from me For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!

Nope. If I had just one more man he would take honor away from me. I am the quarterback. Just like Namath I want to shine.

Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,

Tell the rest of the army,

That he which hath no stomach to this fight, Let him depart;

that if there is anyone who is a pussy, get the fuck out of here.

his passport shall be made, And crowns for convoy put into his purse;

Give him three purple hearts. It will be his ticket home.

We would not die in that man's company That fears his fellowship to die with us.

We would not die in the company of a phony bastard such as he that would use scratches to get purple hearts and cut short his tour of duty by 8 months. Get the fuck out of my sight! You are not worthy to die with us.

This day is call'd the feast of Crispian. He that outlives this day, and comes safe home, Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,

When St. Crispin's Day comes around every one who returns home will look at this day proudly.

And rouse him at the name of Crispian. He that shall live this day, and see old age, Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours, And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.' Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars, And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'

The night before St. Crispin's day he'll roll up his sleeves and show the scars and tell him he got them on St. Crispin's Day at Agincourt.

Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot, But he'll remember, with advantages, What feats he did that day.

He may forget other stuff in old age, but not the Battle of Agincourt!

Then shall our names, Familiar in his mouth as household words- Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter, Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-

All of our names will be remembered.

Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.

While knocking down some brewskis,

This story shall the good man teach his son;

The old veteran will teach his son.

And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by, From this day to the ending of the world,

And on this day from now until the end of the world,

But we in it shall be remembered- We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;

our small but happy force, this band of brothers

For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,

Anyone who fights with me will be my brother. He won't return to England and stab us all in the back by falsely accusing us of war crimes. (OK. I added that last part to make this more relevant to today.)

This day shall gentle his condition;

This day will make him a better person.

Make him a member of the gentry, even if he is a commoner.

If he's lower class this will make him upper class. (And he won't even have to marry for it.)

And gentlemen in England now-a-bed

And all those pussies back home in bed,

Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

will know that they were wusses because they didn't have the balls to be with us.

Now lets go kill us some Frogs!

Before the Battle of Agincourt,
25 October 1415


And GOC.

Posted by denny at October 25, 2008 12:40 AM  

Happy Birthday!

Posted by: mark on October 25, 2008 12:49 AM

.....and many more to you, Denny

Posted by: Brad on October 25, 2008 01:12 AM

Shame on you.

Shame on you denigrating my stupid fucking Purple Heart.

Shame on me for putting my sorry, sleazy ASS on the line for assholes holding me now to be but a Dumb-Fuck.

If this is your idea of a gleeful Saturday joke,


Damn it, Man! Why do you Fuck with us so?

Posted by: DanS. on October 25, 2008 01:22 AM

O! I forgot! Happy Birthday!

Posted by: DanS. on October 25, 2008 01:22 AM

Hope you have a good birthday, GOC.

Posted by: MiketheRadioMan on October 25, 2008 01:43 AM

Dan - I wasn't denigrating your Purple Heart. John Kerry did that with his fake ones. And for his bogus testimony about fake war crimes.

Posted by: Denny on October 25, 2008 01:54 AM

Happy Birthday, Denny!

Posted by: PeggyU on October 25, 2008 04:32 AM

Excellent day for a birthday, right? Today would have been my father's 85th. Alas and alack, he shuffled off this mortal coil in 1989. Just as well, as a loyal Democrat this election would have killed him anyway.

Posted by: Denise on October 25, 2008 04:56 AM

Big Den! Have a great Barfday! Love ya large Cuz ;)

Posted by: LisaKay on October 25, 2008 05:01 AM

"This day shall gentle his condition;"

There be the salient part of the "Prayer of the Wounded" for me.

I pray the above daily, not for my sake alone, but for you.

I learned that phrase from my Wife & Children.

It apparently works.

Posted by: DanS. on October 25, 2008 06:44 AM

Maybe the day makes the man. Happy Birthday

Posted by: bob on October 25, 2008 07:07 AM

Have a Good 'Un, Denny !

Posted by: Sandy G on October 25, 2008 07:25 AM

Happy Birthday!

Posted by: True Blue Sam on October 25, 2008 07:43 AM

Damn, very impressive (and funny).

Happy Birthday.

I was born on August 6th.

I'll have to research and come up with a funny and happy Hiroshima Day.

Enjoy your day, O reckless soul.

Posted by: Willie on October 25, 2008 09:10 AM

Happy BD dude-have a great one

Posted by: MM on October 25, 2008 09:41 AM

Denny-Happy Birthday and all that

Willie-other than bringing a horrific end to WWII there is nothing funny about August 6th, Agincourt was about honor. Hiroshima was about nesseccity(SP?)

Posted by: Stefan on October 25, 2008 09:53 AM

May you enjoy many more, sir.

Posted by: Inbred Redneck on October 25, 2008 09:57 AM

Spot on interpretation, printing it out as reference material for my high schooler.

Happy Birthday, you deserve a great one!

Posted by: JackieD on October 25, 2008 10:27 AM

Denny . tonight we raise our glasses to you ~clink~

Posted by: patrick on October 25, 2008 10:41 AM

Happy birthday Denny, thanks for entertaining me with your blog.

Posted by: Daryl on October 25, 2008 10:52 AM

part me and in the spirit of this post part WS

Happy Birthday, Denny, "to whom I wish long life still lengthened with all happiness."

Posted by: dee on October 25, 2008 11:19 AM

Happy Birthday from one old fart to another.

Posted by: River Rat on October 25, 2008 11:25 AM

Happy Birthday, Sir Grouch, Vietnam Veteran, SRFA, Deep Ocean Diver, Skier of High Mountains, Traveler of the Highways, Prince of the Virtual Space... You earned your titles in great battles.

Wonderful translation of the Bard. I wouldn't be surprised if Prosper-Frog appears to remind you of the War it took France 100 Years to win!!!! Alas! The Brits and the Franks have lost their spirit today. They have given up the battle and lost all courage in front of the insidious Muslim ennemies invading their countries.

Only brave Americans are in it to the end..."he which hath no stomach for this fight, hath him depart;..."

Happy Birthday, Loyal Warrior. Many Happy Returns. From Canada, with love and admiration.

Posted by: Claudia on October 25, 2008 11:36 AM

Have a great day!

Posted by: Tina on October 25, 2008 11:39 AM

DanS, get a sense of humor will ya? I annoy the shit out of my daughter by referring to my Purple Heart as my "Didn't duck fast enough medal". The PH has nothing to do with heroism. It's only an acknowledgement of being wounded by enemy fire. Nothing more. A buddy of mine got one while standing in the door of the NCO club in the rear area when a 122mm Katusha rocket hit the building and ventilated his ass with shrapnel. Swilling a brewsky in Dong Ha wasn't the kind of act that legends are made of.

Posted by: Ric on October 25, 2008 11:57 AM

Denny -

We'll lift our glasses tonight to you, and your friends, wishing all of you a Victory à-la-Henry V.

All the best, as always.

Posted by: Claudia on October 25, 2008 11:57 AM

Have a great birthday....I love reading your blogs...Thanks...

Posted by: Bosco on October 25, 2008 02:13 PM

Happy Birthday, partner. Here's to many more.

Posted by: Greg on October 25, 2008 02:13 PM

Happy Birthday Denny!

Posted by: Darrell on October 25, 2008 03:03 PM

Happy Birthday and thanks for the translation, I was a little fuzzy on some of those points given the behavior of some folks claiming bands of brothers these days, but I've got it now.

Posted by: Jonn Lilyea on October 25, 2008 03:32 PM

Claudia - The first time I posted this Prosper did offer to educate me about the 100 Years War.

Posted by: Denny on October 25, 2008 03:47 PM

Has it been a YEAR already?????

Happy Birthday to you...Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear DENNY...Happy Birthday to YOU

now how many were singing along!!!!!??????

Posted by: ty guy on October 25, 2008 04:08 PM

Happy Birthday Buddy!

Posted by: kerrcarto on October 25, 2008 04:37 PM

Happy Birthday!

I was directed here by one of the denizens of the KisP Institute as I posted about St. Crispinian's Day. AND, I linked to the soliliquy from Shakespeare's Henry V as performed by Kenneth Branaugh.

Posted by: Wolfryder on October 25, 2008 05:22 PM

A great day for a birthday...enjoy.I have just posted about a new angle the beloved frogs have come up with.

Posted by: thud on October 25, 2008 05:46 PM

Happy Birthday, darlin'.

Posted by: kelly on October 25, 2008 06:22 PM

Happy Birthday!

In the French's defense, they racked up quite a few wins under Napoleon. Conquered most of the continent and all that. Maybe you were around back then? Haha.

Then again, Napoleon wasn't exactly French, either.

Posted by: Robin Palm on October 25, 2008 07:00 PM

Happy Birthday Denny

Posted by: Jeremy on October 25, 2008 08:04 PM

Robin Palm -

Don't forget that Napoléon the Corsican (Empereur de France), lost it all at Waterloo. Hadn't done too well in Russia beforehand.

Let's face it: the French have the art of losing...1763, Quebec: the French Colony...Then WW1...Then WW2...

As long as you always remember that USA won the American Revolutionary War with the help of Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de La Fayette, French General who served under George Washington.

Posted by: Claudia on October 25, 2008 09:10 PM

nicely done.

many more.

cheers. Pip!

Posted by: Pip on October 25, 2008 09:15 PM

Happy birthday Denny! I'm toasting you and your website with a nice Woodford Reserve.

While we're on the subject of the French and their war record, I believe they have the distinction of being the only country to lose to Italy twice.

Posted by: thatjerryguy on October 25, 2008 09:32 PM

Happy birthday, Denny!

Posted by: John in May-retta on October 25, 2008 10:07 PM

Wow, Happy Birthday!
You, me and the other half of The Elderly Brothers all within a week of each other...

Posted by: gregor on October 26, 2008 12:29 PM


Happy Birthday Best of luck!

Did you hear about the woman at the zoo who climbed over the safety fence to get right up to the lions cage so as to get a picture.

Of course the lion grabbed her & was slowly pulling her close enough to bite her , the Zoo employees were not having much success saving her when...... A man rushed up to the fence punched the lion in the nose several times & when the lion let go of the girl , he dragged her to safety.

The local TV station wanted to publicize this but the hero refused to be identified said I am an American soldier home on leave, I just registered to vote Republican & that is all you need to know.

The news story that night was "A Republican Army Babykiller assaulted an African Immigrant & stole his lunch at the Zoo today".......This is called Liberal News Reporting

Posted by: dudley1 on October 26, 2008 02:38 PM

... hope you made it home safe, big guy..... glad to have you up at the house!....... oh, and happy birthday!....

Posted by: Eric on October 26, 2008 09:30 PM

Great spending your birthday with you!

Posted by: oddybobo on October 26, 2008 09:53 PM

Happy Birthday Denny. For my delay in congratulating, I offer your standard excuse; I was off at my first blog meet, and just got home. Blog meets are indeed a great idea

Posted by: Rurik on October 26, 2008 10:44 PM

Happy (belated) Birthday Denny, and much health, joy and prosperity for many more years to come!

Posted by: Fausta on October 27, 2008 08:44 AM

Denny...I love you, man. You are one cool dude, and that "Blackbird" you sing is about the prettiest version I've ever heard. Many more happy birthdays to you. So great, as always, to see you.

Posted by: Erica on October 27, 2008 09:12 AM

Happy late Bday Denny

Posted by: Bill on October 27, 2008 09:17 AM

Joyeux Anniversaire !!

Posted by: Jean Bureau on October 27, 2008 10:23 AM

Glad you made it, Prosper. It's no fun without you...

Posted by: Claudia on October 27, 2008 07:52 PM

Happy Belated Birthday, Denny! Just got back to work after being ill for 4 days. May you have many more!

Imperial Keeper

Posted by: Elizabeth on October 29, 2008 09:45 AM
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