December 01, 2008

Good News

Have you fallen victim to a Nigerian scammer who promised you lots of money but all you did was send him money? Did you fall victim to the scam where you won a sweepstakes and all you had to do was send a bunch of money to them? (Alas a friend of mine did, but he has an excuse. He suffered a brain injury from a motorcycle donorcycle accident.) What about the eBay scam where the dude sends you a check for more than what you're selling is worth, and you have to send him back the difference?

Well here's some good news. I received the following e-mail today.


REF/PAYMENTS CODE: ECB/06654 $100,000 USD.

This is to bring to your notice that we are delegated from the UNITED NATIONS in Central Bank to pay 150 victims of scam $100,000 USD (One Hundred Thousand Dollars) each. You are listed and approved for this payment as one of the scammed victims to be paid this amount, get back to this office as soon as possible for the immediate payments of your $100,000 USD compensations funds.

Wow! I don't remember being scammed. The only scam that has affected me was the election of Jug Hussein Ears. Does that qualify?

On this faithful recommendations, want you to know that during the last U.N. meetings held at Abuja, Nigeria, it was alarming on the money lost by various individuals to the scams artists operating in syndicates all over the world today. In other to compensate victims, the UNITED NATIONS Body is now paying 150 victims $100,000 USD each in accordance with the UNITED NATIONS recommendations. Due to the corrupt and inefficient Banking Systems in Nigeria, the payments are to be paid by Central Bank Nigeria as corresponding paying bank under funding assistance by The Rabo Bank, based in London UK. for funds remittance. Benefactor of this compensation will have to be first cleared and recommended for payment by ECO BANK PLC.

Pay me! Pay me! Pay me!

According to the number of applicants at hand, 114 Beneficiaries has been
paid, over a half of the victims are from the United States, we still have
a pending of 36 compensations left to be paid. Your particulars was
mentioned by one of the Syndicates who was arrested as one of their
victims of the operations, you are hereby warned not to communicate or
duplicate this message to him for any reason what so ever as the U.S.
secret service is already on trace of the other criminals. So keep it
secret till they are all apprehended. Other victims who have not been
contacted can submit their application as well for scrutiny and possible

Aha! They said I was a victim. Once again, I sure don't remember that.

To enable your compensation to be processed, you are required to make available the below requirements which enables the prompt payment of your COMPENSATION to this office

1. Full Names:

2. Date Of Birth:

3. Telephone Number:

4. Total Amount Defrauded (For record keep):

5.Any Mode of identification (Drivers License or work ID)


NOTE: You are to take note of option 1&6 respectively.

On the provision of the requirements, your COMPENSATION will be processed on your payment option and remitted to you as soon as possible.

Holy crap! I can hardly wait! I'm so excited! I didn't get scammed but I'm getting money anyway. How cool is that?

Yours faithfully,
james wale
NOTE: The UN/Nigerian Government will decline any other complains of scam should you fall victim again after this compensations is paid and transferred to We want to inform you that your funds of Ј18,000,000.00 (Eighteen Million Pounds sterling) is pending with us to be transfer into your Bank Account or Delivery Cheque to you.

Wait a minute! I get 18 million pounds as well?

We formally inform you to provide us with your current new postal address
to reconfirm by our transfer crew so as to enhance quick transfer to
you,confirmation of the Address is being certified in our
DATA-BASE,Certified funds of Ј18,000,000.00 issued by the Finance Bank

In light of this, we kindly request that you confirm, if you wish to
forfeit your funds, in order for us to send you a Letter of Disclaimer,
which will enable us to officially declare your funds as unclaimed and
include it in our next stakes.

If you are ready to claim your funds of Ј 18,000,000.00 and you will
contact the Finance Bank Information Below:

Managing Director
Email Address: PHONE NUMBER: +447024080684 OR
Landline No: +8444842898
Fax No: +448704956437

Finally make sure that you reconfirm your Full Name,your Address and
telephone number to us again to avoid any mistake in delivery your Cheque
or transfer your funds into your bank account as soon as possible.

We are waiting for your response.

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs Johnson Helen

Yah sure, make sure you give them your full name and address. While you're at it, give them your Social Security number and your bank account routing code.

I wonder how many bonerheads are gonna fall for this one?

Posted by denny at December 1, 2008 04:30 PM  

"motorcycle donorcycle" I resent that prejudiced remark and given enough time, will think of some type rebuttal.

Nigerian scammers. Like most of you,I have receive my share of them. Funny you wrote about this today though, because last Friday, day after Thanksgiving, I received one and got a good laugh of the day. But did something else that I might regret, but it sure did make me feel good. Am I not mistaken that the primary religion in these third world African shit hole countries that do this is Mooselimb? (Probably should have researched this first, but didn't have time and just felt like responding right away). Anyway, responded as if I was really excited and told the person I responded to that I had started a grass roots campaign to rid the world of those that worship the pig fucker Allah (my exact words in the e-mail). Told him/her/it that the money would buy me a lot of munitions and electronic devices needed to start this endevour. (I think I was in Muslim exterminating mode again because of the Indian Hotel issue going on at that time). Anyway, asked them to please contact me ASAP as the populations of Muslims in this country was increasing exponentially and it was already late in bringing on the reckoning. So after I hit send, I started wondering, will he/she/it respond, will the CIA show up at my door, or will a bunch of suicidal camel jockeys pull up in my parking lot to exact justice (that's not likely here in bubba land where I live). So I'll keep you all posted if anything comes of it. If something does happen and I disappear mysteriously, one of you please notify the authorities to inspect my hard drive for the e-mail to Nigeria.
PS I asked once on this board, but don't think I ever got an answer. What's the trick to putting the lines through a word to "cross" it out?

Posted by: Ray on December 1, 2008 05:30 PM

a couple of years ago we had a Nigerian check scammer on the hook we actually got them to send us the check which i quickly turned over to the issuing bank. The feds don't care about these guys. He actually thought i was going to cash it and send him the money what a bonehead. As of right now I have only won three lotteries and only need to help out someone with a few mill to launder. Must be a slow day in spamville.

Posted by: greg on December 1, 2008 05:35 PM

check this site out for fun with these nimrods!

Posted by: greg on December 1, 2008 05:57 PM

If you arn't using this can I? seems a good opportunity and i don;t fancy getting up for work in the morning...I'll send you a little of the money by way of a thank you...yours living in hope and idiot.

Posted by: thud on December 1, 2008 06:42 PM

If you send me an old tie and a dollar I will send you a new tie for free. All I need is your date of birth and social security number. Oh and your mothers maiden name. Just for book keeping purposes of course.

On a side note. I would actually believe that was from the u.n. with the perfect sentence structure, grammar and all.

Posted by: kerrcarto on December 1, 2008 06:57 PM

Ford, Chevy, and Chrysler have already sent in their paperwork...

Posted by: Strnj1 on December 1, 2008 07:34 PM

kerrcarto, you'd think these scammers could find an American UN diplomat to help them write this crap. Then again, why bother. There are enough stupid Americans who fall for this stuff. That's why spamming is such a lucrative industry.

Posted by: Paul on December 1, 2008 07:43 PM

As a very wise man once said:

"Give me a sandwich and a douchebag and I can rule the world."

Or perhaps a paraphrase of another gem from that same source: What would the Internet be without its douchebags?

Posted by: ET on December 1, 2008 08:18 PM

I get those types of scam emails almost daily. Haven't had any that were unique enough to make me laugh yet. However, I did get this email from God-knows-where that I found pretty funny. Thought you all might get a yuk out of it! It is not totally off-topic as there is a "motorbyke" involved. :

Hello, iím italian boy.

I have 36 years and I love to travel in motorbyke in Europe, beach or mountain and camping, in my vacations.
The past summers I have been on the beaches of Spain, France, Croatia, Holland, but also Hungary, Switzerland, Austria, Belgium, Germany, Slovenia, Poland, Republik Czech, Repubblik Slovanska, Lithuania, Latvia...
I search a girl that she loves to travel in motorbyke and that she wants to make from travelís partner in order to organize the next vacations.
Usually I make of the trance of vacations from 10 - 15 days and succeed not to spend very.

Iím single and I search girl in order to amuse themselves and to discover new worlds, new cultures, new people...

Do you want to jump on my motorbyke?

Posted by: PeggyU on December 1, 2008 08:50 PM

PeggyU -

how could you resist an italian boy named simon who offered to take you, a girl, to the beaches of the republik czech by jumping on his motorbyke? do you not want to discover new world?

thanks for sharing!

Posted by: Pip on December 1, 2008 09:23 PM

PeggyU - I got Italian boy too and then a couple days later Italian girl...actually that one tempted me.

Ray - I'd love to learn the line cross out thing too. LofuckingL on your response.

ET- Its dooshbag in the GOC. You've been away too long.

Denny - It came from ECO-bank, and ECO is good right? I mean we all like ecology and the environment and stuff.......if it was from Chimpy Halliburton McBushHitler bank now that would be bad........

Posted by: patrick on December 1, 2008 09:50 PM

Ray - To do the line through the words use the strike tag.

Posted by: Denny on December 1, 2008 10:47 PM

I got scammed once, but it was by a sniggerian, so I guess I'm safe...

Posted by: CharlieDelta on December 1, 2008 11:35 PM

What CD? You mean Nobama scammed you?

Thanks for the trick Denny.

Posted by: Ray on December 2, 2008 06:07 AM

These guys are one of the many reasons we should have never done completely away w/torture, IMHO...No, it prolly WOULDN'T deter anyone else, but who wouldn't enjoy seeing one of these jokers get his/her/its Just Desserts by being Boiled in Oil, or Drawn 'n' Quartered ? Mbwahahahahahaha...

Posted by: Sandy G. on December 2, 2008 07:05 AM

Sandy - Who you want tortured, the scammer or the scammed? Both would benefit........

Posted by: B....... on December 2, 2008 07:43 AM

I read somewhere last week that a woman was being scammed by these idiots and she went to the bank to send the money and the bank told her that she was being scammed, her son told her not to send the money but she went ahead and sent it anyway. She said that the people needed money more than her. Stupid is stupid does.

Posted by: gene on December 2, 2008 08:31 AM

I read that same story, the kicker is that this had been going on for a while, they kept getting more money from her, she lost everything, but the dumb ass kept sending mo money (I wonder who she voted for)

Posted by: Bill on December 2, 2008 09:46 AM

If that's not broken English, what is? Not even a militant spell checket could screw up that bad.

Posted by: Mark on December 2, 2008 11:48 AM

Gene and Bill - Read the same story. The idiot cashed in her 401-K to continue sending money. She must have been a blonde.

Posted by: Denny on December 2, 2008 01:12 PM

It's the same scam Obama used:"We are doomed.

Posted by: Jumpboots187thPIR on December 2, 2008 07:37 PM

The scammers themselves are the ones who oughta be boiled in oil. The victims oughta be bitch-slapped upside the head for stupidity, though. I love the ones who have a vaguely "British" first name, say "Nigel" or "Ludovic", then an African name-"Obote" or "Bantu", & then a string of phony degrees & titles after their names...And they're always the Managing Director or somesuch of the biggest bank in Sierra Leone, Gabon, Upper Volta, Dahomey...

Posted by: Sandy G. on December 2, 2008 07:51 PM

perhaps a word of caution, if your bank manager uses

Posted by: Frank G on December 2, 2008 11:15 PM
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